My partner says my son is the most horrible child he has ever met

[Owldeb2005]

My ds is 15 and is not an angel but lazy and spoiled as some teenagers seem to be. My partner went mad yesterday because ds had gone to play football with his friend and he is not allowed to go on his PS4 during the day. After work I started cleaning and did not see his calls until later. He wanted a lift home because his frien had hurt his leg. My partner said I should not pick him up when I saw the message because he was just being lazy. In the meantime he had tried everyone else and ended up calling my dad who doesn’t drive but my uncle lives there and he brought them back. My partner went mental saying how disgusting it was to ask like that and how he is a horrible child and a spoiled jumped up little c••t. I don’t think he did anything wrong but when I say that I am a bad parent and am turning him into a horrible person.
I am at my wits end with it because it is ranting a lot of the time when my son is with me.

Oh god you need to protect your son and get away fast. You’re not a bad parent but you will be if you stay, it makes you complicit. You need to get away from him permanently and fast.

Get rid of the cunt today. Protect your child.

I'd not want him anywhere near my Son.
You sound downtrodden and like things can't get much worse so honestly do yourself and your ds a favour and get rid of this man.
I'll bet your like drastically improves as will your own relationship with your ds.

[quote Owldeb2005]@Letthelightoflove. It is definitely not all about me I worry about how this makes my ds feel and am looking for somewhere to move out to as my partner has been threatening to my ex husband too. I worry that he will go and sort him out if we split and I don’t want to be responsible for that or let ds have to deal with that[/quote]
If he goes to 'sort him out' he will be put in jail where he would belong.

You are not to blame or responsible for the nasty behaviour of anyone else. And infact, if you end things with this man then he had no other reason to be around you or your family or your acquaintances.

You are doing more damage to your son by teaching him that one person can manage the behaviour of an abuser. Because it's not true. And because its something anyone should attempt. And because toxic people need to be removed from our lives, not kept and pandered to.

What's the housing situation? Do you have to be the one who leaves?

*its not something anyone should attempt

[quote Owldeb2005]@Letthelightoflove. It is definitely not all about me I worry about how this makes my ds feel and am looking for somewhere to move out to as my partner has been threatening to my ex husband too. I worry that he will go and sort him out if we split and I don’t want to be responsible for that or let ds have to deal with that[/quote]
You won't be responsible. He will be.

Some words you can never take back, this would be the end of the relationship for me.

Oh and give women's aid a call

@Laila747

Hmmm….if someone called one of my DC a horrible child or jumped up little c**t

That’d be the last thing they ever said to me.

Same here. Bye bye.

You know what you need to do.

When you say that DC is not an angel, have he and your partner butted heads before?
I'm failing to see what your DC has done wrong tbh. Your partner, on the other hand, Sounds vile

Does your child have anywhere else he can live whilst you choose to be with your scummy boyfriend? It’s appalling that you’ve inflicted such scum your child for a fifth of his life so far.

LTB

What's your financial/house situation - renting, mortgage, is he on deeds/tenancy?

You already know he needs to go - now it's about getting plans in place and you will get the support on here to do this

You need to prioritise your poor son and get rid of that nasty man out of both of your lives. Do it now before more damage is done.

Sounds like your partner doesn't like either you or your son.

He also sounds like an angry bully.

Not sure why you'd put up with any of that. Or even call him your partner. A partner is someone on your team, who makes life fun and shares the load with you.

Also, if it actually did come to it - I'd rather this guy went for my dad (and hopefully my dad got a few good punches in) and then I never had to see him again than see my mum abused 24/7. Ir hope my dad would kick the fuckers ass tbh.

@Owldeb2005

I think I have had so much of this now that I was not sure if this was bad or if I am a bad parent. It has just made me so low and depressed

Well imagine how it makes your son feel. You have a choice to stay with this twat or not but your son doesn’t (yet)

Your ds did nothing wrong. Get rid of your partner.

Haven’t RTFT but I saw no “LTB” on the first page so there you go, that’s my suggestion. You can’t have a thread without a “ltb”

Any man called my kid the c-word he'd be bounced out of the house so quickly he'd see stars. I'm really not sure what your dilemma is here, OP.

Please get away from him fast and look after your child. No excuses.

He is manipulating you and destroying you to control you.

You say 'when he is with you' - do you share custody with your ex? Is he aware what life is like for his son when he is with you? You say that your partner doesn't rant at your son but rants at you - your son will be aware of what life is like for you and will feel guilty because, at 15, he will be aware that it's because of him.

This is such a toxic situation. For your sake, for your son's sake, remove yourself as soon as you can. Can you stay with family until you're able to find somewhere safe for you and your son to start again.

All the very best OP, I sincerely hope you sort this out and make a stand for yourself before your partner does worse damage to you or your son.

Who owns the house? This will be your life until you make changes and end the relationship, then you and your son can be happy.

You need to kick this bloke out. End of