I fucking hate him. What a total bastard

[Workinghardeveryday]

Okay, fuming so apologies for typing.
About 5/6 months ago we were going through a very bad patch. We talked all day one Saturday for 6 hours, got no where. At the end of the conversation he started crying, like really crying. Told me he had a thing for big bums - which I don’t have. In his words, ‘I would want to fuck you every night if you had bum surgery’. Went on to explain in detail how much he likes big bums. I was totally crushed.
I cannot begin to explain what effect this has had on my self esteem. I look after myself, lower end of bmi even after dd15 and twins 10 that I was induced for so very big.
We worked things out eventually, we were loved up for a while, couldn’t keep hands off each other. In all this time though he has never tried to make me feel better, even though he knows I am still devastated about what he said. I do bum work outs 4 times a day, everyday. I cannot bare my bum. Can hardly look at it, everything I wear is to cover it.
He has made out since that night he doesn’t have a thing for big bums, he was confused, we weren’t getting on. Now things are good he realised he likes my bum because he loves me.
Tonight we were watching a film. The girl on it was very attractive, very small none existent bum. I asked him if he thought she was attractive, yes. Fine, she was, no issues. - relieved as she has small bum. I asked if he liked her bum, yes. So I said but she has a small hun I thought you liked big bums, he said he likes big bums as much as small bums.
Evening continued, everything fine but he started being distant. He went in kitchen came back in, asked why I was crying - I wasn’t. Then stormed off back in kitchen.
I am livid. So, he thought I was upset about the bum conversation tonight, so instead of reassuring me in someway gets angry and storms off?!!! Wtf. What a twat.
I called him out on it, he went mad, stormed off again in his car and gone.
I always let him walk all over me, I am sure af I am not going to sit here and say nothing that he thought I was crying and got angry about it!!! Who even does that. So cold.
Wouldn’t care, I wasn’t even crying.

At the end of the conversation he started crying, like really crying. Told me he had a thing for big bums - which I don’t have

Six hours of talking and this is what he cries about? Weird af, pitiful , laughable but not worth getting stressed about unless he's a wealthy adonis with a lizard tongue and monster cock...but even then crying over your arse would be hideously unattractive and not worth you being upset over.

You weren't crying so he had no need to reassure you? If he thought you were crying he was likely thinking "why is she crying over some girls arse thats ridiculous" - but you weren't.

Much ado about nothing.

In the nicest possible way OP you really, really need to stop relying on your partner's views on big or little "bums" as the source of your self esteem. Really.

@ZednotZee

Trying very hard not to burst in to song right now.

You know the one...

OP, this is ridiculous.

Me neither, I cannot lie

I know a lot of you think it’s all very childish and tbf the way I have told it does sound that way.
Imagine falling in love with someone, we were everything to each other, always together, call txt all day everyday if not together. Then he starts being distant after all those years then he comes out with that.
Obviously I am hurt/embarrassed. Who doesn’t want their man to fancy them?
For the last couple of months we have argued on and off. I spoke to a solicitor a couple of weeks ago to get my ‘ducks in a row’. I feel like I am always trying to keep him happy. I do everything for him apart from run his bath and wipe his behind. Absolutely everything to do with the house/kids/bills.
I want it to work. I don’t want to be alone

I feel like I'm in the same situation as you @Workinghardeveryday

You need to be more than his houseslave. Get yourself doing stuff that is more meaningful to you. Feminism is a thing. Look into it. Your self worth seems to come from him.

As stupid as it is tonight was the first time he has said in fact he does but he didn't say that actually he said
he likes big bums as much as small bums

He's also said he loves you and your bum so I can understand him getting arsey about you bringing it up again.

Let it go

He CRIED because of the size of your arse?!

A grown man CRIED because he wanted you to get bum surgery?!

This thread has finished me.

Same here.

Sorry OP but you sound like kids.
Why the importance on your ass and boobs?
DH is a boob man - always has been, but he loves ME, not for my boobs - but fer ME.
I care not one iota that he likes other, more pert and perky than mine, because when all is said and done he loves me

When did the cracks start to show, OP?

@Icanflyhigh suppose because I don’t feel like he does love me because he was always attracted to me and now he isn’t

OP, kindly, the size of your arse doesn't matter.

My DH has always been a 'boob man' if his previous girlfriends are any indicator (god that makes me cringe even writing it - boob man) but I'm not remotely busty, even less so now than I ever was.. after gravity took hold post kids.

He still loves me and is attracted to me.

I think your husband sounds quite strange to come out with something like that after a 6 hour heart to heart about your relationship.

Your bum no doubt is perfect. The bum you live with who we will call the arse is not.

YABU though OP. Know your worth. A bum really doesnt make a difference does it.

The cracks started to show a couple of years ago. We stopped doing the deed, only once every 3 weeks or so. Yes he was staying up and watching porn. Yes I think about the fact they all had lovely bums and mine is small

@VodselForDinner

When did the cracks start to show, OP?

Op, having done anback seaclrch on you, you need to just dump him. He has zero respect for you and it is affevting how you behave

I wouldn’t do bum exercises 4 times a day for anyone. I don’t understand how someone can be so bothered about the appearance of a certain part of your body, that they’d cry over it? That would give me the ick.

Missing the point, but you do bum exercises four times a day?

Why are you doing everything for him?

This is so confusing tbh. Because your op doesn't mention that tonight he said he does. But then you say you keep bringing up, and he has said he doesn't. Then tonight he said it does.

You had an argument and he cried over liking large bums. And you got past it but you didn't because you kept bringing it up. About once every 4 weeks, you bring it up.

It appears tonight, he had enough of you bringing it up.

He sounds like an arse himself. But I also think you need to stop doing everything for him and wrapping your self esteem in him.

All I wanted was for him to make me feel better about myself instead of embarrassed.

Stop being so pathetic, your self worth comes from within, not what he or anyone else says & you sound needy & annoying AF. I'd have walked out in a mood too if my DH was constantly quizzing my about how attractive others bums were, with a clear agenda, when all I was doing was try relax & watch TV

When did the cracks start to show, OP?

@VodselForDinner

When did the cracks start to show, OP?

You need to put this behind you OP

He sounds like a giant ass himself

@SingingInTheShithouse

All I wanted was for him to make me feel better about myself instead of embarrassed.

Stop being so pathetic, your self worth comes from within, not what he or anyone else says & you sound needy & annoying AF. I'd have walked out in a mood too if my DH was constantly quizzing my about how attractive others bums were, with a clear agenda, when all I was doing was try relax & watch TV

Stop being so horrible

@VictoriousPlum

Missing the point, but you do bum exercises four times a day?

I thought that meant has a poo 4 times a day?