Friends late father seduced me when young

[Havetotsell]

Well it’s that really.

My old school friends father passed away recently she worships him but when we were younger he seduced me and took my virginity.

I didn’t feel like it was abuse atall. I was 15 thought I was mature and well when he showed interest I didn’t say no.

It all happened on a hot summers day and I popped over to her house and she was got with her mum.

When I knocked on the door her father came from the side of the house and said they were out and did I want. Drink as they should be back soon . Clearly he knew they would not be.

We chatted and flirted . I enjoyed the attention and well I that was the first time

Should I tell her as I feel very guilty and whilst I thought I was grown up clearly he shouldn’t have.

Welcome thoughts.

[quote Bluntness100]@Candydreamer. You’re projecting and putting your own spin on this. Stating how the op should feel or what she’s doing. You need to read what she’s writing. Actually listen to her.

The question of whether this is actually about what he did or if it’s about trying to hurt her “friend” is a key one. Wading in to answer for her based on generalisation is poor form.[/quote]
you said it was curious. I said why I dont think its curious at all that people who are abused do not always realise the severity of it and why the OP may have dressed the situation up the way she has in her original post.

OP has already said in follow up posts she was finding it hard to listen to her friend talking about what a great man he was. like I said, it's not surprising at all that this has triggered some kind of emotion.

I would gently suggest that by calling it ‘seduction’ you haven’t processed it thoroughly and could benefit from counselling. It wasn’t seduction, you were groomed.

It must be horrible hearing all the gushing about how great he was. Definitely talk through your anger and frustration, but not with your grieving friend. She’s done nothing wrong and it would destroy the friendship as well as cause so much distress.

@GreatAuntEmily

I'm not sure how old you are now but when I was young having a sexual relationship with someone reflected more on the female than the male. So a 15 year old having sex with an older man would be a slut - he would be nudge nudge making the most of an opportunity. So I don't think there would be automatic sympathy for you across the board.

And you're still peddling that victim-blaming narrative? Shame on you