Dating Thread 211 - heading into to Autumn fueled by possibilities

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

My view on the gym.. is like anything in life you have to try different things and find out what you enjoy by trial and error. For new beginners and anyone who’s not been active in a while, doesnt know what theyre doing and likes a group setting, I would join a gym with classes and get on a ‘legs bums and tums’ class, as it’s generally all ladies and a nice atmosphere. There are other good classes such as spinning (basically bikes fixed in place with an instructor telling you to go fast/slow down etc). Personally Im into weights and regularly go to pump classes, where theres an instructor at the front telling you when to work all your different muscles. I find the classes really good and if you dont have a load of motivation then them telling you is the best thing. There’s also ones like circuits which is good and fun too.
Then when you get more advanced and get more confident you can go into the gym and use the machines. They don’t interest me much though I find it a bit dull and soulless.
Anyone can start running for free… there are lots of apps ‘couch to 5k’. But I love the social aspect of the gym myself… not necessarily making new friends but just being around other people all there for the same thing.
And dont worry about age or what you look like. At my pump class yesterday there was a lady in there who must have been nearly 70!! I was so impressed!!
If anyone wants any thoughts/advice pm me, I am not an expert but have been sporty/active all my life and happy to help anyone who needs any friendly general advice 🏋🏻‍♀️

Whoops sorry that was long 🤭

@FireandBrimstone it's her life I guess I'll just decline if she wants to bring him again.

I'm going to gym this morning. Utterly love it. Have so many friends there. Makes me feel good etc

Glad to see all the gym posts

Wrong emoji

DD and I joined a gym yesterday too! It's obviously in the air. I just want access to a pool and she wants something different to do at the weekends as due to academic pressure and timing she's had to give up a few activities.

I am thinking seriously about selling my horse or putting him out on loan whilst she gets through GCSEs. They're not for another two years but she needs all the support she can get and the horse takes up a lot of my time 😞

On the plus side, it would free up some money and she and I would spend more ☺️time together

@ActonSquirrel

So friend I spoke up earlier in the thread: the one who commented on me not really wanting a relationship as I don't seem to try. The reality is I wouldn't settle for a guy like hers.

We met last night and she said he might come. I hate when women do that. It changes the dynamics. He came along later after a few calls from her to him and her looking pissed off.

He was properly drunk to the extent he was slurring words and saying stupid things. He drank even more there. Out of work and doing someone other dodgy thing to earn money.

I just went along with it and was polite as actually I've met him lots. She looked embarrassed though

Why oh why oh why ! I'd rather be single than have a guy drunk like that. I wouldn't want to be in bed with them or with them.

That sounds grim. Poor woman. Of course now she's said that to you she'll find it really hard to admit to any problems in her relationship... and it's often that 'saving face' attitude or shame that keeps us in these bad situations 😞

@Shayelle2009 did you post about your dad! Mine is my hero too! He’a been the biggest support to me and my son over the years. My mum’s been more ‘you got yourself into this mess. So suck it up’ not what you want to hear when you feel lonely/stuck….
Totally echo the gym discussion although gym’s here are insanely overpriced and i’d never be able to go regularly so i opted for a skipping rope, weights an my son lent me his ikea mat. It’s a lot of fun in the morning before tackling my emails to bounce around for a while. I’m super fortunate to have a spare room(total tip but spacey) I look up lost workouts on pinterest they have an amazing mix. Also BIG bonus is your own tunes!!!!
@bangheadhere40 sorry to hear the dates were a bust. But if you aren’t feeling it you can’t force yourself too. Any others lined up?

So MrE was here last night and it was a lot of fun, he’s really so nice to be with. Sex feels good with him too. It’s just the excitement that seems to be missing. But even i don’t know what i mean by saying that. I do think i have feelings for him, i’m just not sure how strong these are. Hmmm and i got a really nice morning message from Magnet-man which hasn’t helped in me settling into seeing where things could go with MrE. Very good job Magnet-man is coded in my phone. I feel very mean at the minute being dishonest. I’ve never been like this.

That sounds grim. Poor woman. Of course now she's said that to you she'll find it really hard to admit to any problems in her relationship... and it's often that 'saving face' attitude or shame that keeps us in these bad situations

Well exactly. She was honest about why they broke up again the last time. Now it's all swept under the carpet !

@Shayelle2009 great post on gyms. I wouldn't mind going to one now but literally no time with work and small children. The social aspect would really draw me in.

@ActonSquirrel I think your friend probably means well with you however no relationship is perfect I would say. I don't think people nowadays in relationships realise how hard it is so they make judgements. All my couple friends moan about their partners!

How's everyone's weekend looking? My big haircut today, gulp!

Are you getting a bit change eesha? I always want to change my hair but chicken out at the last minute!

Big...not bit.

Made a new thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4340175-Dating-thread-212-more-milk-tray-less-flakes?watched=1

@Eesha enjoy the pamper session!

@BelladiMamma that must be such a tough decision..

@Naimee87 yeah totally adore my dad 💕

Enjoy getting your hair done @Eesha. I love getting my hair cut and coloured, it always gives me a massive boost. I hope it makes you feel really good 😊

I'm feeling inspired to get back into yoga by reading all the gym posts. I stopped IRL at the start of Covid and am relying on Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube ever since. She's pretty good but I definitely miss the social aspect. I've tried different gyms in the past but they never worked for me.

@ActonSquirrel yes, being single is so much better than compromising. I really can't do drunk people so would have struggled to stay around your friend and her partner.

Have a great weekend all of you, whatever you're up to 😁

I know exercise is more important the older you get, I need bone strength and I need cardiac health

This is why I'm doing it. Keep active, keep on top of my weight. The machine weighed me at 68kg yesterday and I'm 5'6" so BMI 24 which I'm happy with.

I hate group exercise, can't bear being shouted at to do things. I can't run, not anyone can, my physique doesn't allow it.

And there's no social aspect at my gym, I'm not sure what that means? There was one guy there yesterday, doing stuff on machines, I didn't even look at him let alone speak to him.

And no, I've never got exercise endorphins either.

But here we are, with a year's gym membership about to be paid off from my credit card.