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Original poster

Child conference and pre proceedings

348 replies

Mumtobe2021x · 25/08/2021 21:43

So my unborn baby who is due any day now I’ve been told is being placed on a child protection plan as the social believe she is at risk of harm due to me being involved in “domestic violence with the father” anyway I’ve moved back in with my dad and the social worker me and her dad have so far signed a contact arrangement plan or the father to have supervised contact with the baby at my address without me being in the room. I’ve also been told we’re having an initial child protection conference meeting and a pre proceedings meeting where both me and babies dad will have a solicitor with us provided by social services. I’m just wondering if anyone’s got any experience with this. They haven’t really explained much about these meetings and what could happen I’ve asked her but she doesn’t really explain a lot so can’t someone explain what I can expect ? Does it mean they’re considering taking the baby away or is it a plan to keep her in with me but in a safe way? I just want to know the possible outcomes as I feel like I’m getting a lot of mixed messages

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumtobe2021x · 27/08/2021 12:03

@wewereliars

You just do not get it OP, and until you do your baby is at risk.

It is a massive and rare circumstance to have the social services potentially take your baby away. Are you not capable of understanding that?

It is happening because your baby is at risk from its father. Any responsible mother to be would not be tying themselves up in knots trying to keep that father in the picture. He would be gone.

You are not doing that, so the baby is at risk from you too, because of your poor judgment and selfishness.

If the baby was deemed to be at risk as much as you’re all making it out then surely they would of still gone ahead with the PLO. The fact they’re agreeing to supervised contact with the father clearly shows they don’t think he’s going to be that much of a risk as you’re all making him out to be. Even when you all say “it’s down to you they’re trying to see if you will make the right decisions to protect your baby” if they thought I was making the wrong decision and putting the baby at risk by allowing contact then they wouldn’t allow it. If ss thought him seeing her with supervised contact was a risk they wouldn’t allow it no matter what I say or they would at least try to fight against it
OP posts:
uncomfortablydumb53 · 27/08/2021 12:03

If you're telling the truth you have not grasped anything you have been told by SS Child protection plan is still very concerning and at the very least they will review This has gone too far to be dropped in one phone call I simply don't think you understand this

Pebbledashery · 27/08/2021 12:03

Read through ALL the threads you've posted. Repeatedly. Again and again. Nobody believes you. And if you can't even convince a bunch of strangers off the Internet.. Good luck with the authorities.

Original poster
Mumtobe2021x · 27/08/2021 12:06

@uncomfortablydumb53

If you're telling the truth you have not grasped anything you have been told by SS Child protection plan is still very concerning and at the very least they will review This has gone too far to be dropped in one phone call I simply don't think you understand this
Like I said, I haven’t said that it’s been dropped I’ve said there’s still child protection in place. But the PLO has been dropped
OP posts:
wewereliars · 27/08/2021 12:07

It does NOT show that they do not see he is a risk AT ALL.

You are seeing what you want to see.

They are toing the groundwork to take your baby off you permanently.

wewereliars · 27/08/2021 12:08

You are in the middle of that process, whether you choose to see it or not

MrsRobbieHart · 27/08/2021 12:10

OP I don’t think you actually understand what the SW has said to you OP.

Cleverpolly3 · 27/08/2021 12:11

You won’t get off a CPP with this attitude
That means plo is inevitable at some stage

DamnFoolWhoShotHim · 27/08/2021 12:15

Really don't understand why you'd come on here for advice, people give you advice then you still proceed to claim your ex is going to be an awesome father and your baby is safe.

Clearly not OP otherwise SS wouldn't be involved and trying to help you. So perhaps you should take this a bit more seriously because PLO is the last resort before this goes to court and they take your baby from you. So stop pretending ticking their boxes is going to help you. It won't! Safeguard your baby!

Pebbledashery · 27/08/2021 12:16

I actually think you just enjoy the drama of posting multiple threads that people get so invested in.

OpheliaOpholia · 27/08/2021 12:16

@Pebbledashery

Read through ALL the threads you've posted. Repeatedly. Again and again. Nobody believes you. And if you can't even convince a bunch of strangers off the Internet.. Good luck with the authorities.
@pebbledashery what's the backstory as this is the only thread I've seen so I'm not up to date?
Pebbledashery · 27/08/2021 12:16

All her other threads get deleted.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 27/08/2021 12:17

Do you actually understand what the child protection plan is?
Everything you say and do will be monitored and considered whether it's in your daughters interests HER emotional and physical needs both now and for her future are paramount. It's not about you or her father anymore
I'm speaking as a Mother who is painfully aware of this
They can also change their minds at every step. But you should know and understand all this

Lolabray · 27/08/2021 12:26

The aim of social care is to try and keep the child with their family: there will be expectations of you if it does go to conference. It doesn’t necessarily mean your child will be removed when born. It means you will have to stay away from the dad. My friend had bad dv when she was pregnant and it went to conference and her child lives with her and always has done since.

JaneKing75 · 27/08/2021 12:32

I'm sure I'm not the first to say it but I honestly think what SS want to hear out of your mouth via your solicitor is that the first hint of aggression from this man you will call the police and he will never see the child again.
My ex didn't do half of what yours did and it's damaged my kids permanently.
I completely agree that you need to proactively cancel the agreement and you should fight to keep him away from your baby until she's verbal at least and ideally in a contact centre. Parenting is a marathon not a sprint, he can miss out on the baby days due to his behaviour and spend another 13 years making it up to her - she won't remember nor care - I bet he isn't even in touch with you by the time she starts school.

forumdonkey · 27/08/2021 12:57

You're lip service and I don't believe for a second that in your mind you are wanting and expecting to continue a relationship with your abusive, violent 'ex'.

It's painful to read you defending him and not your baby. You keep saying that you know he'll never harm her - wtf he did when he became violent while you were carrying her. He didn't care a fuck about her then (or you) did he?

Please answer the previous poster (well spotted BTW) who asked was he drink driving? You say that it's only when he drinks but you were in a car park when he was violent to you and you tried to get into 'his car'.

You are also a danger to your baby. I'm sorry if you are offended by this but whilever you remain supportive of your abusive ex, you are at risk and so is dd

Hopingforabagofbuttons · 27/08/2021 12:57

I don’t believe a word of it. You received a phone call saying SS are not going ahead with the PLO because you are no longer in a relationship with him
You weren’t in a relationship with him before, according to you, so nothings changed, so can see no possible reason for them to change their stance. I think you’re lying.
I feel so sorry for your baby, a violent bully for a father and a mother who is so desperate to overlook his appalling behaviour she is willing to risk her newborns safety.
Most posters here are concerned for your baby, IF what you say is true SS are neglecting their duty of care to your daughter from the get go.

SpaceBethSmith · 27/08/2021 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

CherryCoco · 27/08/2021 13:36

You are very much a risk to your child.
If this is real, I do hope ss closely monitor you and it does sound as if this baby deserves a caring mother, so if your child gets removed from you, then ss have done a good job!

DumplingsAndStew · 27/08/2021 14:02

Does anyone have a link to previous threads, so we can pick up more of the background? Even if they are deleted, does anyone have the links? Were they under the same username?

SpaceBethSmith · 27/08/2021 14:10

OP changes username every time, but soon admits it’s her because it’s glaringly obvious

Pebbledashery · 27/08/2021 14:10

When she mentions the fire service you know it's the same poster.

Justmeandme19 · 27/08/2021 17:08

Can I ask do you feel connected to your unborn child? Were ss already involved somehow?
Something just doesn't add up.

DumplingsAndStew · 27/08/2021 17:37

The language the OP uses about her unborn child doesn't suggest a connection, does it? That was my thought when reading her posts.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 27/08/2021 17:59

I thought exactly the same, she is more concerned with her babies father
I feel it won't end well for her daughter sadly