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Original poster

Child conference and pre proceedings

348 replies

Mumtobe2021x · 25/08/2021 21:43

So my unborn baby who is due any day now I’ve been told is being placed on a child protection plan as the social believe she is at risk of harm due to me being involved in “domestic violence with the father” anyway I’ve moved back in with my dad and the social worker me and her dad have so far signed a contact arrangement plan or the father to have supervised contact with the baby at my address without me being in the room. I’ve also been told we’re having an initial child protection conference meeting and a pre proceedings meeting where both me and babies dad will have a solicitor with us provided by social services. I’m just wondering if anyone’s got any experience with this. They haven’t really explained much about these meetings and what could happen I’ve asked her but she doesn’t really explain a lot so can’t someone explain what I can expect ? Does it mean they’re considering taking the baby away or is it a plan to keep her in with me but in a safe way? I just want to know the possible outcomes as I feel like I’m getting a lot of mixed messages

OP posts:
Pebbledashery · 27/08/2021 10:42

[quote wiltshirelass1418]@Pebbledashery nowhere near as hard as waking up every day and knowing that you failed your children, but I have to carry on for them. At the end of the day I am still their mum.[/quote]
I can't even imagine how you must feel but you appear completely dedicated to getting them back.. I hope OP has read your post again and again x

wiltshirelass1418 · 27/08/2021 10:56

@Pebbledashery so do I! I've been watching these posts for a couple of days, but felt I had to say something because I have been there, I'm still there, and I'm going to be there for a long while yet.

All because of stupid decisions that I had ample opportunity to change.

Maui69 · 27/08/2021 11:28

Wake up OP. This thread is so frustrating to read. Put your baby first for goodness sake!!

Original poster
Mumtobe2021x · 27/08/2021 11:35

Well I’ve just had a call from sw and she told me we’re not longer having the plo meeting. She said they’ve agreed not to take it to court because I’m not with him in a relationship and because we’ve come to a contact plan she said they’re going to try and just work with us as a family. I’m still having the child protection plan but they’re not taking it to court.

OP posts:
wewereliars · 27/08/2021 11:40

Oh well that's all fine then Hmm

Original poster
Mumtobe2021x · 27/08/2021 11:42

@wewereliars

Oh well that's all fine then Hmm
I never said it’s all fine then but at least they’re not considering taking it to court to get them taken away they’ve agreed to work with us as a FAmily with the child protection plan so
OP posts:
Beefcurtains79 · 27/08/2021 11:43

Well then, good for you eh? You can slyly get back with your piece of shit ex (if he will have you) and put yourself and him first, and your baby last.
That’s clearly your plan.

Pebbledashery · 27/08/2021 11:43

You'll be back with him, give it a couple of weeks.

Pebbledashery · 27/08/2021 11:43

@Beefcurtains79

Well then, good for you eh? You can slyly get back with your piece of shit ex (if he will have you) and put yourself and him first, and your baby last. That’s clearly your plan.
Instantly what I thought.
wewereliars · 27/08/2021 11:44

OP your problem is not social services, it's your arsehole ex.

MrsRobbieHart · 27/08/2021 11:45

Let’s hope he films it again this time when you inevitably try and get back with him. SS really need to know what’s going on here.

teenmumandsowhat · 27/08/2021 11:45

Don’t misinterpret what they mean by “family” it doesn’t mean that you have permission to reform a relationship with the father.
And I would still get legal advice if i were you.

Original poster
Mumtobe2021x · 27/08/2021 11:47

@Beefcurtains79

Well then, good for you eh? You can slyly get back with your piece of shit ex (if he will have you) and put yourself and him first, and your baby last. That’s clearly your plan.
I’ve never once said I’m going back with my ex so? My baby has always been my priority and comes first .
OP posts:
Cleverpolly3 · 27/08/2021 11:47

A pre proceedings review and PLO is extremely serious
I am a bit suspicious that it can all just stop without even a review since it’s a statutory process

Not convinced myself
About this latest update and definitely not your posts

Cleverpolly3 · 27/08/2021 11:48

And certainly not just with a quick phone call
Hmm

Original poster
Mumtobe2021x · 27/08/2021 11:48

@teenmumandsowhat

Don’t misinterpret what they mean by “family” it doesn’t mean that you have permission to reform a relationship with the father. And I would still get legal advice if i were you.
I never once said about getting back with the father but obviously we are the babies family I’m her mom he’s her dad so we are classed as the babies family together or not
OP posts:
wewereliars · 27/08/2021 11:49

I don't believe this has been dropped and I hope it has not. OP you do not have the emotional maturity to be a parent. Simple as that.

Original poster
Mumtobe2021x · 27/08/2021 11:49

@Cleverpolly3

A pre proceedings review and PLO is extremely serious I am a bit suspicious that it can all just stop without even a review since it’s a statutory process

Not convinced myself
About this latest update and definitely not your posts

Well I never even got a letter or date to say it was happening but she just said to me there would be two meetings the child protection conference and the PLO , but they must not of organised the PLO and must of decided it’s not necessary now we have the plan in place
OP posts:
Original poster
Mumtobe2021x · 27/08/2021 11:50

@wewereliars

I don't believe this has been dropped and I hope it has not. OP you do not have the emotional maturity to be a parent. Simple as that.
I’ve not said it’s been completely dropped? There’s still a child protection plan to be put in place. But as long as it works then they’re not taking it to court?
OP posts:
Cleverpolly3 · 27/08/2021 11:55

There are strict timelines and correspondence checklists with PLO and CPP
You don’t get told over phone calls
The LA have deadlines to set forth concerns and they just sequentially follow due process to the letter
They don’t communicate in the way your describing here and have chats about it.

wewereliars · 27/08/2021 11:58

You just do not get it OP, and until you do your baby is at risk.

It is a massive and rare circumstance to have the social services potentially take your baby away. Are you not capable of understanding that?

It is happening because your baby is at risk from its father. Any responsible mother to be would not be tying themselves up in knots trying to keep that father in the picture. He would be gone.

You are not doing that, so the baby is at risk from you too, because of your poor judgment and selfishness.

Cleverpolly3 · 27/08/2021 11:58

At the very least the PLO review has to be held snd an agreed decision regarding next steps established.

Particularly when as in your case your behaviour demonstrates a reluctance to understand the ramifications of the entire situation and the way you’ve been so keen for this abusive man to continue an actual physical presence in your life and home following violent behaviour towards you during pregnancy.

Original poster
Mumtobe2021x · 27/08/2021 11:58

@Cleverpolly3

There are strict timelines and correspondence checklists with PLO and CPP You don’t get told over phone calls The LA have deadlines to set forth concerns and they just sequentially follow due process to the letter They don’t communicate in the way your describing here and have chats about it.
I don’t know what your exactly trying to get at. She’s called me and told me they’re not going ahead with PLO . I don’t know whether they’re supposed to do it over ohone call or not but that’s what they’ve done so I don’t really know what you want me to say
OP posts:
Cleverpolly3 · 27/08/2021 12:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

kitkatsky · 27/08/2021 12:00

@wewereliars

You just do not get it OP, and until you do your baby is at risk.

It is a massive and rare circumstance to have the social services potentially take your baby away. Are you not capable of understanding that?

It is happening because your baby is at risk from its father. Any responsible mother to be would not be tying themselves up in knots trying to keep that father in the picture. He would be gone.

You are not doing that, so the baby is at risk from you too, because of your poor judgment and selfishness.

The baby is also equally at risk from her mother. OP is clueless and her responses are extremely worrying
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