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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help. I'm on a date. I've read a text about me...

384 replies

doesthiscomewithfries · 13/08/2021 21:01

I'm on a forth date with a guy. He's cooking. Left me in charge of his phone for Spotify.

It's not an iPhone. I don't know what I'm doing. I get out of the app. I panic. Hit another button. Whatsapp. It's a chat with a friend of his where he's detailing what we got up to on our last date.

Also scrolling back. I'm half a bottle of wine down. He says he might not see me again as I'm not his type.

Sooooo. What do I do now. I feel like crap.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 13/08/2021 21:27

@doesthiscomewithfries

No. I'm not ok.

I said I'm going. He's poured me some more wine.

I've just said I know what he wrote. He's come up with some shitty story about a friend bla bla bla. I can't handle it. I've gone to the loo just for some space

He doesn't listen to boundaries.

Put the glass down and leave.

Maskless · 13/08/2021 21:27

ffs just ASK him

grapewine · 13/08/2021 21:27

I hope you leave and get home safely. Then block.

SnatchCassidy · 13/08/2021 21:28

Please just leave hun. If he's telling people you're not his type then he's just using you for one thing.

cookiecreampie · 13/08/2021 21:28

Leave, don't waste anymore time with him.

WetBench · 13/08/2021 21:29

Don’t drink any more wine.
Please text a friend/family member/work colleague and give your address, turn on location on messenger etc, tell them you are unsafe, even phone 999 if you feel you can’t leave.
Even if we’d only ever said hi at the school gate, if someone texted me this and I was able to drive I would be there to get you and if I had been drinking I would get someone to drive me, I promise anyone will help come and get you.

Marriedtothesilverfox · 13/08/2021 21:29

I hope you hsve left and are not drinking any more

AlexisRoseBoop · 13/08/2021 21:30

Please get yourself safely home, soon, for sanity purposes.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 13/08/2021 21:30

He doesn't listen to boundaries.

A drunk person wants to leave as they are upset/uncomfortable. And the answer is to pour them more wine..

Because that makes everything better. But only for them.

Hopeisnotastrategy · 13/08/2021 21:30

Just get out OP, get yourself home. Make any excuse you feel you need to, but get out of there.

VaggieMight · 13/08/2021 21:30

Order a cab and get yourself home.

bookh · 13/08/2021 21:30

The bottom line is tonight is not the time for this, you are uncomfortable so you hold your head up high and you leave.
What tomorrow brings is another story. You say she, it could be all manner of silly explanations and outcomes.

Discuss those in the cold light of day. If he's a good one, he will still be that tomorrow

BiscuitLover09876 · 13/08/2021 21:30

Is this real? Feels like one of those troll posts where the person just keeps new things hanging. Why would you still be there? Makes no sense.

Lulola · 13/08/2021 21:31

If you don’t want to be there then leave. You owe him nothing. Order a taxi or ring a friend to collect you and then decide how you feel tomorrow.

MushMonster · 13/08/2021 21:31

At this point, go home now! Call a taxi and leave.
It is only 4 dates, so nothing.

StarDrawers · 13/08/2021 21:32

Don't drink any more OP. How dare he?!
Can you get home safely?

Wherearemymarbles · 13/08/2021 21:33

Call a taxi and leave and dont drink any more.

SundaySheAteChocolate · 13/08/2021 21:34

Go.

PepperPepperMan · 13/08/2021 21:34

Don’t drink anymore, call a friend, you brother, sister anyone and get yourself home

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 13/08/2021 21:34

I would use his phone to send a WhatsApp msg to his friend along the lines of "Actually l'm beginning to think I'm gay, I like you more than her, A LOT 😍 If I sneak out can I come round to your place?“ 🤪

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/08/2021 21:34

@BiscuitLover09876

Is this real? Feels like one of those troll posts where the person just keeps new things hanging. Why would you still be there? Makes no sense.
Even if you think it's a troll, the advice is the same because no, women don't always leave. And sometimes that has horrible consequences.

Post for the lurkers.

TractorAndHeadphones · 13/08/2021 21:36

Oh god who cares what he says - you’ve seen it, it’s not very pleasant, and your drunk. Another one saying to leave.
You can sort the rest of it out tomorrow

PegasusReturns · 13/08/2021 21:36

Whether he has behaved badly depends entirely on what he said and when.

If he said after the first date that you’d give for a walk and a couple of beers and you weren’t his type, that’s ok. He gave it another chance and has changed his mind.

If he said you weren’t his type before to this date and/or said anything derogatory or intimate about you then that’s not ok.

Either way now is not the time to work that out. Get yourself home, drink some water, sleep well and figure out what you want to do tomorrow.

Goodthings · 13/08/2021 21:36

He said it to a female friend?

sofiegiraffe · 13/08/2021 21:36

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

I would use his phone to send a WhatsApp msg to his friend along the lines of "Actually l'm beginning to think I'm gay, I like you more than her, A LOT 😍 If I sneak out can I come round to your place?“ 🤪

It sounds like the "friend" is female, from OP's most recent posts.