Be honest. If a man expected you...

[AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit]

to split the bill on a first date would it put you off?

I think whoever asked the other out should pay - with the general understanding that it will even out as things progress. The only times I asked someone out and then suggested we split the bill it was because I was quietly cutting my losses after a disappointing date.

@PumpkinKlNG

I wouldn’t go on a walk for a first date, seems a bit lazy/ lacking in effort

Assuming you've never met them yet though, the first date is just to see if they are worth making an effort for. You don't want to be stuck in a restaurant with someone who half way through the starter, turns out to be a total arse afterall.

Honestly I'd be fine with that.

Yup. Curtains.

[quote Boatonthehorizon]@CoffeeTopUp
Haircut / colour £90
Nails £25
Eyebrows £10
Dress £50
Shoes £30
New tights £5

£210 and thats doing it cheaply. Expense is one of the reasons I dont bother any more.[/quote]
😂😂 More fool you if you’d spend that much on a date.

Hairbrush and make up already owned: £0
Clothes and shoes already owned: £0

When I was dating, I never would have spent silly amounts of money in prep for a date. If I did, I wouldn’t then have expected to somehow recoup my costs by getting the bloke to pay for dinner. If a woman wants to splash out to look and feel good, good for her - it doesn’t have a bearing on the cost of a meal and drinks on a date. Madness!

I’d expect to split the bill, unless they’ve basically got me there under false pretences, ie lied on their profile and turned out to be married, 10 years older, etc.

When it doesn’t happen I offer to pay next time. I don’t incur any extra costs in going to lunch, I wear shoes and keep my nails tidy all the time!

I've been with DH for 30 years so it's a good while since I've been on a date, but if they didn't offer to pay then I never saw them again.

No one likes a cheapskate.

@CoffeeTopUp

SheWoreYellow a man who comes across a woman who doesn’t want to split could come to the same conclusion about her.

I would hope he would.

I wouldn't mind at all, especially if it was a first meet via OLD so we hadn't actually seen each other in the flesh before (I always saw them as a meet up rather than a date and would generally just do a drink or coffee rather than a full on expensive dinner).

However, the only man I dated who did ask to split the first date (at a location convenient only to him in a restaurant chosen by him) ended up being a bit of a dick so I'm not sure what that says about it!

@Comedycook

Yes it would put me off.

Not because I am desparate for a free pizza and a glass of pinot grigio, but because I like a man who is manly and generous...not some guy who is going to divide up the cost and sit there while the waiter hands the card machine to both of us. I would always offer to split and actually if he accepted I'd probably just pay the entire thing myself rather than deal with the pettiness.

Paying for meals is manly? Generosity is a great trait for men and women. Why should the man on a date be the generous one?!

I would prefer not to go for dinner with someone until I was at the comfortable with them stage, at which point I’d like him to pay the bill the first time and then take turns from there. Until then I’d rather just go for drinks with someone and I’d expect to pay for alternate rounds. Dinner is too much of a time/money investment for hanging out with a complete stranger.

No, splitting should always be for first dates either 50/50 or pay for your part of the bill! Certainly helps lower expectations for reciprocation in some form. If the relationship continues and one person has more disposable income than the other, then fair enough if they want to treat the other person more often.

@SukonthaM

I know it’s frowned upon nowadays to expect a man to pay, but I would actually expect the man to pay for the first date. But only if I plan to see him again. If I had no interest in a second date then I’d insist on at least splitting the bill.

this ...

No. I want to pay half. I’m not a cute little pet who needs a treat.

Oh god my post crossed with two that kind of make my point. ‘Manly’? ‘Ungentlemanly’? Jesus wept.

No.

[quote Boatonthehorizon]@CoffeeTopUp
Haircut / colour £90
Nails £25
Eyebrows £10
Dress £50
Shoes £30
New tights £5

£210 and thats doing it cheaply. Expense is one of the reasons I dont bother any more.[/quote]
I wouldn’t spend anything like that on date preparation, whereas my husband would struggle to put together an outfit from his wardrobe that cost less than that to go to the corner shop. It would take me more time to get ready though.

I find it outrageously outdated and offensive when women feel men should pay for them. Yuck.

Yes it would put me off.

If he asked me out and suggested a place, I'd offer to pay half or insist paying half... if I didn't want to see him again but if he asked me out and absolutely expected me to split it, I'd feel he was cheep.

@TheWayTheLightFalls

I have to say, this is one of the reasons I’m put off dinner as a first date activity if it’s really someone you’ve only just met. Two-ish hours in the company of someone you may have decided 20m in is not for you. I’d suggest a coffee, walk etc

In my eyes if he suggests just a walk for a first date, that's a big sign that he's a tightwad.

I would always expect to pay half (or for my share if there was a big discrepancy in what we’d had). It’s embarrassing that some women expect to be paid for.

I think whoever did the inviting should pay, whether that's me or him. Then the other person gets the next one.

MiddleParking Perhaps there should be some sort of rate women could use to work out the cost of the time it takes them to get ready for their date with the manly, gentlemanly man they have dinner with. 😉😄

Yes it would put me off if he expected it.
If he had asked me out, then I would expect him to pay (although I would offer to split bill, as thats polite thing to do or then offer to buy drinks afterwards) and vice versa if I'd asked him out, I would pay.
If someone asked me out to dinner and then said here is your half of the bill, I wouldn't be very impressed, no.

No one likes a cheapskate.

So what does that say about a woman who expects someone else to pick up the bill?