I fucking hate him. What a total bastard

[Workinghardeveryday]

Okay, fuming so apologies for typing.
About 5/6 months ago we were going through a very bad patch. We talked all day one Saturday for 6 hours, got no where. At the end of the conversation he started crying, like really crying. Told me he had a thing for big bums - which I don’t have. In his words, ‘I would want to fuck you every night if you had bum surgery’. Went on to explain in detail how much he likes big bums. I was totally crushed.
I cannot begin to explain what effect this has had on my self esteem. I look after myself, lower end of bmi even after dd15 and twins 10 that I was induced for so very big.
We worked things out eventually, we were loved up for a while, couldn’t keep hands off each other. In all this time though he has never tried to make me feel better, even though he knows I am still devastated about what he said. I do bum work outs 4 times a day, everyday. I cannot bare my bum. Can hardly look at it, everything I wear is to cover it.
He has made out since that night he doesn’t have a thing for big bums, he was confused, we weren’t getting on. Now things are good he realised he likes my bum because he loves me.
Tonight we were watching a film. The girl on it was very attractive, very small none existent bum. I asked him if he thought she was attractive, yes. Fine, she was, no issues. - relieved as she has small bum. I asked if he liked her bum, yes. So I said but she has a small hun I thought you liked big bums, he said he likes big bums as much as small bums.
Evening continued, everything fine but he started being distant. He went in kitchen came back in, asked why I was crying - I wasn’t. Then stormed off back in kitchen.
I am livid. So, he thought I was upset about the bum conversation tonight, so instead of reassuring me in someway gets angry and storms off?!!! Wtf. What a twat.
I called him out on it, he went mad, stormed off again in his car and gone.
I always let him walk all over me, I am sure af I am not going to sit here and say nothing that he thought I was crying and got angry about it!!! Who even does that. So cold.
Wouldn’t care, I wasn’t even crying.

Sure, OP, just get the most dangerous kind of plastic surgery there is (brazilian butt lift) so that your partner can have a woman who's closer to what he is training himself to look at in pornography. Porn is totally harmless, right everyone?

A bum man? I thought that kind of nonsense talk was long gone.

I take it he is a perfect specimen with a 10 inch cock, pert little squeezable bottom, and a 6 pack?

He’s a bum man. This is the most bizarre post I’ve seen in a long time.
Did I fall and bump my head?

If every time you had sex you knew your dp would prefer you to look another way how can that not make you feel horrible? If every time you walk down the street or from one room to another and you know a part of your body bothered your partner enough for you to have surgery how do you get past that? Seriously tell me how?

1 - You go back to the solicitor you talked to before.

2 - You get over your fear of being alone. You have just found out that there are worse things in life, right?

This is the funniest thread I have ever read

Hahaha Im dying at "when did you first see the CRACKS"

@Bigballer

Tell him you like big dicks. And you would fuck him every night if he had a big dick.

Exactly! How pathetic is he that this is even an issue? I’m sure most people would like to be the perfect human form but luckily strong relationships are about more than size. Sounds a bit like it’s an excuse or he’s too chicken to talk about how he really feels. I feel for you OP and YANBU X

I really can't work out why people have been so mean on this thread. The issue isn't with the bum thing. You are feeling insecure, and your partner should be able to recognise that and try to reassure you. To react to you being upset with anger is a massive red flag. It sounds like you aren't happy together anymore. If my partner made a joke about my bum like that, I would throw one right back at him, we would laugh and move on. I have no idea what my partner's "type" is, but its irrelevant because I am the mother of his child and he loves me. I'm sure that this is the case for most people, in your head you have the things that you typically find attractive, but you fall in love with someone because of the person that they are. Being in love with someone makes then attractive to you, even if they don't have every little tick on your checklist. The fact that it has become this huge issue in your relationship is a symptom of a relationship that isn't working. I think you're holding on because you don't want to be alone, which really isn't healthy. It just sounds like you aren't right for eachother. And crying because you don't have a bug bum? He sounds like a child op. There are much better men out there.

Crack on and give him the bum’s rush. He’s a total arse and you don’t need more people to get up at the crack of dawn to point out his obvious failings.

You need to stop

You might want to get this thread removed OP, clearly identifying... Sir Mix-a-lot is that you?

Your bum is not the problem, your self esteem is. I mean that kindly but seriously you can not let him or anyone else dictate your worth based on arbitrary body size ideals. You have a daughter? What would you tell her in this situation? Leave him, that's what- anyone who suggests you have surgery to make yourself fit their ideals is most definitely not a keeper. Leave him and work on your own sense of self worth.

Bumsnet

How could anybody think this thread is funny?
Really?
Take a good long look at yourselves. Somebody’s pain is not your evening’s entertainment. Do something else.

@Lexiconoflove

Bumsnet

😂😂😂😂

Are you that bored?

Watch some YouTube or something.
Leave the op alone.

Is this for real

You are measuring your entire relationship, and self esteem on the measurements of your backside?

I think people are responding to the utterly facial idea that adult relationships are based on any measurements of body parts. That relationships are usually based on far more than favoured parts of the body. How can you hang an entire ADULT relationship on whether he likes your bum or not?!

Op the size of your rear end is really the least of your worries if you are serious about this.

It sounds like you need to work on your self esteem because you’re lovely as you are and he was completely out of line saying any of that to you. Go back to that solicitor because there’s no point in continuing this relationship

Your relationship with dp should not depend on your size or looks, but on how much he values you as a person, and how much you value him as person. Does he get you in a really meaningful way?

Adult relationships are based on gentle intimacy, loyalty, shared values, kindness, common interests and most of all unconditional love regardless of your size. You are going to grow old, your backside is likely to disappear or become the size of a house. What then? You can not hang a relationship on sex and looks.

Your posts reminded me of when I was fourteen/fifteen years old and we all used to score each other out of ten. It is deeply unhealthy as an adult to still be measuring yourself in this way.

I honestly think that this relationship is going to continue to chip away at you. You will never feel ok with yourself while trying to live up to his 'ideal'. Bum exercises four times a day is totally OTT. Would you not prefer to do something else for all those times? Do you think he'd spend all that time doing something to 'improve' himself for you? Not a hope.

You need to let him go to find someone with a big bum and you need to find someone that loves you for who you are and hasn't had a sensitivity bypass.