Boyfriends ex wife is warning me…

[Owlberry]

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other since March. He’s kind, lovely, we have great chemistry. The perfect package so far… He’s been separated from his ex wife for a couple years now. Their marriage sounds like it was pretty awful towards the end. He’s said how it was slightly abusive (mentally) and that he thinks she could be a narcissist. He’s also said that she thinks he’s the narcissist!

His ex wife has just sent me a message warning me that he’s incredibly manipulative and I should be careful. I’ve never met or spoken to her before this. That she’s just looking out for me because I’m young (I’m mid 20’s, they’re 30’s/early 40’s). He hasn’t shown any signs of narcissism that I know of so far but I’m aware they’re good at hiding it at first.

Based on her social media she doesn’t seem to be over him yet which fair enough, they were married for a decade. She’s constantly posting about their relationship issues even now, a couple years after they’ve separated.

Could this just be a hurting ex trying to get back at him? Should I listen to her advice? Not sure if I should even bring it up with him.

@Millymog
Are you ok! I’ve read all op messages and your reaction seems a bit extreme!

This whole thread is a bit bizarre- the level of info people want from the op is way over the top. And a lot of surmising going on!

Op. No one knows what the answer is, only proceed with caution as you said you would do. It’s really that simple.

Generally women do not warn other women. So to do so either means she’s probably batshit or he’s lying. But no one out on MN land knows for sure.

I agree, this thread is nuts. I include my contributions in that! Too much guessing and filling in the blanks. He's a psycho, she's a psycho. OP wants kids (stepkids?) but doesn't want kids (her own). Ex's message was a warning, now it's disappeared. There was barely any info, then suddenly an excessive amount of info. OP's relationship is perfect, but OP isn't sure of what to think. One poster tells OP she's not welcome on the whole of mumsnet - no one is sure why.

OP if you are confused, I'm not surprised! It sounds like the best thing is to just take it slowly and look out for (more) red flags. I suspect there is something else going on here that will eventually come to light. Sounds like you aren't wanting to move too fast, anyway, so however it goes, keep your head and you'll be okay. Good luck.