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Original poster

What would you expect a man to say to this question?

297 replies

Goldsnow · 07/08/2021 21:25

He had his computer desk top messages open in view and a message was there from his ex asking if he wants her to give him a massage. He reply was 'sounds nice'.
Would you think he was still interested in her? Or just a nice brush off? What would you expect a man to say to this if he wasn't interested and didn't want to lead her on? Would his response be the same as this mans?

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldsnow · 08/08/2021 16:55

Correction - I don't think it equates to him STILL having a thing for her

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 08/08/2021 16:57

You sound rather invested in his communication with his ex. Just don't go on any more dates with him.

CambsAlways · 08/08/2021 16:58

I would bet they have been talking for a while before that message, that’s no brush off, I’d be showing him the door

Loveabitofrain · 08/08/2021 17:42

Crikey some of these responses!!

Men have a tendency (some) to be polite and I’d also think that MAY be a brush off. He didn’t ask when did he?! No commitment! Just being nice and I know men that have done this just to get the ex off their back.

Original poster
Goldsnow · 08/08/2021 18:01

@Loveabitofrain I only ask because he is a really nice guy and he may not have wanted to upset her. I do not believe he has feeling for her although I'm sure he could have replied in other ways and still not upset her.

OP posts:
Loveabitofrain · 08/08/2021 18:12

Some men are like this. They reply without thinking, then get drawn in and end up having to be a blunt. I know an older lady that just wouldn’t let it go with a guy I know. Ignoring didn’t work and he was loathe to block because he knew her home life wasn’t great. It became less and less In terms of messaging, but every now and again she pops up! Some women (and men) are just relentless!!

FuckingFabulous · 08/08/2021 18:13

Is he a masseur?

If not, he's not exactly giving her the brush off

BlueSurfer · 08/08/2021 18:17

I’m guessing you really like him as you seem determined to find an excuse here.

It sounds like their relationship isn’t completely over and they are probably still having sex whilst he decides if he prefers you or somebody else he has met. Do you really want to be one of many in that situation?

The polite thing would be to have not let the conversation get to that stage, say no, or completely ignore/block. His reply was a come on and you seem to be the only one unable to see this.

Original poster
Goldsnow · 08/08/2021 18:25

Neither are masseurs.

The conversations prior to this was her asking to see him with him saying he is busy. It seemed to be her initiating contact but it is he who seems happy to chat about his life etc. With him calling her pet names at times. The last massage was about the massage.

Hope this adds more context.

OP posts:
BlueSurfer · 08/08/2021 18:28

I’d be inclined to chalk it up to experience and decline further dates.

excelledyourself · 08/08/2021 18:29

You managed to read quite a lot of his private messages for just having "popped" in to his office by chance

Original poster
Goldsnow · 08/08/2021 18:33

I probably looked longer than I should have. I'm not sure what to make of the situation, it was friendly chit chat and we are only one date in.

OP posts:
Keepitonthedownlow · 08/08/2021 18:36

You could continue to date and shortly have the conversation about being 'exclusive' and ask him if he has any unfinished business with exes etc.

CambsAlways · 08/08/2021 18:43

You sound as if you really like this guy, but him calling her pet names and his answer was def not a brush off, it’s up to you of course whether to carry on seeing him for future dates, but for me it would be a no no, I get the feeling you will ignore what others are advising.

Bluntness100 · 08/08/2021 18:49

Ah op, I feel for you. You’re desperately trying to minimise so it’s not exactly what it is. I’m sorry. There will be others. 💐

Original poster
Goldsnow · 08/08/2021 19:14

I'm not trying to minimise it. I just want to her other peoples honest opinion as he is a friendly guy and he would never want to come across as rude or upset anyone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldsnow · 08/08/2021 19:15

Hear

OP posts:
category12 · 08/08/2021 19:17

I think you're reaching.

Original poster
Goldsnow · 08/08/2021 19:21

@category12 can I ask what you mean by this?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 08/08/2021 19:31

They're literally either still sleeping together or wanting to sleep together and you're convincing yourself that that's not the case despite the glaringly obvious signs.

You've been on one date and seen all of his messages with his ex and you're defending him like he's your husband of 15 years that you caught shagging the nanny.

It's bizarre.

category12 · 08/08/2021 19:35

[quote Goldsnow]@category12 can I ask what you mean by this?[/quote]
You're grasping for any interpretation that doesn't mean he was flirting back/responding to her advances. "Sounds nice" is far from a no.

Original poster
Goldsnow · 08/08/2021 19:48

I do believe she is trying/wants to sleep with him. However from his response I believe he could have been trying to avoid the question.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 08/08/2021 19:50

@Goldsnow

I do believe she is trying/wants to sleep with him. However from his response I believe he could have been trying to avoid the question.
To do that he'd have said 'no thanks' it 'that's inappropriate - we're not together anymore' or have ignored her.

He wouldn't have said it sounds nice...

Original poster
Goldsnow · 08/08/2021 19:54

@girlmom21 thing is, that is just not him. That would come across as rude or could upset. I think this is where people are confusing this with me defending him. I'm purely trying to explain his character i.e. he would never want to upset/embarrass anyone.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 08/08/2021 19:56

@Goldsnow

I do believe she is trying/wants to sleep with him. However from his response I believe he could have been trying to avoid the question.
What part of sounds nice makes you think that?

It’s defintely not avoiding it. He’s directly responded and said the thought of her massaging him sounds nice to him. Generally avoiding the question would be something like “lol, shit weather isn’t it” .