How do I stand up for myself facing my abuser in court

[Queenie6655]

Court case in a few days

I'm so so worried

Yes I have done nothing wrong

He has made it all out to be my fault

He tried to kill me
Hurt my child
Knife to my throat

I'm so used to believing this man and letting him get his way that I have mentally prepared myself for a total and utter shambles ahead of me and to be victim blamed

Why didn't I leave
Why forgive him!!

I caused a lot of these problems by covering up for him

How will I stand up for myself in court and try to tell my story ??!!!?

@DeireadhFomhair

Lost your thread for a while, sorry it's still not settled. With any luck he'll be given time for what he has pleaded guilty to, and you can forget about everything else until next year. Take care of yourself.

You would hope so

Horrendous ordeal but ultimately am glad I took it this far

I just worry for those who are not brave enough to pursue court or who back out when it gets close to court

Can't say I blame them

Could a re trial really be 12 months from now? This system is beyond belief

I’m sorry @Queenie6655.. it’s ludicrous. I can’t comprehend how your statement wasn’t read. I don’t know the details, but you must be livid/disappointed/distraught (and probably every other negative feeling there is). How are you supposed to trust that you will be protected by this system.

Can't go into much detail

Complex long investigation

But key things and threats to my parents and brother seem to have been somehow skipped over
Like how?!!!

If I speak out will this jeapordise my position if it goes to re trail ??!!

Real mess

Was dreading all of this already but this just takes the biscuit !!!!!!

Shocking OP 🌸

Not much I can do

Wait for re trial it seems

Who knows how long

Also not even sure if it's my choice to accept what he pled guilty to??

Anyone?

Go back to the police and ask for more support. His family were threatening you and your family. It’s not good.

Thank you

Worth a shot at least

Received my payment from expenses from CPS
Very generous contribution and it took less than a week to process

DV is causing such a financial strain on the state as well as all the other problems attached to it

It seems to be getting worse
More women killed each week
More kids attacked in their homes in the midst of it all

Sadly in my job I see the aftermath of what kids have been through and how they struggle to cope

Very little seems to be done to prevent it and to try to help perpetrators change their ways

I despair 🤬🤬

Terrible here in Aus too, @Queenie6655. Our govt unfortunately full of DV and SA apologists.

@Justilou1

Terrible here in Aus too, *@Queenie6655*. Our govt unfortunately full of DV and SA apologists.

Makes me so angry

We seem to be normalising it

Ah just another domestic right?

It ruined my life and many others

Thought I’d share this with you. We have just over woman killed per week here in DV situations. Given our relatively small population (compared to other, much geographically smaller countries) it is very telling that we have a societal problem. I’m pleased that sharks are protected, btw. Not so happy that men are still as protected as they are by the laws that stop women from reporting SA & DV, as most of us feel that there’s no bloody point and we know we’ll come out feeling worse and being more vulnerable to abuse as a result of we do.

Looking ahead a bit, something for the diary

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00114ch

@Justilou1

Thought I’d share this with you. We have just over woman killed per week here in DV situations. Given our relatively small population (compared to other, much geographically smaller countries) it is very telling that we have a societal problem. I’m pleased that sharks are protected, btw. Not so happy that men are still as protected as they are by the laws that stop women from reporting SA & DV, as most of us feel that there’s no bloody point and we know we’ll come out feeling worse and being more vulnerable to abuse as a result of we do.

Thanks for sharing this

I was discouraged from reporting by many professionals

I guess they wondered why put myself through this shit

[quote TheSandgroper]Looking ahead a bit, something for the diary

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00114ch[/quote]
Thanks so much for this

Looking forward to it

Due to hear back next week re what is happening next

Who knows

Next court date 14 months from now

5 years after the bastard left me black and blue

What a joke

That's ridiculous. 5 years to go about abusing other women.

@Hairyhat

That's ridiculous. 5 years to go about abusing other women.

Yes I said this to CPs

They said well that's not my fault

They are getting away with so much

Whole system is shocking and an absolute disgrace to women

@Thenshewasgone

Whole system is shocking and an absolute disgrace to women

Disgrace

If I was a man it would be over and done with long ago

Just dreadful

Why can I do ?

Don't let this experience here put anyone off reporting abuse

Some lovely people helped me in the MeT and with victim support

You can do it

It bloody takes forever but so be it
Keep detailed records
Tell all the relevant agencies

You will be believed
These abusers just can't get away with this

no

@Queenie6655 I literally just got off jury service in a case that involved a vulnerable female witness. Remember two things: firstly, the CPS won't bring a criminal case to court unles there is a realistic prospect of conviction. Second, judges and jurors are people. They will resonate with your honesty and authenticity. Take the screen that the court have offered so that you can feel as comfortable as possible, and just tell your truth. It truly counts for a lot. Don't let the defence lawyer rattle you. Take a breath before you answer. If they suggest something that isn't true, just say so. Witnesses in the case I sat on were asked things like "isn't it true you that were tipsy? " They just said "no, I wasn't". It's simple, but powerful - no one should put words in your mouth. Speak as openly and honestly as you can, and trust in other people to hear you ❤️

Have you explored Criminal Compensation? It’s paid for industry following criminal activity and might ease things financially for you. It comes from a central lot, not from him directly, and he doesn’t need to be convicted for you to make a claim. Some folk don’t like the idea for various reasons but it can help folk feel validated and believed, as well as giving some much needed financial wiggle room.

I was talking to my GP about gender disparity being a societal problem. Legal, medical, educational, employment, you bloody make it… (I’m a nurse btw) What set me off was a news article about a “Massive Advancement in men’s cancer diagnostics.” (Because… FUNDING!) They don’t have to um… bend over and cough anymore. Too “invasive” for the poor dears. They get blood tests now. Isn’t that just fucking dandy? Meanwhile, we still have to get our boobs smashed and a cold, metal duck bill shoved into our in our hoohaa, then expanded so that some heartless psycho with a giant mascara wand can denude our cervix while making small talk… (In Australia where I live, we even have to pay for this privelage.) Now I hear how long women like you have to wait for justice, how men like that shithead get for “time served” (what?) We’re not citizens of the planet, are we?