Dating thread 210 - thwarted hearts, fresh starts

[Shayelle2009]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@DustyMuse

Shiffleuplove, hello ! Each of the five times the waitress came to out table (it was a Saturday evening and the restaurant was teeming with people) he would be really demanding and at times verging on rude. It was a fast food Lebanese place and the treatment he was asking for was just not fitting. I felt so uncomfortable being with him. I tried to appease him and compensated by being extra kind with her but I just saw an arrogant prick in him. And that was that. I tried to talk to him in the car afterwards but he became cold and kept nitpicking my choice of words; no kindness and affection whereas prior to this he'd been generous and loving.

Oh my god. How awful. Delete, block, everything ... just RUN xxx

Absolutely, Shuffleuplove and BelladiMamma! So glad he's just an unsavoury, distant memory now.

That last date of mine, though, (at the end of my really long first post) shocked me differently with his behaviour. Imagine wanting to openly 'punish' someone for not wanting to have sex with you after two dates?

@DustyMuse are you sure the dodged kiss was linked to the not staying over? Dodging a kiss then smirking about it would give me the instant ick.
Hi @UtterSocks glad to hear things are still going well with Mr G, sorry the nutcase ex is still in and out of his house though.
@FireandBrimstone "have you?" 🤣🤣🤣 You win the internet today!

@DustyMuse

Absolutely, Shuffleuplove and BelladiMamma! So glad he's just an unsavoury, distant memory now.

That last date of mine, though, (at the end of my really long first post) shocked me differently with his behaviour. Imagine wanting to openly 'punish' someone for not wanting to have sex with you after two dates?

Is he French? They love a bit of game playing. No thanks mate I'm an adult now, I've outgrown that game 🤷🏻‍♀️

MrIrish still hasn't confirmed the date zero tonight. I'll leave the chat open and see what pathetic excuse he comes up with!!
Unbe-fucking-lievable

@UtterSocks I was wondering how you were getting on with Mr G and figured no news was good news. Really glad you’ve found someone you value and who values you and thank you for posting that things are working out. Mr G reminded me so much of myself from three years ago, I felt compelled to advocate for him ! Glad I did. I think the terrible ex- might have to suffer a few of the shocks of life to maybe come to her senses and gain a sense of perspective, though hopefully not via the expense of an injunction.

Hi Heartbeats0708 ! He told me towards the end of the evening it was payback for my pre second date message telling him I wasn't ready to spend the night at his. His messages prior to this date made it very clear he was hoping to spend the night with me. It was too soon for me.

Jesus BelladiMamma !!! You go girl

I had a very sweet online date yesterday
But , ended the call totally horny and pining for my
Overseas flaky pen pal

So clearly the get under one to get over one technique isn’t working

I’m so mystified how we got this intense chemistry through messages , videos and WhatsApp

Anyway

Keep on trucking ladies

BelladiMamma, don't get me started on the games French men play. I've been here for 23 years, am half French and I still can't get used to them. Such a lack of sincerity in many cases.

@Misty9 Ooh I can't be doing with irons who can't spell...!

As probably one of the more orthographically challenged, I would say that not everyone who makes spelling mistakes should be discarded....but I would say that wouldn't I!

I have been known to occasionally misspell words, confuse their and there, discrete and discreet......

At least I now know why I have a dusty phone!

@VanGoghsDog case in point above haha... wishing i was more confident but just isn't in my nature.

Sorry to hear there are still so many flaky men occupying precious headspace.
@BelladiMamma can't believe i only just read and realised that you've women on the go too. Hope some of your date '0's do come through for you. You feeling recovered yet?

@Heartbeats0708 glad things are still going well with MrD we're really on the same timelines although MrElf has been away in between its given me time to miss him which is nice and so far he seems as keen on me as before no hint of fading which i was terrified about.
@SortingItOut also nice to hear MrK met family and friends too what an emotional experience you went through but bet you feel loads lighter now. So good to hear there are some positive stories to come out of OLD unlike @DustyMuse sorry about that date he sounds awful definitely not worth your time at all. ugh!
@FireandBrimstone best response! Did you send it?

Hi Uttersocks great news that things are going so well with Mr G, if less well with Mr G's ex...😐 I sometimes feel that if you come across someone with no baggage, you've come across someone who does not have an awful lot of life experience - but I'm in my 50s...

Am I the only one who does this? Lament the fact that I match with no-one and then when I do match with someone wonder what on earth I was thinking swiping right on them? I suppose if I only swiped on the ones that were really exciting to me, rather than also some that are just ok, I would get a couple of matches a year...

Hey @UtterSocks 👋💕

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Am I the only one who does this? Lament the fact that I match with no-one and then when I do match with someone wonder what on earth I was thinking swiping right on them? I suppose if I only swiped on the ones that were really exciting to me, rather than also some that are just ok, I would get a couple of matches a year...

I tend to follow the male strategy of lots of swiping. I then appear to get more likes because of it? I think because the site makes me as being active? This is my theory based on working with Match.com many many moons ago. The algorithms may all have changed though and you've got to have enough time to bother with it too. I've done it twice now in 6 months and it certainly yields lots of conversations... anything more, we'll see ...

I have had another check up this afternoon & I've been diagnosed with concussion syndrome which apparently could take another 2 months to clear up. And requires total bed rest no driving etc etc. Wtf 😳

I've contacted all the irons and, including MrIrish, a few have come back and offered to come over with tea and a board game?!

🤔 could be an interesting few weeks 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Oh no @BelladiMamma. That's drastic. But you need to make a full recovery, so let the board games commence!

Sorry to change subject but your app/ swipe strategies fascinate me - when you say lots of swiping, do you mean right and left, or lots of right swiping? And then weed out the dross?

To those curious, because I am in a FOUL mood today I did eventually just think 'fuckit' and sent that 'have you' response back to the cheeky questioner. He has what we in Scotland call a 'brass neck' and has continued the chat with even more attempts to get sexty.

I am SO not having any of it. Literally and metaphorically 🙃

@FireandBrimstone

Oh no *@BelladiMamma*. That's drastic. But you need to make a full recovery, so let the board games commence!

Sorry to change subject but your app/ swipe strategies fascinate me - when you say lots of swiping, do you mean right and left, or lots of right swiping? And then weed out the dross?

To those curious, because I am in a FOUL mood today I did eventually just think 'fuckit' and sent that 'have you' response back to the cheeky questioner. He has what we in Scotland call a 'brass neck' and has continued the chat with even more attempts to get sexty.

I am SO not having any of it. Literally and metaphorically 🙃

What an arse 😂

Just tell him you're no having it and he can Fuck off back to mcfucktown while he's at it.

Actually don't do that just unmatch from him 🤦🏻‍♀️

I just swipe on the people I like the look of within a 30 mile radius. I'm on bumble so I get to be in the driving seat as I normally have my profile hidden as well

Then have a chat for a couple of days; phone or video and if I like them suggest a date within a couple of weeks of chatting.

It doesn't yield me loads of good dates but it makes me feel more like I'm in control of my destiny rather than waiting for likes which is dull

Glad to hear comms have been good despite the break @Naimee87 I know you had a couple of issues early doors with a bit of misunderstanding.
Question for you, given we're on a similar timeline, and the thread as a whole. What does it mean to be in love? How do you know? This feels very different from Mr O, who I think was a bit of a lovebomber, but I've managed to make it to my grand old age and still not really "know".

@BelladiMamma

I have had another check up this afternoon & I've been diagnosed with concussion syndrome which apparently could take another 2 months to clear up. And requires total bed rest no driving etc etc. Wtf 😳

I've contacted all the irons and, including MrIrish, a few have come back and offered to come over with tea and a board game?!

🤔 could be an interesting few weeks 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Who said total bed rest? That's unusual advice... Hope you're okay

@Misty9 a junior doctor. As soon as symptoms start total bed rest. Then stay in bed as much as possible. Sleep, rest, don't drive until I've had a significant amount of time without symptoms. Go back in tomorrow or day after for more checks. There's no bleed on the brain but apparently the only way to deal with concussion syndrome is Do Nothing and Rest.

Happy to hear a second opinion if you have one 😊

@DustyMuse wow that guy sounds like a total nob, he should have just cancelled if he was that annoyed about it.

Thank you for the new thread, just been catching up after a few days away.

I'm suspicious of Mr Italy after he's been quite smooth with me so far. He works in sales so clearly knows how to speak to people. He used a "line" on me on our 2nd date and used it again over text, must have forgotten he used it, which makes me feels it's insincere. I've slightly gone off him for that but it's only very minor, it's just a good reminder to take it slow.. Seeing him again on Thursday.

I'm still collecting matches but not initiating any chats as I'm focused on Mr Italy, but very keen to have back ups

[quote Bbub]@DustyMuse wow that guy sounds like a total nob, he should have just cancelled if he was that annoyed about it.

Thank you for the new thread, just been catching up after a few days away.

I'm suspicious of Mr Italy after he's been quite smooth with me so far. He works in sales so clearly knows how to speak to people. He used a "line" on me on our 2nd date and used it again over text, must have forgotten he used it, which makes me feels it's insincere. I've slightly gone off him for that but it's only very minor, it's just a good reminder to take it slow.. Seeing him again on Thursday.

I'm still collecting matches but not initiating any chats as I'm focused on Mr Italy, but very keen to have back ups[/quote]
Oooh yes that would get my spidey senses tingling too.

@DustyMuse

Hi Heartbeats0708 ! He told me towards the end of the evening it was payback for my pre second date message telling him I wasn't ready to spend the night at his. His messages prior to this date made it very clear he was hoping to spend the night with me. It was too soon for me.

That's terrible, it takes a bit to shock me but what a blatant dick move. Reminds me of @VanGoghsDog date who put his hand on the bill and asked if she'd see him again, implying he'd pay if she would. Grim. Will you be seeing him again?!

Good evening ladies, what do you think about men with pictures on bed, please? Is this some sort of clue they want sex or a just a way to camouflage saggy skin?