Dating thread 210 - thwarted hearts, fresh starts

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Slothmomma

Thanks for new thread

I'm still over thinking whether I've made the right decision about MrHair but its done now so need to move on. Have the kids this week so they will keep me busy and hopefully take my mind off things

It's a tricky one. I knew it was the right thing to do with MrBear because he was starting to annoy me and getting a weeny bit controlling so it was biiii 👋🏻 from me

I'm thinking that I won't have any date zero's this week as MrIrish has gone very quiet as has MrItaly. The only one that still wants to meet is MissGinger and I've friend zoned her.

I give up 🤦🏻‍♀️

@SortingItOut your post made me fill up. I know exactly what you mean. My ex was horrible at parties and in the end we just wouldn’t go. I haven’t socialised as a couple in over a decade save the odd wedding.

Sending 💕💕 to all those who had unsociable exes.

@Shuffleuplove I think what upset me the most was that my family had noticed what was going on and I thought I'd done so well to hide it.

Too be fair since we've split so many people have said how much happier I am, even people who didn't know about the split mentioned my happiness.
Clearly my misery was etched on my face☹😭

@SortingItOut maybe it’s more that you’re glowing now!

@Shuffleuplove @SortingItOut joining that group. I've just had the ex on the doorstep dropping off DD and managing to poison the atmosphere and her excitement about being in a play this weekend, in about 3 words. So happy I don't live with that anymore. I almost enjoy him doing the drop off just so that I can wave goodbye 👋🏻 to him.

@BelladiMamma Your poor daughter, thank god she has a positive mum🤗
Love the goodbye😂

When my ex was being a dick recently and chasing after a bit of skirt (my cousin of all people🤮) he treated our daughter appallingly (DD is 18) and I apologised to her for giving her the dad she has, she saw the funny side and we had a good laugh 😂

He didn't message about her Alevels as he 'was waiting for her to message him'🤬
You're a fecking adult and parent, message her first.

Honestly I wonder why I picked him....

Wahey @troobleflooble that's great!
Also great with a tinge of sad @SortingItOut I can relate too. My exh was "good" at events but wore me down so much I was a shell. Many people commented on the difference in me post-split, which although is nice to hear, it is awful that we were so unhappy for so long to the extent that others noticed it. Although in my case, I didn't hide it, I just didn't realise what a shadow to him I'd become until I stepped out on my own.

[quote SortingItOut]@BelladiMamma Your poor daughter, thank god she has a positive mum🤗
Love the goodbye😂

When my ex was being a dick recently and chasing after a bit of skirt (my cousin of all people🤮) he treated our daughter appallingly (DD is 18) and I apologised to her for giving her the dad she has, she saw the funny side and we had a good laugh 😂

He didn't message about her Alevels as he 'was waiting for her to message him'🤬
You're a fecking adult and parent, message her first.

Honestly I wonder why I picked him....[/quote]
We were all young and naive! And they were opportunistic feckers who knew a good thing when they saw it.

Seems like we aren't alone @Heartbeats0708 @SortingItOut @Shuffleuplove

I'm fairly sure this is why I'm single and not about to change it for just anyone. I've tasted freedom and it feels good!

The ex got with the first gullible younger woman he met. Sometimes I feel sorry for her but then again this is her second recently divorced man she's got with so .... her lookout!

Right having postponed MissChelsea I've received nothing from MrIrish! Jeez am I going to have to rename him IrishFlake? Do I message him about tomorrow? Aaargh so hate this

Right I've messaged him. Just can't be arsed second guessing people!

MrDJ has become very active on my social media, liking and commenting on my posts. We do have friends in common ... I'd sent him my number and said I'd be in touch this week. But having sent him my number and him being on my socials, surely he could just DM me and suggest a date? 🤷🏻‍♀️

And I've messaged MrDJ

And that is going to be it for now. Too much bloody chasing up with people

@Shayelle2009 I hear you about the boredom of working from home, I split my day up by going to the gym. For now though I'm enjoying having the place to myself after my mood hoover lodger moved out. It feels like a cloud has been lifted, there's no bitching, no moaning, just me and the cat.

Thank the lord. MrDJ has suggested a date after I got fed up of the back and forth on DM's and all the bloody 😍😘💋

🤦🏻‍♀️

Hey MrDJ well done! A relief I’m sure!

Mr. Retro, who is incredibly gorgeous has been messaging this arvo. He can’t spell.

@Shuffleuplove

Hey MrDJ well done! A relief I’m sure!

Mr. Retro, who is incredibly gorgeous has been messaging this arvo. He can’t spell.

Ooh is English his first language?

Ooh I can't be doing with irons who can't spell...!

My exh also didn't really socialise due to his asd. On the plus side it meant that we didn't really have couple friends - so I haven't lost any friends through the divorce. Did Mr K understand why you were upset @SortingItOut?

Mr runner has gone a bit quiet and I can't shake the feeling that he'll disappear... Nothing I can do though, so will just try to sit with that feeling.

Gosh this thread moved fast! I've met a guy off tinder and we are looking at a fwb situation which is all I'm after just now. But he's now let me down twice at the last minute! You can imagine the frustration!!!

The problem is he is soooo hot 🔥 so I find myself giving him another chance! How do I stop this??? If a friend of mine had this I'd ne telling her to get him in the bin.

@Isitreallyme177 we’re like two peas in a pod 🤣 live alone wfh, go to gym, cat. Also both love ibiza 😁 I did try and rent a room to a lodger but but it was a complete disaster and she’d moved out within a month. Never again!!!

@BelladiMamma glad DJ has suggested a meet up! @Misty9 hope MrRunner’s not done a runner! @Slothmomma hope you’re ok, it’s natural to feel sad and reflective after a break up.. time will tell if it’s meant to be or not x

A quick update from me. Finally managed to find a time to message that worked for both me and my one and only iron. I'm going to call him Mr Catlover as he talked about his cat.

It felt a bit like hard work at first but eventually it got going. If I sound a bit underwhelmed it's because I am. He has an interesting job, writes well and replies promptly, but I'm picking up an undercurrent of low self esteem and gloominess which is not that alluring.

Anyway, I've asked him if he wants to meet for a coffee, explaining that I'm not big on long text exchanges. He's got his kids hor the next couple of weeks so is going to come back to me. I'll leave the ball in his court and see what happens.

I'm not looking for the life and soul of the party, rather soneone who is happy with who they are and approaches life with optimism. I'm hoping he's just shy and not very good at texting 😕

I've been swiping right quite a lot but still zero matches from Bumble for me.

@Shayelle2009 thank you, I'm ok, still sad but have to own my decision. Had a nice day with kids and we have plans tomorrow also so ill stay busy

Has anyone had it where the tinder app looks like it hasnt downloaded properly on the homescreen? The app itself seems to be working but its not looking right… hatched lines instead of the normal red app. Wondering if they’ve banned me because I’ve deleted it a thousand times 😂

@Slothmomma hugs 💗 breakups are so horrible aren't they.

@Languidleopard gloomy and slow to meet - nah