Dating thread 210 - thwarted hearts, fresh starts

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

[quote Shayelle2009]@BelladiMamma maybe he's had quite a few rejections and is just sick of going through it.. he obviously thinks you're lovely!![/quote]
If that is the case I just wish he'd realise I've had loads of rejections too 😞... it's dating life isn't it

I think tinder and bumble are owned by the same company, I feel like they note ip addresses that delete the app too regularly and ban it 😂😂😟

I received a msg this morning - apologising that his phone died, he forgot his charger, he didn't get my msg and he thought I'd forgot! . He knows it's over as I'd already sent a 'forget it' msg. Feel like a fool as I've told people about him incl my DM and DS.
BelladiMamma - agree with Hairy on this but if it continues after you meet then that's another story.

@BelladiMamma yeah for sure maybe he’s wobbly mentally at the mo, I felt like that last week.. not in a good place.. if you meet someone you like it can be a bit scary I guess..even more so if you're already feeling wobbly..

It’s not good enough @Walkingalot, you said he’s already dicked you around once? And he’d been online you saw? How did he manage that with no battery?
Smells of bs to me..

@Walkingalot, sorry I can’t remember if this was your first date - although I don’t think it was? You’ve got 2 options depending on how you feel about him. No one likes to feel that they are being messed around or the other person isn’t interested. The bit that slightly doesn’t add up is that you could see he had been online after you had sent the message. Have you deleted your chat with him ? Was this WhatsApp? You can look at when he read the message if you still have it there and that might give you a little more information ? If he read it at 8pm for example he could have messaged then. If he read it this morning then where has he been with no charger all night ?

[quote Heartbeats0708]**@BelladiMamma* I'd have that amber flagged I think, it is nerve wracking to meet someone new especially if you're into them, but it can get exhausting to constantly need to reassure someone that you like them and they're "good enough" whatever that means. Really good point by @HairyArsedMan* though that he could have sensed the pulling back.
I'd keep it vague too @Languidleopard something like "can't have a late one with DD at home" but not put a time on it. A late one can be open to interpretation and depend how you get on. Good luck!
Great update @Dirtyduck!
Sounds odd @Shayelle2009 is it worth reinstalling or is there something amiss in your settings?[/quote]
Personally think it's a little harsh to Amber flag it they've only asked twice before the first meeting.

I've been in the position where an ex made me feel undesirable for years, so if someone else needs reassuring I can relate and if I liked them wouldn't be bothered by it at first. I'd just take it as a sign they fancy you. Maybe if it continues after the first few dates I'd start to worry.

They're not owned by the same company @Shayelle2009. Bumble is the rare independent. I think Match group own a lot - incl, Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Hinge and Match (of course).

If you haven't been on for a while, you get exposed to everyone new that hasn't seen your profile, so collect matches from that pool. Then once you've been shown to everyone the matches come at a trickle related to new people joining and some people getting to go around the pool again.

I used to get a problem with Bumble - When I signed up for premium I wouldn't get any swipes at all on the App, but if I signed in via desktop, suddenly a dozen blokes appeared on my beeline - I tried fiddling with the App settings, but could never get it to work properly, I always had to sign in on my desktop to see who swiped on me.

Shayelle2009 - I sent a msg at 5.15 and then saw he was 'on line' at 5.30 but hadn't read my msg.
Onesmallstep67 - He often stays on his boat so his signal can be variable. Can't believe he didn't have a spare charger there or in his car. It's BS. Been seeing him approx 1 mth. I'm not even going to reply to his last msg.

@Dirtyduck when you sign in on the desktop your location is often inaccurate (but inaccurate in the same way every time) and Bumble did this thing where it only showed you people in your beeline that fit your preferences on distance so you may have accidentally brought them into your range. Did it seem like the ones in your beeline were from further away ?

[quote HairyArsedMan]@Dirtyduck when you sign in on the desktop your location is often inaccurate (but inaccurate in the same way every time) and Bumble did this thing where it only showed you people in your beeline that fit your preferences on distance so you may have accidentally brought them into your range. Did it seem like the ones in your beeline were from further away ?[/quote]
No, it would be a mix of some far away, but mostly very local ones - I never got any swipes on the App in the whole year I was on it, but I would get a few every time I logged into the desktop that would be "waiting for me" and they would then appear on the App. I wondered if my App/phone was blocking my location in some way, but I changed all the settings I could see.

Thanks @HairyArsedMan and @Dirtyduck, I’ve deleted it for now, think I’ll have a few weeks app break again. 💗

@Shayelle2009

I think tinder and bumble are owned by the same company, I feel like they note ip addresses that delete the app too regularly and ban it 😂😂😟

I read that bumble is owned by the ex gf of the tinder founder

@DirtyDuck Hmm yes could have been the underlying phone location reporting too. Makes sense as that's built into the phone and the app settings changes would then be irrelevant (as you found).

@Shayelle2009 @bopbopbopbop
I've sent him three reassuring messages since he sent that one. He's read them but hasn't answered. Btw two of them were also letting him know that I was nervous and then making a joke out of my nerves, so I hope he realises I'm genuine.

I just can't cope with another BeardFlake situation, we seemed to make each other miserable in the end

Damn it why does Mr Cricket have to be so dashingly handsome🤦‍♀️🙈, I'd even ignore the hairy chest(I'm not really one for hairy chests).

I was going to message him but he is obviously flying today as the last time he was on WhatsApp was some unearthly hour this morning (think 2.30am kind of time) and he isn't one for late night WhatsApping. I shall leave what I want to ask him until later, as it can wait. He did tell me on Sunday he was flying this week after all.

But every time I open WhatsApp I see his rather handsome face staring back (he was the 2nd to last person to message me on there so is at the top of my list). His new profile picture is rather yummy. 🤦‍♀️🤣

I so do love it when my head is in a good place. I'm not constantly worrying why he hasn't replied and whether I've done something (friendship shouldn't be stressful after all). Getting rid of my lodger(and her constant negative attitude) has been the best thing to happen in a while. I'm also out tomorrow seeing a friend I haven't seen since March last year and I'm so excited. I've picked what I'm eating already but have no idea what to wear because I've not been out out in almost a year. 🤣

@Isitreallyme177

Damn it why does Mr Cricket have to be so dashingly handsome🤦‍♀️🙈, I'd even ignore the hairy chest(I'm not really one for hairy chests).

I was going to message him but he is obviously flying today as the last time he was on WhatsApp was some unearthly hour this morning (think 2.30am kind of time) and he isn't one for late night WhatsApping. I shall leave what I want to ask him until later, as it can wait. He did tell me on Sunday he was flying this week after all.

But every time I open WhatsApp I see his rather handsome face staring back (he was the 2nd to last person to message me on there so is at the top of my list). His new profile picture is rather yummy. 🤦‍♀️🤣

I so do love it when my head is in a good place. I'm not constantly worrying why he hasn't replied and whether I've done something (friendship shouldn't be stressful after all). Getting rid of my lodger(and her constant negative attitude) has been the best thing to happen in a while. I'm also out tomorrow seeing a friend I haven't seen since March last year and I'm so excited. I've picked what I'm eating already but have no idea what to wear because I've not been out out in almost a year. 🤣

Archive that tempting profile photo!

Totally get where you're coming from @bopbopbopbop and i think most of us have been there, especially with OLD. I suppose I was reflecting on my own experience of being with someone who didn't feel "worthy" and it was hard work! All depends on the individual tone maybe?
Mr D is very complimentary and often tells me he feels lucky to have found me which is lovely, and doesn't add on the self deprecation and it makes the difference because I too feel lucky and he's hot
Not sure if I've explained that well, but hopefully you get the idea!

@Shayelle2009

I think tinder and bumble are owned by the same company, I feel like they note ip addresses that delete the app too regularly and ban it 😂😂😟

That would be a weird business model!

@Isitreallyme177 step away from the profile photo! 🙂

Spoke to Mr Gambit briefly yesterday and today. I'm hoping to catch up with him this weekend and try to get a time and date for our date.

I think It's going to be a bit difficult because I start back to college on the 8th Sept, and he starts back to work himself at the beginning of the month. He's a English teacher at a secondary school, so it's going to get busy with him. We'll make it work though. We've spent enough time being apart!

I'm a bit worried about him as well, because he hasn't had his second COVID jab yet, which I'm surprised about. He had COVID last year and it was quite bad for him. iI'm worried about him being at risk and I just want him to be safe. ❤️

I had a lovely time last night at book club, we're going to get back to face to face meetings now, which is brilliant ❤️

I had to delete my old iron's profile on WA, I would just pathetically stare at it and also knowing he's online all the time but not talking to me. God - I hate WA 😀

@bangheadhere40

I had to delete my old iron's profile on WA, I would just pathetically stare at it and also knowing he's online all the time but not talking to me. God - I hate WA 😀

I do that with Mr TG sometimes- and his photo isn’t even of him not ready to delete him yet so he is archived for now!

Haha I do actually have to speak to him, he offered me the use of his tent and i need to arrange that. His last profile picture was from a distance and this one he just looks so handsome as he has had a haircut. We're all good anyway, we smoothed out the issues the other week (he was busy, stressed, and takes himself off for a bit, I was stressed, my anxiety was up and worrying about things that weren't there. Two typical Scorpios).

I need his tent, it has 3 bedrooms and you can stand up in it!😂😂

@Isitreallyme177

Haha I do actually have to speak to him, he offered me the use of his tent and i need to arrange that. His last profile picture was from a distance and this one he just looks so handsome as he has had a haircut. We're all good anyway, we smoothed out the issues the other week (he was busy, stressed, and takes himself off for a bit, I was stressed, my anxiety was up and worrying about things that weren't there. Two typical Scorpios).

I need his tent, it has 3 bedrooms and you can stand up in it!😂😂

@Isitreallyme177 lovely to hear that you both have sorted things out ❤️