How do I stand up for myself facing my abuser in court

[Queenie6655]

Court case in a few days

I'm so so worried

Yes I have done nothing wrong

He has made it all out to be my fault

He tried to kill me
Hurt my child
Knife to my throat

I'm so used to believing this man and letting him get his way that I have mentally prepared myself for a total and utter shambles ahead of me and to be victim blamed

Why didn't I leave
Why forgive him!!

I caused a lot of these problems by covering up for him

How will I stand up for myself in court and try to tell my story ??!!!?

@Justilou1

Darling, I hope you can feel us all holding your hands and standing behind you holding you up.

Thank you

Nearly there x

@HereticFanjo

Nearly there x

Can see the end in sight

@Queenie6655

This is actual torture

This process is designed with more benefit to the defendant and not to me

Queenie you are doing amazingly!

I wanted to comment on this - it's not designed to benefit you and it's a horrible process as a victim.

But the reason it's not designed to benefit you is really important - it's not designed around you because you are not on trial.

You are a witness for the Crown.

The CPS believe your testimony is sufficiently compelling and reliable to have you support their prosecution of him.

It's not you vs him. You're "just" a witness. And if the case fails, that's no reflection on you at all.

Good luck

The system is broken that he is the one on trial but you are the one bing put through the mental & emotional wringer and made out to be untrustworthy & cross-questioned as if you're the one at fault - you are amazing, and it's so nearly over!

Waiting for the outcome will be the last torturous piece and then I'm sure you'll be so drained. Be kind to yourself and be ready to experience a lot more emotion afterwards before you start to eventually feel relieved and better (& you should also feel so so proud of yourself too!)

We're all behind you & willing you through it. Stay strong

Stay strong op. This is the problem with our criminal justice system, the female survivor has to stand up but the male defendant doesn’t. It’s punishment by process for women, man can just sit on his arse. Hoping you get a good outcome but even if not he’s admitted guilt to some charges and they’ll be on his record.

But the reason it's not designed to benefit you is really important - it's not designed around you because you are not on trial.

You are a witness for the Crown.

The CPS believe your testimony is sufficiently compelling and reliable to have you support their prosecution of him.

Absolutely this.

You're so, so close OP and we are all standing with you.

This will all be over soon OP

Unpalatable as it might feel for you at the moment, our judicial system is that defendants are innocent until proven guilty.

You are "just" a witness in that process.

Whether or not he is found guilty in the eyes of the law does not change the fact that he did these things to you (and to other women). It's just that the Defence Barrister managed to create reasonable doubt in the jury's minds. It might be purely on a point of law.

It's not on you. You know the truth. You know what really happened and what he is capable of.

You're doing great Queenie 💪

@Justilou1

Darling, I hope you can feel us all holding your hands and standing behind you holding you up.

God this is so powerful I have this image in my head now of hundreds of us linking arms to support OP.

Coming back before bed (nearly 2am here in Aus) to say that regardless of the outcome, we’ll still be holding your hands and holding you up, @Queenie6655… Of course I hope our hands will be raised in a gesture of joyous solidarity later!!! I so very proud of you, @Queenie6655. You’re a true Superhero.

This could be us today

Have just read through this thread and wanted to say how moved I am by your resilience and dignity. I am amazed at the professional expertise and emotional encouragement and support going your way. It’s a truly amazing example of humanity. I hope that you are able to take care of yourself because you will likely feel drained and exhausted at some point.

Wishing you comfort and peace.

Awww you fab people

Well it has gone to re trail

Can't go into info

But they think in a few months it will come up again

Utterly exhausted

Oh no! After all that stress for you...

At least you know what to expect next time round.

Your incredibly brave

Yes indeed

Jury brought up something significant and we couldn't continue

When people said cross examination is bad

It was ten million times worse

And I only had a small part of it

Oh @Queenie6655

It's not your fault. You've done your bit, and yes, you'll have to go through it again but you. can. do. it.

For the moment, just try to forget about it easier said than done and get on with your life. Don't let him continue to control you.

@prettybird

Oh *@Queenie6655*

It's not your fault. You've done your bit, and yes, you'll have to go through it again but you. can. do. it.

For the moment, just try to forget about it easier said than done and get on with your life. Don't let him continue to control you.

Yes think I have no choice

Wow that’s an unexpected place to be. I hope that you can reflect on how far you have come and ride out the uncertainty over the next few months.

You have done brilliantly. The second time can’t be worse than the first time. I hope that you can get some rest and detach as much as you can.

Oh no, I'm so sorry - what a total nightmare for you to have the go through it again. Looking for a silver lining you will at least know what to expect next time....

You can do this. I’ve given evidence in a 5 week criminal trial. Some practical points:
address your answers to the judge and jury when questioned by the defence, rather than to the defence barrister.

If you don’t understand the question or it’s ambiguous tell the judge you don’t understand it. He/she will seek to clarify.

If defence ask for a yes/no answer turn to the judge and explain in order to be truthful you cannot answer simply yes or no, you need to give context. A good judge should allow this.
If the defence cut you off when answering a question, turn to the judge and say you would like to answer if full in order to give a truthful answer. Your barrister and the judge will protect you against any unnecessary or irrelevant questions.

Wishing you well OP

@KingDangerMouse

You can do this. I’ve given evidence in a 5 week criminal trial. Some practical points: address your answers to the judge and jury when questioned by the defence, rather than to the defence barrister. If you don’t understand the question or it’s ambiguous tell the judge you don’t understand it. He/she will seek to clarify. If defence ask for a yes/no answer turn to the judge and explain in order to be truthful you cannot answer simply yes or no, you need to give context. A good judge should allow this. If the defence cut you off when answering a question, turn to the judge and say you would like to answer if full in order to give a truthful answer. Your barrister and the judge will protect you against any unnecessary or irrelevant questions. Wishing you well OP

Excellent points

Will need to jot these down this weekend