My partner says my son is the most horrible child he has ever met

[Owldeb2005]

My ds is 15 and is not an angel but lazy and spoiled as some teenagers seem to be. My partner went mad yesterday because ds had gone to play football with his friend and he is not allowed to go on his PS4 during the day. After work I started cleaning and did not see his calls until later. He wanted a lift home because his frien had hurt his leg. My partner said I should not pick him up when I saw the message because he was just being lazy. In the meantime he had tried everyone else and ended up calling my dad who doesn’t drive but my uncle lives there and he brought them back. My partner went mental saying how disgusting it was to ask like that and how he is a horrible child and a spoiled jumped up little c••t. I don’t think he did anything wrong but when I say that I am a bad parent and am turning him into a horrible person.
I am at my wits end with it because it is ranting a lot of the time when my son is with me.

@Owldeb2005

I think I have had so much of this now that I was not sure if this was bad or if I am a bad parent. It has just made me so low and depressed

Get help and get out NOW . Your poor son is going to end up damaged otherwise. He's done NOTHING wrong. It's sad to read this.

Any person who spoke about my child like that wouldn't get the chance to do it again! Get away from this prick

[quote Owldeb2005]@LittleMysSister he has been around for about 3.5 years. He has no kids but is always telling me that all his friends think his behaviour is disgusting and that I am a bad parent.[/quote]
Get rid of this bastard, seriously. Off he fucks.

You are not responsible for his behaviour. If he goes and attacks someone after you finish with him, that's between him, the other person, and probably the police. But it's probably just bluster. You can't stay living in misery just to protect others from his temper. Your child deserves better than this, you deserve better than this.

The best thing you can do is make a clean break and not allow any of his drama. Don't talk to him afterwards, don't agree to meet him, don't do anything to feed it. Keep things as brief and un-emotive as possible. With "I'll fight everyone you know" types the best thing you can do is give them nothing.

I think you're in a really bad situation OP, and your son is too

@CherieBabySpliffUp

Presumably the lift was to stop the child with the hurt leg from having to walk home? You don't have a DC problem, you have a 'D'P problem.

What about the injured boy's family, surely they're the one who should be getting him home?

OP your life will improve so much if you leave this relationship - you will have a calm household where you don’t have to walk on eggshells and there will be less stress. The transition to your new life will be hard but worth it. Tbh your partner is scaring me & I am sorry you are dealing with living with such an angry & unreasonable person 💐

Your partner is jealous of your son and clearly resents him even being in your life and home. He is abusive and controlling. He is worthless, toss him in the gutter where he belongs. Choose your flesh and blood over a cock.

How quickly can you get out? You're scared that your partner will fight with your ex you say? Why? Has he done so before?

Can you get your dad, uncle and ex round to kick him out? Who owns the house etc?

Yes, you cannot continue with that vile bastard. You and your poor son.

Yes teens can be selfish and moody but in this case your son did nothing wrong?? Even if his friend hadn't injured his foot, all he did was ask for a lift. What's wrong with that?

How can you be helped into leaving your and your son’s abuser?.

My guess too is that he was all sweet to you to start with and has upped the power and control over you over time.

Do also contact Women’s Aid also when it is safe for you to do so, if you can go to Boots their staff will direct you to a consultation room where you can contact domestic violence support services.

Who's name is on the tenancy or mortgage?

Your partner is acting like a jealous son and you are the mother. He's immature. He won't change.
Your partner is only happy when your son isn't around. He wants to possess you and for him to be the ONLY thing you care about.
You might find that if you show any affection or 'caring' about ANYTHING, even a TV show or talk about buying a new kettle that you like, your partner will show jealous and defensive behaviour.
Your partner sounds vile.
If a stranger on the street treated you and your son like this, or called your son those names you'd call the police.

Put your son first and get rid of your partner

You sound really ground down and afraid of your partner OP. He's spent so long raging at you that it's made you doubt your own judgement - that's just what he wants, so he can control you and keep you under his thumb. And even when your DS leaves home it won't end there, he might even give you a hard time about seeing your son ever, and over time you'll find yourself trapped with this bully and your relationship with your son will be ruined. You can avoid that future if you leave him.

So if you are such a bad parent, and your DS is so awful, what’s in it for your DP? Why is here there?

Oh, I know. It’s because he is a bully and uses verbal abuse to keep you in line and threats of physical abuse against your ex. It’s because he thinks he can get away with it.

As soon as your DS is old enough, he will leave if you keep this man around and you won’t see him for dust.

The only c*nt here is your DP.

My DC are worth a hundred good men. There is no man on this planet who I’d upset my boys for and let them listen to abuse like that.

Is it your house or his? No one would talk about my child like that. Either kick your partner out or leave asap.

He has no kids

Thank fuck.

is always telling me that all his friends think his behaviour is disgusting and that I am a bad parent.

Why is he staying then ..... cause if that were true, anyone sane wouldn't continue the relationship.

Do his mates have kids?

Even if they do, if theyre anything like him, their opinion isn't worth shit.

Why haven't you hoofed him already for calling you a bad parent. If you were, social services would be involved etc Are they?

I'm sorry but nobody on this earth would treat my DS like this. Nobody. Your partner needs to get out.

Horrible disgusting man and a vile thing to say. What an absolute twat.

He would have his bags packed (by which I mean black bin bags) and be out the door today,

Is it your house or his or a joint tenancy/mortgage?

I know it’s hard but you need to protect your son.

I don’t believe this man is good for you either.

I'm sorry but there has to be more background to this story, it can't of just been a one off, I don't think he is cut out to be a step parent unfortunately in either case, your children come first, him second, you should remind him of that

He's horrible ur child was looking for help. Seriously get rid of him sounds like he either doesn't like kids in general or really doesn't like ur son so either way he has to go!

What did your son do wrong in this situation? I certainly can't see anything in your post, and in my opinion it would have to be something absolutely despicable to excuse that reaction from your partner. I think you know what you need to do.

Your partner sounds like a bully.
Leaving him would be the best thing you could do for your son and yourself.

Your nasty partner has to go I would think.. You don't wan't your son. following in the foot steps of a mean and swearing uncouth excuse of a man..

@Owldeb2005

My ds is 15 and is not an angel but lazy and spoiled as some teenagers seem to be. My partner went mad yesterday because ds had gone to play football with his friend and he is not allowed to go on his PS4 during the day. After work I started cleaning and did not see his calls until later. He wanted a lift home because his frien had hurt his leg. My partner said I should not pick him up when I saw the message because he was just being lazy. In the meantime he had tried everyone else and ended up calling my dad who doesn’t drive but my uncle lives there and he brought them back. My partner went mental saying how disgusting it was to ask like that and how he is a horrible child and a spoiled jumped up little c••t. I don’t think he did anything wrong but when I say that I am a bad parent and am turning him into a horrible person. I am at my wits end with it because it is ranting a lot of the time when my son is with me.

FFS get rid of your partner and support your son. 15 year old boys can be difficult but you need to love him and care for him and put him first 100%.