Be honest. If a man expected you...

[AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit]

to split the bill on a first date would it put you off?

Always paid my way. Don't understand people who expect otherwise to be honest

@Boatonthehorizon

On one hand its nice for them to pay because a womans behind the scenes exoenses far outweigh the cost of the date itself.

What?! A bloke could wear a shirt and aftershave that costs more than the dress the woman is wearing.

People are mad!

I think it depends on the situation, if you’re both equally as able to pay and it’s you pay next time situation I wouldn’t mind, but if it’s an I’m the man so I must pay for the little lady situation I wouldn’t like that. If he’s picked somewhere really expensive that you wouldn’t normally go then I’d let him pay too.

It’s not a matter of him expecting me to split the bill, it’s a matter of me expecting
him to.

SheWoreYellow a man who comes across a woman who doesn’t want to split could come to the same conclusion about her.

Yes it would. All these "outdated ideals" which people seem to sneer at now just seem to give guys another reason to behave badly. If someone asks you out, they should at least offer to pay unless of course you have no intention of seeing them again

I wouldn't go for a meal for a first date.

And I'd rather drinks were bought in rounds each, rather than individually.

@workshy44

Yes it would. All these "outdated ideals" which people seem to sneer at now just seem to give guys another reason to behave badly. If someone asks you out, they should at least offer to pay unless of course you have no intention of seeing them again

What if the woman has asked the man out?

DH and I split bill on our first date, fine, but he then insisted on getting a taxi back to his rather than train which I'd suggested. He happily accepted half from me for that despite it being a huge amount for me to afford. He didn't know then that I earned significantly less than him, but I think he was also trying not to offend... everything from second date onwards was paid for by him 😁

No. On my first date with my husband he did pay but only because he insisted- I definitely did offer.

No I'd be quite relieved actually. A first date is just a 'meeting' really to see if it's 'got legs' to go any further.
I would expect to pay my half, and have no argument in doing so.

Unless he'd said clearly that it was his treat then I would expect to pay my half. If he tried to insist I would offer to pay for the drinks. I'm in my 50s so I don't think it's a generation thing 🤔

@CoffeeTopUp
Haircut / colour £90
Nails £25
Eyebrows £10
Dress £50
Shoes £30
New tights £5

£210 and thats doing it cheaply. Expense is one of the reasons I dont bother any more.

Yes. It's a massive no no in my opinion. Perhaps not a game over scenario but probably a third of the way there. I'd think him cheap and ungentlemanly.

Yes it would put me off.

Not because I am desparate for a free pizza and a glass of pinot grigio, but because I like a man who is manly and generous...not some guy who is going to divide up the cost and sit there while the waiter hands the card machine to both of us. I would always offer to split and actually if he accepted I'd probably just pay the entire thing myself rather than deal with the pettiness.

The last bloke with whom I split the bill on the first date I married three years later, and that was eleven years ago. Still married. He’s still not a caveman and I’m still not a damsel in distress who needs a man to pay for her to feel he’s a real man.

Yes, there's something very unromantic and transactional about splitting a restaurant bill. If a man asked me out I'd expect him to pay, and then I'd pay on the second date. I know this won't be a popular opinion but personally I think it's a bad sign if the person who's organised the first date doesn't offer to pay. If they are that ungenerous on the first date (when they are hopefully trying to make a good first impression), how tight are they going to be 7 years and two kids down the line?!! Call me old fashioned but I think it says a lot about a man if they ask you out, but don't offer to pay

Yes it would put me off

I don't even discuss the paying of the bill. I take cash with me and wack the rough amount on the table as soon as the bill arrives.

Sometimes, I've even paid for the man.

No happy to pay half, with coffees I offered on our first big date a curry,

I have to say, this is one of the reasons I’m put off dinner as a first date activity if it’s really someone you’ve only just met. Two-ish hours in the company of someone you may have decided 20m in is not for you. I’d suggest a coffee, walk etc

I would expect to split it, but equally wouldn’t be offended if they offered to pay, I would just expect to pay for the next one.

1st date surely has to be split the bill territory as an assumption these days surely? Or if not an obvious "let's go halves" a more subtle each of you sharing paying for stuff over the course of the date so it pretty much balances out. Fair enough if someone insists it's their treat but it shouldn't be assumed that the other person is paying no matter the composition of the adults (male/female, female/female, male/male etc).

I wouldn’t go on a walk for a first date, seems a bit lazy/ lacking in effort

I think it depends on income. I think it is good manners for the higher earner to pay more often than the lower earner. If both parties earn around the same and have similar financial commitments then of course split the bill all the time.

I can't stand stingy people. I remember paying for a guy on a few dates. He never once returned the favour. He was happy for either me to pay or we split the bill. It left quite a bitter taste. We both had similar salaries but he was living in a cheap house share with a lot more disposable income than me. I was living in a private rented property with a child. I kinda lost respect for him. I'm quite generous and if our finances had been the other way round, I'd have been happy to pay more often.

I wouldn't expect or allow one person to pay all the time but I do value generosity.