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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help. I'm on a date. I've read a text about me...

384 replies

doesthiscomewithfries · 13/08/2021 21:01

I'm on a forth date with a guy. He's cooking. Left me in charge of his phone for Spotify.

It's not an iPhone. I don't know what I'm doing. I get out of the app. I panic. Hit another button. Whatsapp. It's a chat with a friend of his where he's detailing what we got up to on our last date.

Also scrolling back. I'm half a bottle of wine down. He says he might not see me again as I'm not his type.

Sooooo. What do I do now. I feel like crap.

OP posts:
MakemeaCake · 15/08/2021 09:15

It's the language used @alexa677. It's a giveaway.

I don't know what I'm doing. I get out of the app. I panic. Hit another button

It's written in the wrong tense for it to be in real time.

If it was true, someone would say

I'm getting out of the app now. I'm panicking. I'm hitting another button

I have never, ever, heard anyone speak like this in real life when they are in a state of panic.

alexa677 · 15/08/2021 09:20

@MakemeaCake

It's the language used *@alexa677*. It's a giveaway.

I don't know what I'm doing. I get out of the app. I panic. Hit another button

It's written in the wrong tense for it to be in real time.

If it was true, someone would say

I'm getting out of the app now. I'm panicking. I'm hitting another button

I have never, ever, heard anyone speak like this in real life when they are in a state of panic.

Exactly and it's written to create panic and the illusion of danger.....

Even if it was true, a more accurate description would be "I seen a message in his phone I didn't like as it said I wasn't his usual time. I feel a bit shit/uncomfortable now. He's given an explanation and poured me a drink. Not sure whether to stay"

alexa677 · 15/08/2021 09:20
  • usual type
wheresthehope · 15/08/2021 09:42

So what happened in the end 😳

category12 · 15/08/2021 09:47

OP came back to be all like "I exist, am not a troll, search me" and then promptly vanished again without saying whether she left or whether she stayed or whether twas all a nonsense.

So I guess we're left to fight out how awful we think each other's opinions are. Grin

SnatchCassidy · 15/08/2021 10:12

@wheresthehope

So what happened in the end 😳
Nothing apparently.
AlfonsoTheMango · 15/08/2021 10:40

I'd check your advance search if I were you.

@doesthiscomewithfries - I did an advanced search on your username. The earliest post it came up with was 3 August of this year.

AlfonsoTheMango · 15/08/2021 10:43

@doesthiscomewithfriesAnd the Advanced Search turned up a total of seven messages.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 15/08/2021 10:45

Me too alfonso

A ringing endorsement it was not.

Well, not under that name anyway.

CharlotteRose90 · 15/08/2021 10:54

Reported that post. Clearly just an idiot making it up. If it was genuine she would have come back and said she was okay. These posts make me laugh if it was that real she would have grabbed her stuff and went home not post on here.

Original poster
doesthiscomewithfries · 15/08/2021 11:55

@CharlotteRose90

Reported that post. Clearly just an idiot making it up. If it was genuine she would have come back and said she was okay. These posts make me laugh if it was that real she would have grabbed her stuff and went home not post on here.
Go for it. Id rather that than you write snidey messages.

I was going to come back. But then I read all the vitriol and abuse.

So to everyone who was genuinely concerned (even the ones who thought to post later saying they now thought I was a troll as I hadn't been back) thank you. I'm fine.

But there's no point updating further as it will just get torn to shreds by everyone here desperate to believe I'm some harpy.

Fwiw I'm not neurotypical. So yes I struggle with reading people and their intentions. Hope that clears up why I'm such an 'idiot'.

OP posts:
AlexisRoseBoop · 15/08/2021 12:26

Will you see him again?

coodawoodashooda · 15/08/2021 12:28

Op we all make awkward judgements sometimes. Glad you are home and well.

MakemeaCake · 15/08/2021 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

GentlemanJay · 15/08/2021 12:52

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Get a friend to call you with an emergency.

Stay on the phone with your friend while you make your excuses and leave.

Block him when you get home.

I've done this. Twice! Lol.
Piranha88 · 15/08/2021 12:52

Not read everything but if that had happened, I’d have told him I’d seen the text, got my stuff and just left.

SnatchCassidy · 15/08/2021 12:58

So you stayed over then. Well why didn't you just say so?

KatherineJaneway · 15/08/2021 13:03

Glad you're home safe OP. I think people invest in threads then get upset if they think op is a troll and get angry hence the angry messages.

LouiseBelchersBunnyEars · 15/08/2021 13:05

Mumsnet really need to clamp down on troll hunting. It’s so boring to read.
If you think it’s fake then report, no need for all the comments

fuckoffImcounting · 15/08/2021 13:09

If people are annoyed at a thread why not just stop reading, instead of getting nasty with the OP?

SnatchCassidy · 15/08/2021 13:09

@LouiseBelchersBunnyEars

Mumsnet really need to clamp down on troll hunting. It’s so boring to read. If you think it’s fake then report, no need for all the comments
To be fair OP invited people to do an advanced search on them to see their history as a long established member. People did that and found just 7 posts with nothing before 3rd August this year.
iklboo · 15/08/2021 13:18

All the 'why hasn't the OP come back' posts piss me off. Posters aren't obligated to continually post updates - they have lives outside of MN. It doesn't make them a troll. And, after all the vitriol, abuse & name calling I don't blame her not reporting on her every move like a MN Kate Adie.

SnatchCassidy · 15/08/2021 13:21

@iklboo

All the 'why hasn't the OP come back' posts piss me off. Posters aren't obligated to continually post updates - they have lives outside of MN. It doesn't make them a troll. And, after all the vitriol, abuse & name calling I don't blame her not reporting on her every move like a MN Kate Adie.
Nobody asked her to report her every move. There was genuine concern. People genuinely believed she was about to potentially be raped and she just vanished.
thinkingaboutLangCleg · 15/08/2021 13:31

OP, thanks for coming back. I’m glad you’re ok. I was worried because I was raped in similar circumstances. People do silly things when they’re drunk, we all do. I hope you’re fine now.

TheStoic · 15/08/2021 13:55

Nobody asked her to report her every move. There was genuine concern. People genuinely believed she was about to potentially be raped and she just vanished

The people genuinely concerned for her, and the people who expected her to report back, are not the same people. You, for example, were not genuinely concerned.