My partner says my son is the most horrible child he has ever met

[Owldeb2005]

My ds is 15 and is not an angel but lazy and spoiled as some teenagers seem to be. My partner went mad yesterday because ds had gone to play football with his friend and he is not allowed to go on his PS4 during the day. After work I started cleaning and did not see his calls until later. He wanted a lift home because his frien had hurt his leg. My partner said I should not pick him up when I saw the message because he was just being lazy. In the meantime he had tried everyone else and ended up calling my dad who doesn’t drive but my uncle lives there and he brought them back. My partner went mental saying how disgusting it was to ask like that and how he is a horrible child and a spoiled jumped up little c••t. I don’t think he did anything wrong but when I say that I am a bad parent and am turning him into a horrible person.
I am at my wits end with it because it is ranting a lot of the time when my son is with me.

he has threatened to get his mates to come and do over my ex husband. I am not that sort of person and would not want that

I understand more now why he hates your son so much as he is threatened by other males and why you’ve not stuck up for your son before.

You can do so much better OP!
Leave and find someone decent who is going to respect both you and your son.

Can you stay at your parents for a few days? Then you can go on the council housing list.

@Hijabigirl234 I am sorry to hear that and I am working to get out now. I can’t lose my son because of someone else

@Allllchange

It would likely be a good idea to phone women's aid and talk through the risks when leaving and how to manage them. If he is a threat to your ex, and from the way you are speaking, he could be a threat to you too. They could also potentially help you look at the options available to you housing wise

This ^^ 100 per cent. Also I have never let him say those things to him, he just rants at me Teenagers are not stupid, he knows how your S2BXP feels about him and its a miserable atmosphere for your boy to grow up in. I hope you get the help you need to leave this hideous abusive bully.

[quote Owldeb2005]@toocold54 he has threatened to get his mates to come and do over my ex husband. I am not that sort of person and would not want that[/quote]
I would think not.

What on earth does he have against your ex husband and would his friends actually do that, or is it just his threat?

Frankly, your partner (at the moment), sounds unhinged. The sooner you extricate yourself and your son from this relationship, the better.

I presume he didn't show his true colours until after he was living with you.

Someone up-thread suggested contacting Women's Aid and that is an excellent idea. They will be able to advise you.

@toocold54 my dad has my uncle staying with him so has no room, that is why it’s difficult. I have friends but they don’t have room or have dogs so I can’t take her. I will sort something very soon

he has threatened to get his mates to come and do over my ex husband

Any particular reason, or just an extension of the same reason this inadequate person dislikes your son?

All you can do is give your ex a warning of this threat so that he can keep an eye out and be ready to call the police if he needs to.

Can you go and stay with family, your ex even? You need to get out of this house now. I really don’t understand what your ds has done wrong. He is abiding by the rules not to play on the PlayStation (people are questioning this rule), he went to play football, he called a bunch of people including your dad to help look after his mate. Teens in general are a bit ungrateful and lazy, aren’t they? It’s called being a teen. Get rid of this man now, please.

I have never met his mates but they are Millwall pals and not nice. He says it is because of how he treated me. He didn’t show all this until he was in and it has only got worse recently. I will try and contact them to talk it through

The dogs trust has something called the freedom project where they will look after your dog for you until you’re settled.

I’d ring women’s aid and ask what your options are. It may be that you can stay in a b&b for a few nights until you find somewhere. I know it’s not ideal but your partner sounds disgusting and I wouldn’t want to stay around him a second longer than needed.

Have you tried getting in touch with women's aid op for help and support. I think after 3.5 years perhaps your perception of the norm has changed. Sadly this happens to so many people who are in a abusive relationships. You need to recognise the seriousness off this get support and take action. I have been in your situation and was stuck in for years and my son still really struggles because of this.

Also check with your local council if they have a bond scheme due to circumstances you would probably get help. I know it's a massive step and this is why you need support!

@yourestandingonmyneck@Plumtree391
He says that he is on it too much and will do anything to stop him going on it. It causes arguments between us because I don’t think it is a problem as he plays cricket and football so does other things

Has this horrible man assaulted you yet?

[quote Owldeb2005]@Kanaloa the only reason I didn’t pick him up was that I was doing housework and did not have my phone on me so I didn’t see the messages until he arrived home. Also I have never let him say those things to him, he just rants at me[/quote]
But whose house is it? Rented or owned?

You are being abused.

There is lots of help and advice on the Relationships board which will help you leave this pig of a man

This needs to end, before you & DS are physically as well as mentally harmed. Talk to women's aid ASAP and carefully collect important documents in one place to help a quick exit.

I haven't RTFT, but even if he's right about your DS, you should dump him. He has no right to say that, especially not after something as trivial as that.

@Nanny0gg
OP has said it is rented.

Your partner has a cheek calling your ds horrible - only a spoilt, horrible man and a bad partner would behave the way your partner does. Get rid of the bad partner - sons are for life, partners like that are a massive mistake best corrected as soon as possible.

There is help out there as many pps have pointed out. It won’t be easy but you absolutely need to get out.
You’re relationship with your son will most likely not recover if you stay. He is living in a house with someone who despises him and he will know this. He’s a teenager. They can be difficult at times. We probably all were. In this particular circumstance, he really didn’t do anything wrong. Even if he had, he needs loving supportive people around.
This man sounds deeply nasty.

Have you had any advice from Women's Aid or similar? You need to get out asap. Has anyone asked if your son's dad can take him for a while?

I'm so sorry OP. Have you thought of going to a dv refuge?

The only cunt here is your partner. If you keep him around it will damage your relationship with your son. It’s obvious what is important here.

Goodbye partner, hope the door doesn't slam you in the arse too hard on the way out >>>>>>

[quote Owldeb2005]@Umberellatheweatha we rent this house so I can just walk away. That is why I am looking for another rental[/quote]
Whose name is on the rental agreement? Just be wary as he doesn’t sound very nice so might damage the place and make you liable for any damage.
Also consider stealth moving out so he can’t try and stop you or talk you out of it etc.

@AddressLabel it is in both names but I could let them know I am leaving. He works at home and never goes out on his own, So he is always there. If I go out he usually comes with me