Partner arguing with my daughter over food

[silverspider]

I'm not sure why I'm posting on here, I think it's because I've had enough but just need to make sure I'm not over reacting.

My partner of 3 years has just had an argument with my daughter (she's 16) over her eating the one packet of melon in the fridge. He doesn't live here (stays a couple of nights a week) and doesn't contribute towards my shopping (I don't expect him too).

He accused her of being selfish as he fancied some of the melon. Im not being funny but he doesn't have any right to demand she leave some for him, surely? He's never 'horrible' to my daughter but his sense of entitlement around my house appears to be getting worse.

Minor problem I know, but someone please tell me he's taking the mick here?!

I cannot imagine any man having a go at a child over food especially a treat that was bought especially for her.

I agree with posters above he is trying to get her to leave.

if anyone trash talked my teens theyd be put straight-by them&me too if warranted..of courseUneed to kick his ass into touch-family comes first&he's on the outer..cheeker fucker.

Called her selfish for eating her melon.
He doesn't pay for that food.

Honestly, tell him to fuck off and not come back. This will be one of many things.

Im totally missing the point of the thread I know, but what is a packet of melon?

Lollies?

I hope it’s not fresh fruit stuck in a packet as that would be weird and I don’t know why it would be sold that way.

@TheFrogsAreDying

Im totally missing the point of the thread I know, but what is a packet of melon?

Lollies?

I hope it’s not fresh fruit stuck in a packet as that would be weird and I don’t know why it would be sold that way.

It's a portion of pre cut melon in a packet Why is that weird to you?

@TheFrogsAreDying

Im totally missing the point of the thread I know, but what is a packet of melon?

Lollies?

I hope it’s not fresh fruit stuck in a packet as that would be weird and I don’t know why it would be sold that way.

My kids take a packet of them or pineapple to school with their lunch. Its convenient and saves waste in the fridge.

Men generally try to get their feet under your table and take over the household if you let them. Stamp on this behaviour OP. Your house, your daughter, your food, your rules.

@TheFrogsAreDying

Im totally missing the point of the thread I know, but what is a packet of melon?

Lollies?

I hope it’s not fresh fruit stuck in a packet as that would be weird and I don’t know why it would be sold that way.

Such a purist you’ve never even been to a supermarket. Impressed.

Regards the melon, a logical chat will solve that…you pay for it for your daughter, he doesn’t get dibs.

Unfortunately I think your problem is more pervasive what with the tv remote ownership. Actually, the fact that you’ve got an overall sense of his entitlement in your home but can’t provide any immediate examples tells me that he’s getting too comfortable…it’s always the small, seemingly unremarkable instances that tell the real story. It’s how they make you feel.

What ?

Ok for those of you who’ve never travelled to Australia, you CANNOT buy watermelon, rockmelon, honeydew, etc in packets, never seen it like that. Rockmelons or watermelons you buy it whole or in halves or quarters, cut it yourself and stick it in a container.

@pictish don’t be nasty, it was just a question, MN doesn’t have to be a bitchfest all the time.

@TheFrogsAreDying In the UK can can buy chunks of melon in packets. Handy for picnics, school lunches, or if you just want some melon without buying a whole one

Please tell me he does not have a key to your house.

@pictish Yes that's how I feel, like I'm being made to be unreasonable for pulling him up on things that I know are not right, like the melon and the TV. Lots of small things that actually paint a bigger picture.

@TheFrogsAreDying

Ok for those of you who’ve never travelled to Australia, you CANNOT buy watermelon, rockmelon, honeydew, etc in packets, never seen it like that. Rockmelons or watermelons you buy it whole or in halves or quarters, cut it yourself and stick it in a container.

@pictish don’t be nasty, it was just a question, MN doesn’t have to be a bitchfest all the time.

Maybe engage your brain before you type then. You literally answered your own question, plus the OP explained it!

He really doesn't sound very nice at all.

Ah I see. I apologise Frogs. We get a lot of competitive elitism over shit like this on mn…I assumed you were in UK. Pre-prepared melon cut into chunks, wedges or fingers is common here.

[quote silverspider]@pictish Yes that's how I feel, like I'm being made to be unreasonable for pulling him up on things that I know are not right, like the melon and the TV. Lots of small things that actually paint a bigger picture. [/quote]
Aye to that. It’s all stuff you don’t quite feel comfortable confronting because there’s always a margin for it being your misinterpretation. It’s not…but that’s the nature of these things, they’re insidious.

This is at least the 5th thread of this sort I've seen recently. OP, he's an entitled rude twat and I'm confident this will not get any better. On one thread, the man was sleeping over 6 nights a week and when she said he couldn't come over because she was out... she came home to find him sitting in her driveway in his car!

He clearly thinks he gets to make all the decisions, even though it' sYOUR house. Ick.

OP,

I would be SO concerned about the example of a relationship that you are giving to your daughter.

I mean that kindly and sincerely.

It is really not good that this man who pays for NOTHING feels so entitled and comfortable in YOUR home that he calls your child names.

Calling her selfish IS calling her names.

How will you feel if SHE ends up with a selfish prick?

I would take this wake up call VERY seriously.

So many abused women on here come from homes where the dynamic was wrong/unhealthy/disrespectful/abusive.

Where they SAW their mother disrespected.

Don't do that any longer to your daughter.

She WILL judge you harshly and she would be right.

Show her today that you are not accepting that little prick behaving like that to YOUR precious daughter or you.

Model the woman you want HER to be able to be.

Strong, assertive, knowing HER value in this world and a relationship.

@TheFrogsAreDying Coles, Woolworths, Harris Farm

Oh FFS @Mookie81, as I said this site doesn’t have to be a bitchfest all the time. We put it in reusable hard plastic containers. I can’t see how it wouldn’t get mushed in disposable plastic packets. I thought melon must be some sort of dried fruit thing, or a food I hadn’t heard of. But carry on being nasty if it makes you happy.

I don’t think it is minor from your DD’s POV.

She has a man in her home, she didn’t choose him, or invite him in, but he is telling her how to behave in her home, and with her Mum’s resources.

I hope she heard you sticking up for her having the melon that was bought for her.

He is behaving as if he lives there, in a shared household and having had a conversation, that includes your DD’s consent, that you live as a family.

Even so, how does he get to hog the TV in the living room without checking? Or saying ‘big match tonight’ so that you can all plan, either him to watch elsewhere or you to go to the cinema or whatever.

Fair enough, boundaries dissolve as a relationship progresses, but he seems to be taking a lot for granted. Especially the width of his lane.

They do like to manspread, don’t they?

I think just go back to seeing him out of your house OP. It sounds like he's become too complacent and thoughtless.

His behaviour re the melon would completely wind me up.

Ok for those of you who’ve never travelled to Australia, you CANNOT buy watermelon, rockmelon, honeydew, etc in packets, never seen it like that
Utter bollocks