My partner says my son is the most horrible child he has ever met

[Owldeb2005]

My ds is 15 and is not an angel but lazy and spoiled as some teenagers seem to be. My partner went mad yesterday because ds had gone to play football with his friend and he is not allowed to go on his PS4 during the day. After work I started cleaning and did not see his calls until later. He wanted a lift home because his frien had hurt his leg. My partner said I should not pick him up when I saw the message because he was just being lazy. In the meantime he had tried everyone else and ended up calling my dad who doesn’t drive but my uncle lives there and he brought them back. My partner went mental saying how disgusting it was to ask like that and how he is a horrible child and a spoiled jumped up little c••t. I don’t think he did anything wrong but when I say that I am a bad parent and am turning him into a horrible person.
I am at my wits end with it because it is ranting a lot of the time when my son is with me.

He sounds horrible and controlling. The way he talks about your ds is completely unacceptable. Good luck with ending things.

Owldeb, do you have anyone who can help you with packing up and moving, ie be there to protect you while you get things together? Preferably two people, fairly big ones.

It is possible that you could stay put and get him out because you will be able to claim UC and the like towards your rent. However that would mean him knowing exactly where you live.

Good to see you're working to get out.

Also to add that if you are worried about leaving, and you seem to be at least to some extent, you can ask for help.
Look for domestic violence support in your area, including from local authorities, if necessary.

OP, glad you are taking steps to get out. This sounds so hard for you, and for your DS.

Your partner sounds like a horrible child. Good luck with getting away from him, OP.

@Owldeb2005

I think I have had so much of this now that I was not sure if this was bad or if I am a bad parent. It has just made me so low and depressed

You are NOT a bad parent - believe me!

Your partner, on the other hand, is a deeply unpleasant person who shouldn’t be around your child.

OP he’s vile and I think you’ve only given us a short snapshot of what life’s really like. I think you are just used to it now that you don’t even realise how bad it is.

It is really important that your son doesn’t grow up thinking that this is how you are meant to treat women and children.

You can go onto the women’s aid website and there’s a chat function so you wouldn’t have to make an excuse to go outside.
Do you work?

Could you stay with family or a friend? Have you warned ex husband?

OP, each post gets slightly more sinister. Glad you are looking for a way out

Do you not go to work, op? I ask because you say if you go out, he goes with you.

Please prioritize your DS over the twat that is your partner. He sounds awful! Your DS needs to be your number 1 priority and he may behave better and respond more positively when he doesn't see the shocking examples of bad behaviour from your partner.

Your DS is a child. You need to get rid of your partner. I would go nuclear if anyone spoke to my child like that.

Your DP sounds jealous of him.

[quote Owldeb2005]@toocold54 he has threatened to get his mates to come and do over my ex husband. I am not that sort of person and would not want that[/quote]
Jesus.

@Plumtree391

Do you not go to work, op? I ask because you say if you go out, he goes with you.

Doesn't sound like a 'DP' who lets his partner work, really.

You could be right, Rannva.

He’s a done a right number on you. Get him to fuck & fast.

OP. Usually a tenancy is granted for a fixed term, say a 6 month tenancy agreement or 12 months. After that fixed term has expired then your tenancy becomes a statutory periodic tenancy. Basically it just rolls on a month to month basis until you give notice.

Here is the good bit. If YOU give notice to the landlord then that ends the tenancy for BOTH tenants. Your dickhead partner gets precisely no say in this whatsoever. So when you find somewhere else to rent, give notice. That ends the tenancy for everyone named on the tenancy agreement and more importantly it stops you being liable for any ongoing rents. If anyone questions this then the law can be found below. This extract is from the Shelter website.

"Ending a joint periodic tenancy

You can serve a notice to end the tenancy. You don't need permission from the other tenants.

When the notice ends, the tenancy and the right to live in the property will end for all tenants.

Any tenants who want to stay on at the property need to try and arrange a new tenancy agreement with the landlord.

If you have a joint tenancy agreement with more than 4 named tenants, your rights to serve a notice could be different."

@dementedpixie

I think you should tell your partner to fuck off and mind his own business

this. and dump him. Your child needs to come first.

Just to say OP that I have a 14 YT old DS and your DS sounds completely 'normal'. In fact, if my DS went to play football with a mate more often and didn't play on his Xbox in the day in the school holidays I'd be delighted!

Totally normal, reasonable behaviour from your DS.

I agree your DP sounds appalling. Glad you're looking to get out.

You've never met his friends, but his friends think you're a bad parent? The only way they could think that is because he's told them you're a bad parent. Not introducing you to his friends is a red flag in itself (although it sounds as if you're better off not knowing them.)

I'm glad you're taking steps to get out of there. He is crushing you, destroying your self esteem and threatening your relationship with your DS. It sounds like you have a history of bad relationships. Once you're out and safe, I'd recommend doing the Freedom Programme before you start another relationship.

There is only one 'jumped up cunt' and its your partner not your caring son!

I think your partner needs to go, OP. He sounds vile.

You deserve better; so does your son. Get away, it'll be the best thing you do, then have a lovely life. And don't get involved with another abusive shit. If you think you're in a vicious cycle, look at the Freedom Programme, see if they're running something close to you.

@Emimummy

As a child my mum had so many boyfriends and she would always pick them over me! it got so bad at age 15 i moved out! we have no relationship now.

This. My stupid ex friend picked her boyfriend over 16 year old daughter. Instead of being home with her she just gets pissed with him and doesn't go home except to change clothes for the next all day sesh. Absolute disgrace - her other kids have washed their hands of her and so have her friends. She will have nothing. OP please don't let this happen to you.