My husband is a high functioning alcoholic. He always liked a drink. We met when I was in my early 20s and we used to have a very active social life mostly revolving around the pub. I didn't see any problem with that at the time and we would only ever go out at a weekend. Things have gotten progressively worse. We are now in our late 30s/ early 40s. We have 2 young DC and my husband holds down a high pressured job. There are other issues in his family life too. He drinks to cope with stress. He still doesn't drink during the week and usually manages to keep his drinking at weekends down to 2 bootles of wine and a few beers (still a lot in my opinion, I'm not a big drinker). He has had instances where he would go on a week long bender and just drink from morning to night. So far he's been hospitalised twice, once for severe dehydration the other because he hurt himself whilst drunk (fell).
At the start of the year, after yet another drunken Christmas, I contacted a solicitor to discuss divorce. My husband made promises to change. I felt I owed it to the kids to try. He stopped drinking, started therapy and for a few months life was great. I fell back in love with him. The kids, especially our eldest were benefiting from having an involved dad and we were happy.
I finally agreed to sell our house and look for something bigger. Something he's wanted to do for ages but I was reluctant to do due to the situation. We've accepted an offer on our house but haven't actually completed or found anywhere to move to yet. The kids are excited about moving to a bigger house.
That pipe dream has burst. H is currently asleep on the sofa next to me after having been drinking for the last 2 days. He had a massive go at me earlier when I asked him to confirm plans we had for tomorrow.
He had another fall off the wagon 3 weeks ago where he was drinking for 5 days, missing work in the process.
I'm done and he needs to go. I feel so stupid for falling for his lies again and again. It's affecting our DC, it's affecting me, it's no way to live. Even when he's sober, I'm constantly on edge.
I need someone to keep pushing me to leave. He'll sober up, say all the right things, may even do them for a bit but it won't be long before the house of cards falls down again.
I think I'm scared of how hard it will be. The kids don't fully understand, they will be heart broken. The big house they've been imagining is going to be a much smaller house as that's all I'll be able to afford. We'll be OK financially but no where near as comfortable as now. I just keep coming up with excuses.
Sorry this is long and I'm rambling. Just getting this down on "paper". Thank you for reading if you're still here.