What would you expect a man to say to this question?

[Goldsnow]

He had his computer desk top messages open in view and a message was there from his ex asking if he wants her to give him a massage. He reply was 'sounds nice'.
Would you think he was still interested in her? Or just a nice brush off? What would you expect a man to say to this if he wasn't interested and didn't want to lead her on? Would his response be the same as this mans?

@Goldsnow

Apologies I should have mentioned first that this man is single. We have been on one date and I noticed the messages today. He is a nice guy so maybe he didn't want to hurt her feelings?

It's not a brush off.

You seem over-invested for someone who's been on one date with the guy.

Well, she's over-invested in that if he's still hankering after his ex, then she'll drop him, I assume.

@GoldsnowXDownwiththissortofthingX

She is definitely not a masseuse.

You've been on one date and you are nosing at his messages and invading his privacy? Maybe he's still with her, but maybe you aren't compatible either.

Don't go on a 2nd date with him.

@ArthurApples have you read the thread

So..of it was his desktop computer and you’ve been on one date..you saw this whole ON the date with him? He left a message open and in view saying that?

@MrsEricBana

Would that not be extreme? He is single and we have only been on one date up to now.

@SilverRoe
He had no idea I was where he had his desk top. It was by total chance that I seen it

Oh ok. Well…i guess it would seem to me like they were still pretty involved past the boundaries of friendship tbh. I’d not go for date two!

You've been on one date but you've seen his desktop? Do you work together? I mean yeah obviously he's keeping his options open and hopes to at least keep having sex with her if not a full relationship. So as a potential partner he's pretty much a non starter.

[quote Goldsnow]@SilverRoe
He had no idea I was where he had his desk top. It was by total chance that I seen it[/quote]
How is this?

You give him a swerve.

@excelledyourself

We work together but in different offices. I popped in on a off chance.

So his ex works there too?

@excelledyourself no his ex does not work there.

To add - they were not together long and it was nothing serious and they have no children together.

What's the desktop messaging then?

They Still have feelings for each other

@Wombat64

Asked DH.

He says yes, he's still interested in her.

You shouldn't need someone with a penis to confirm it's not a brush off 😂

Oh you've been on one date? Probably best not to be looking at his desktop then, that is a bit odd and he might still like his ex but also be open to dating other people? Don't know that that is wrong unless he's made out he is dating you exclusively?

sounds like you might be the ex...sorry

I think after 1 date you are pissing in the wind. After s year, you'd have a point.

He’s leaving the door open. You’ve only been on one date and he’s keeping his ex on the back burner in case he decides to go back.

If he was interested in her I'd expect him to give a response like the one he has. Brush off? No way, it's short but he's done the opposite of reject her hasn't he?

You've found yourself in a good position OP. I doubt he'd ever tell you him and his ex exchange these kinds of messages and who knows what else. I wouldn't be taking on any messy ex dregs, there would be no second date.