Partner arguing with my daughter over food

[silverspider]

I'm not sure why I'm posting on here, I think it's because I've had enough but just need to make sure I'm not over reacting.

My partner of 3 years has just had an argument with my daughter (she's 16) over her eating the one packet of melon in the fridge. He doesn't live here (stays a couple of nights a week) and doesn't contribute towards my shopping (I don't expect him too).

He accused her of being selfish as he fancied some of the melon. Im not being funny but he doesn't have any right to demand she leave some for him, surely? He's never 'horrible' to my daughter but his sense of entitlement around my house appears to be getting worse.

Minor problem I know, but someone please tell me he's taking the mick here?!

Remote is mine in our house (I didn't ask for it to be, it just is) I always ask what everyone else wants to watch though so your DP is overstepping the mark even for someone who lived there, which he does not.

He’s the guest, your dd lives there. He doesn’t get to decide what she eats. Had he bought it for himself, fair enough, but he didn’t.

The eye-rolling could be considered a bit cheeky, or rude, but it could also be dd thinking he’s at it again. Maybe worth having a conversation with your daughter about whether there’s been more incidences like this, and maybe time to draw up stronger boundaries.

Well done for supporting your daughter.

[quote silverspider]@Goldbar I'm trying to think of other examples now but I'm struggling. One would be that when he's at mine he seems to be having total control of the tv remote. He'll come over for the evening and put a football match on tv without checking that's ok and I'll be sat there like a lemon whilst it's on. [/quote]
I think it’s time from you to be more assertive before he takes complete control.

He took the biscuit, so to speak

Goodbye, melon fucker.

He eats at yours without contributing and whines when the food he "fancies" has been eaten by someone else?
What do you see in this freeloading idiot?

She rolled her eyes at him, I told her she could have it, me and partner had an argument about it and then she sat down and ate it in front of him.
Good for her. Would she share some of her backbone with you, do you think?

OP, I think this bloke's behaviour is beginning to escalate into full blown prick.

I suggest you dump him, and then work on yourself to avoid being a doormat in future.

This bloke is effectively taking control of your home, and your DD's home. It needs to stop, and your DD needs her home/safe space back.

Then open your mouth and say something.

Why don’t you live together? I might have missed that on an earlier post.

I can see how in a long relationship where there’s a good reason not to live together, a partner shouldn’t be a guest in the home when they’re there part time. The thing here is, his behaviour is unacceptable whether he lives there or not.

@MrsRobbieHart

“What are you playing? this isn’t your house. You don’t pay for any food. You don’t get to call dibs on anything that’s here. I buy all the food for me and my daughter. You have your own house to have melon in if you want. Apologise to DD right now.”

This in spades!

Seriously question, is it that you are so desperate to be with a man the reason you're putting up with this complete bullshit? You have your own home and finances, you clearly don't need him for anything. It's hard to imagine any woman putting up with this shit from some pointless boyfriend.

OP your bar is set very low. Kick this one into touch and work on your assertiveness. You’re giving this man the wrong signals.

That’s not on. He’s throwing his weight around in your home, telling your daughter (also in her own home) what she can eat! This is a massive red flag for me I’m afraid. Get rid of him, he’ll only get worse.

@FuckingFabulous

Goodbye, melon fucker.

Yes tell melon fucker to fuck off.

I had one like this years ago, he'd also get pissed off if I gave money to charity (because HE could have had that money) and when my parents gave me some birthday money to spend on clothes (it was a long time ago) he thought he was entitled to have some of it spent on him.

Scorecard -

Category: Melon
Daughter - 1
Mother's Boyfriend - 0

Category: TV remote
Mother's Boyfriend - 1
Mother - 0

My husband wouldn't argue with our daughter over the last of the melon and he lives with us full time and pays all the bills. Sorry your partner doesn't sounds very entitled.

"he made me feel like I was massively over reacting".

Err it's you daughters home. She was eating melon you bought for her. He is a visitor that doesn't contribute to shopping. If anyone overreacted / overstepped it was him trying to assert his authority where he has no entitlement! Sounds like you need to nip this in the bud or his sense of entitlement will escalate.

When you go to his house does he make you delicious meals you don’t have to pay for, have all your treats in, and let you be in charge of the remote?

If he said 'Oh, I was hoping for some of that', fine, but it sounds like he told her off for eating something you had bought for her.
I'd tell him to buy his own melon and eat it at his house.

He'd probably not be coming back.

Read all OP's posts now.
Tell him to sling his hook.

My arse of an XP was like that. Entitled as

This is your home and you daughter's home.

I'd kick him into touch

Get your remote back! This is him on his best behaviour as a guest. Imagine how he'll be when he's not

Shove the remote up his arse as you kick him out the door. The cost of a new one will be nothing compared to the cost of staying with this sponging fucker.

I think that's unanimous OP