Dating Thread 211 - heading into to Autumn fueled by possibilities

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Checking in 🙂

Would you bother wishing Mr Penpal happy birthday?

He has been talking to me again...

[quote SpringlikeBunk]**@Walkingalot* and @Shayelle2009*

Yeh definitely focussing on grounding emotionally over the next few months - exercise, have switched up my clothing and make-up routine as it hasn't changed in a while, new social groups when I move (I don't want "intense new besties" just "ok people for a chat or coffee").

So I can hit the dating scene closer to Xmas feeling confident and relaxed.

One issue with post-lockdown dating and app meeting is everyone seems a bit frazzled and desperate and "in flux" (me included) so I'd like to have a good routine and meet others in a similar situation.[/quote]
I was coming here to ask similar - what are the apps like coming into Autumn? Although granted everyone is a bit frazzled as you say so I know it's not a typical year.

@Shayelle2009

Yeah *@SpringlikeBunk* I find the loneliness comes and goes, with not always a rhyme nor reason for it, sometimes I love being free and single, sometimes it hurts me… little things can trigger that such as seeing lots of happy families or couples together. Other times I love it. It’s an unpredictable one! 🙂

@Shayelle2009 I've never felt more alone than I did in the last couple of years of my marriage. I do miss coming home to someone, talking about how your day has been, I want someone I can go for a walk with then maybe lunch. Someone I can argue with about what colour to paint the bedroom, someone I can take to my friends parties. I went to a friend's to watch the football, their friends were there with their partners and kids and I thought this is what I want and I had a massive pang of regret and loneliness.

When Computer Geek told me what he did, I wanted to shake him. He had everything that I had wanted, he had the family, the house, the friends, the lifestyle but he blew it by cheating. He had everything and yet he still wasn't happy so sometimes I don't think it's all it's cracked up to be either.

Oh cool @VanGoghsDog that sounds like loads of fun! The weather’s looking good too, a bit of sunshine really helps doesn’t it? Brighton will be buzzing this weekend!

I have actually stopped drinking completely at the minute which for me is a big achievement as I’ve had an issue with alcohol for a number of years.. feel quite proud of myself.

@SpringlikeBunk love your plan going forward there and it makes you feel like a fresh new woman giving the wardrobe and make up a revamp. I had my long hair cut into a short bob recently and its made me feel amazing.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards good luck with your date with mr gambit!

@Getbehindme different season, same old dicks lol..

Hey @Isitreallyme177 I can understand that evening at your friends must have really brought those feelings up. It’s hard sometimes isn’t it? A lot of my oldest friends are all married with kids but all my friends in recent years are single ladies all going through the same things. It’s lovely you’re still pals with your ex that must be a comfort at times? 💗

Another schoolboy error for the profile writers to avoid. If you link your Instagram, try to make sure it isn't filled with bitter crap about your ex

😱😱😱

[quote Shayelle2009]@Getbehindme different season, same old dicks lol..[/quote]
Haha!

I just wonder if after the busy summer, there's an influx and then, the Christmas 'rush'.

@Isitreallyme177 I don't miss arguing with my husband about the colour of the walls, it's one of my greatest delights being separated is that I can do as I please! But I get what you're saying. FWIW my ex threw it all away too, so being on Tinder with all these married guys profiles talking about how the spark has died makes me want to message them to tell them to grow some bollocks and set their poor wives free from the misery.

@Shayelle2009 I stopped drinking 3 years ago, best thing I ever did.

@SpringlikeBunk I can't wait til the charity shops start taking donations again. I have so many clothes that remind me of my ex or that he bought me, and I just don't want them anymore! There are too many to eBay although I have done the odd accessory eg handbag etc

My style has gone very low fi now. If I wear high heels it's more likely to be with jeans these days or in the bedroom with fancy underwear 😂😂😂

@Getbehindme seriously there are married guys on there openly saying that 🤮

Love that some of us will be in Brighton this weekend. 💖💖💖

In a very wierd moment and surely evidence that my life on MN has surely become more real to me than life itself ...

I can't remember LawyerFlake's real name 😂😂😂

To think that we were in touch from March through to just a couple of weeks ago and he dropped that stuff off at A&E and that for about 6 weeks he sent me that incredibly frustrating'night' 'morning' text message and asked me out twice and flaked on me twice ...I literally can't remember his name.

Is that concussion do you think or just how dull our interaction was?! 😂😂😂

Oooh I have 2/3 single male friends in Brighton.

Could do the first Mumsnet spied dating event 😂

*speed

Reading but I guess my messed up, fab life isn't really classed as dating anymore.

@cravingthelook

Reading but I guess my messed up, fab life isn't really classed as dating anymore.

Awww 🥰

Update please pretty please 💖

@Getbehindme I encountered some of them on Tinder, it's like leave the poor woman so she can get someone who wants to be with her. In fact I told one of them exactly what I thought and unmatched. He said he couldn't leave blah blah blah. I had one who I was chatting to who was almost proud that he had cheated,he said it just happened, there was no attention in their marriage etc. I know Computer Geek cheated but he was going through something much deeper than boredom (I did tell him it doesn't excuse what he did) and seemed genuinely sorry that he had, the guilt was eating away at him. Maybe that's why I stuck around for so long because he needed someone to talk to and I found I couldn't walk away.

@Shayelle2009 I'm now the single one and all my friends have partners and kids. How times have changed. I only seem to know partnered up people so night's out are few and far between. So you are quite lucky in that respect.

My ex can be a pain in the arse sometimes but at least I have someone who is going through what I'm going through and I can bounce ideas off. He thinks I should ask Mr Cricket round for dinner now I have my flat to myself🤨 he thinks the friends thing is bollocks too, that he must like me to still want me in his life and to still be talking to me as he could easily block and ignore. Think I'll swerve on the dinner advice for now though.😂

@ActonSquirrel

Would you bother wishing Mr Penpal happy birthday?

He has been talking to me again...

Yes, of course. It can't hurt if you're chatting. Just don't raise your expectations.

@VanGoghsDog he wished me happy birthday this year I guess.

He texted me nearly midnight first and said 7 mins until your birthday. And then did it again after midnight

@BelladiMamma

Oooh I have 2/3 single male friends in Brighton.

Could do the first Mumsnet spied dating event 😂

Two thirds of a man is no use to me, single or otherwise!

@VanGoghsDog 😂😂😂

@VanGoghsDog @BelladiMamma depends on what 2/3 is present I guess! 😁

Speed/slow dating Brighton sounds intriguing 🙂
Normal speed dating doesn’t appeal to me really, I don’t know why. Not sure I’d be confident for it as I’m quite pernickety about who I’m able to chat to 😂

Bella thats’s great you don’t remember his name! It’s good to forget about flakes quickly.

@BelladiMamma Heart Foundation in HH is taking donations x

So MrWG is now sending me links to cottages we could book for the Nov dates if we don't go to house sit for my sister. All to my specification of being secluded, nice walks, not more than four hours drive away and with a log burner/fire.

I have added new requirements - comfy sofa/s (why do so many have mean looking little sofas?), shower and king size bed.

I'm kind of hoping my sister doesn't go away now so we can go to one of those instead!

But, this is Very Keen of him I think! Also doesn't fit the "just casual" tag really.

New thread! Are on one a week at this stage?

Update from me: Had a hot date last night with Mr Lumberjack and it was amazing 😍 He is just the loveliest man, and he is not afraid to be open showing me he likes me. Had already thought of our next date throwing out ideas of what we can do,
I have never dated anyone who expressed any desire to see me beyond the current date and I was always last minute wondering if we would be seeing each other again.
I’m just going to enjoy it and I am so pleased to be having an experience without all the angst and wondering for a change - long may it last!