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Original poster

Partner arguing with my daughter over food

203 replies

silverspider · 28/08/2021 15:19

I'm not sure why I'm posting on here, I think it's because I've had enough but just need to make sure I'm not over reacting.

My partner of 3 years has just had an argument with my daughter (she's 16) over her eating the one packet of melon in the fridge. He doesn't live here (stays a couple of nights a week) and doesn't contribute towards my shopping (I don't expect him too).

He accused her of being selfish as he fancied some of the melon. Im not being funny but he doesn't have any right to demand she leave some for him, surely? He's never 'horrible' to my daughter but his sense of entitlement around my house appears to be getting worse.

Minor problem I know, but someone please tell me he's taking the mick here?!

OP posts:
ItsAChallengingWank · 28/08/2021 17:55

😂 @CaMePlaitPas

I like that a lot. I hope your dd is ok op, your dp sounds wanky

insidenumber5 · 28/08/2021 17:55

@silverspider

For those of you wondering, I told my daughter she could have the melon and she sat right in front of him and ate it all Smile
That's not the win that you think it is. A win would have been booting him out back to his own home to buy his own fucking snacks.
SafeMove · 28/08/2021 17:57

Tell melon fucker if he doesn't like you feeding your child with the food you have bought he knows where the door is.

What did he say exactly to your DD? Along the lines of can I have some please DD or 'Dont eat that, I fancy it?' Either way, he is very fucking entitled.

EarthSight · 28/08/2021 18:16

I feel sorry for your daughter. She's got a man coming over to her house telling her she's selfish because she didn't save a packet of melon pieces (that were meant for her) for an an entitled adult she's not related to, and who can afford to get his own melon pieces if he loves them that much. She could have easily said 'If you weren't so selfish, you wouldn't expect to eat a child's food when you haven't paid for it. In fact, you might be buying me an extra packet every now and again as a gift'.

Your partner needs to sit himself and see that he was being a petulant twat with that comment.

Angryfrommanchester1 · 28/08/2021 18:22

[quote silverspider]@Goldbar I'm trying to think of other examples now but I'm struggling. One would be that when he's at mine he seems to be having total control of the tv remote. He'll come over for the evening and put a football match on tv without checking that's ok and I'll be sat there like a lemon whilst it's on. [/quote]
Very entitled. You need to address it at the time and say sarcastically ‘so are we watching football then?’ Or just take the remote back and switch channels.
Re the melon, I would say it was her melon and you had given her permission to eat it, he had ZERO right to make her feel bad for eating it. Oh also tell him to never comment on what your DD eats again.

Crikeyalmighty · 28/08/2021 18:36

That was a really twatty thing for him to say OP, especially given that he neither lives there or paid for it. He owes you all an apology and if one wasn’t forthcoming I would be seriously thinking if you want to be in a relationship with someone so mean minded

GreyhoundG1rl · 28/08/2021 18:39

The fact that your daughter got to eat the melon is hardly the point, op?!

AgentJohnson · 28/08/2021 18:47

Have you ever thought that you are enabling his sense of entitlement? Think about the relationship role model you are setting your DD by allowing this twat to be still be in your house after this.

Come on OP, find your self respect and get rid.

Peach01 · 28/08/2021 19:05

What a prick. The melon was bought because your daughter loves it, but he expects her not to touch the food in her own fridge in case he wants it.
He has no place to do this kind of thing. He may be your partner but he's still considered a guest in what's your and your daughters home. He should treat the home and those who live there respectfully. She hasn't done anything wrong. He can't sporadically come over and command he has authority over the fridge, TV and your daughter asking his permission to eat. You have the authority. The melon wasn't his. He sounds like a child.

RandomMess · 28/08/2021 19:16

Wannabe Cocklodger!!

chesterelly · 28/08/2021 19:17

OP sorry I'm a complete Neanderthal and can't link but have a search for threads from last year by a poster called Droopyears. Her cocklodger DP had a strop about lack of food in her house. I remember it as a first class lesson in how to deal with the freeloading bastards in life. Apart from him flouncing off with her Yeokens.

RoseRedRoseBlue · 28/08/2021 19:20

He is behaving this way because you allow him to. He need to shape up or ship out - preferably the latter.

rainbowmash · 28/08/2021 19:51

Relying on minor victories (your daughter asserting dominance over the melon) is only going to lead you into a false sense of security and a lifetime of petty battles in your own kitchen while your household gets destroyed from the inside.

If you actually want to come through for your kids and genuinely show you have a spine, you'll not tolerate whingeing freeloaders so much as speaking to your children, let alone sharing a kitchen with them.

Ditch now. Or it'll be this shit forever.

hayley013 · 28/08/2021 19:57

Your daughter is a legend

Marmelace · 28/08/2021 20:01

Do not allow your dd to be in the firing line of being berated by your boyfriend, she should feel safe and secure in her home. Sadly I doubt you will kick him into touch any time soon.

Peach01 · 28/08/2021 20:08

OP even if he lived there I would still be saying what a prick. The fact he doesn't (which is the reality) makes a bad situation a whole lot worse.
If he lived there and deemed it acceptable to argue with your 16 year old daughter for eating a packet of melon it's still pathetic. He can't expect people to be clairvoyant and/or tip toe round and do things like eat with his permission.

HollyGrail · 28/08/2021 20:19

Hmmm, I would be a bit annoyed if someone took a pack of something and sat and ate it all without offering some to others.

I would also think that you can't whinge about him having the remote all the time if he has always had the remote all of the time when he comes over with no one complaining. It needs a discussion (mind you he wouldn't have had the remote all the time if it was my house).

CherryDocsInYrBalls · 28/08/2021 20:22

Imagine a home where you and your dd watch TV together eating melon, with more money in the bank not paying for any extras for Mr melon fucker. Where your daughter doesn't have to think twice about whether she's annoying the man child just by her existence. He's not good boyfriend material unless you see him at his house with him footing the bill and your daughter not forced to share her home with him

GreyhoundG1rl · 28/08/2021 20:22

@HollyGrail

Hmmm, I would be a bit annoyed if someone took a pack of something and sat and ate it all without offering some to others.

I would also think that you can't whinge about him having the remote all the time if he has always had the remote all of the time when he comes over with no one complaining. It needs a discussion (mind you he wouldn't have had the remote all the time if it was my house).

But he doesn't contribute to the food bill, so he had no business querying why op's daughter was eating something in her own home. Op could well query why he doesn't contribute despite eating at her house three times a week. It would be a reasonable question, really.
HollyGrail · 28/08/2021 20:26

Is DD aware of the lack of contribution to the bills - that's the OP's call anyway.

Peach01 · 28/08/2021 20:27

Why couldn't he have asked for the melon if he wanted it so much that he picked an argument? He seen the melon, wanted it (allegedly) said and done nothing about it but argued with your daughter when she ate it.
How many more times will there be fights over things like this? Someone will get the brunt when they've genuinely no idea it would cause him to get upset.

GreyhoundG1rl · 28/08/2021 20:28

She probably isn't, but he's a grown man, freeloading on his partner.
He doesn't get to whine that he fancied a share of the melon he's had no part in putting in the fridge.

bluebeck · 28/08/2021 20:43

I think the time has come for him to fuck off.

CrackersDontMatter · 28/08/2021 23:07

@HollyGrail

Hmmm, I would be a bit annoyed if someone took a pack of something and sat and ate it all without offering some to others.

I would also think that you can't whinge about him having the remote all the time if he has always had the remote all of the time when he comes over with no one complaining. It needs a discussion (mind you he wouldn't have had the remote all the time if it was my house).

OP bought the melon specifically because her DD loves it. Maybe it was a single serving. Those fruit packets tend to be small. It's not like the dd sat and demolished a whole melon. I buy cranberry juice because my dd (also 16) loves it. If someone asked, she'd share but I would never expect her to offer it round every time she fancied some.
Geppili · 28/08/2021 23:42

What @NeverDropYourMoonCup said.

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