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Original poster

What would you expect a man to say to this question?

297 replies

Goldsnow · 07/08/2021 21:25

He had his computer desk top messages open in view and a message was there from his ex asking if he wants her to give him a massage. He reply was 'sounds nice'.
Would you think he was still interested in her? Or just a nice brush off? What would you expect a man to say to this if he wasn't interested and didn't want to lead her on? Would his response be the same as this mans?

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldsnow · 11/08/2021 21:19

@Keepitonthedownlow agree.

I really don't understand the outrage either Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldsnow · 11/08/2021 21:20

Page 12! This is amazing 😂

OP posts:
pommepommefrites · 11/08/2021 21:26

He's probably had several massages whilst op has been busy analysing his reply. Go on the dates op, have a massage-off with the ex, baby oil and b&m Yankee candles at dawn.

Original poster
Goldsnow · 11/08/2021 21:32

@pommepommefrites even if he has had several messages, WE ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP! Good lord I am NOT in a relationship with the poor guy 😂

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Peach01 · 11/08/2021 22:05

@category12 the point I was making by Go on as many dates as you like knowing he flirts with other women. Is that OP is clearly bothered by it, to analyse it to this point. Doesn't make much sense when it's said in the same breath as "he's not doing anything wrong" it's either an issue or it isn't.

Blackbird2020 · 11/08/2021 22:14

Where’s my graph...

Peach01 · 11/08/2021 22:36

[quote Goldsnow]@Keepitonthedownlow agree.

I really don't understand the outrage either Confused[/quote]
🙉 the nature of the thread is that posters are perplexed as to why you read his private messages to his ex, analysing their relationship, calling what you seen a red flag but saying it's all okay because you're not together. You've had one date. It's not outrage, it's confusion.

Original poster
Goldsnow · 12/08/2021 11:22

To repeat, the point of the thread was to get others opinions of his 'sounds nice' realise as initially I thought he was giving her a polite brush of. However, after hearing an outsider view, Iagree it is not a polite brush off. I also agree that red flag, bin him and so on is rather extreme once now in perspective and the outrage is baffling to say the least.

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldsnow · 12/08/2021 11:24

Apologies for the typos

OP posts:
summercupcake · 12/08/2021 11:27

He shouldn't have even responded to that message, it's inappropriate he hasn't called her up on it straight away and put a stop to it.

It is concerning that you thought this might be acceptable and just a polite brush off - you need to examine your boundaries and self worth.

Peach01 · 12/08/2021 11:45

So what difference has it made realising it's not a polite brush off and that this wasn't the only response he could give without being rude?
You yourself referred to it as a red flag. I agree with posts about examining boundaries, you're excuses to accept behaviours you deem as red flags. You've been on one date with this man. Why would you feel it's appropriate to read through his private messages? You bu g around his desk to read these messages when he wasn't in the room. That's worse than him being in contact with his ex.

Haven't seen any outrage here, more confusion that the thread has been pointless because even when you've came to the conclusion yourself it's a red flag you justify with an alternative solution to continue to date him.

beastlyslumber · 12/08/2021 12:12

The only outrage on this thread has been from the OP when challenged on her behaviour and boundaries.

Original poster
Goldsnow · 12/08/2021 12:25

Calm down ladies, the outrage is unnecessary. Yes I referred to it as a red flag - I no longer believe this as now I have processed the situation - he has no loyalties to me yet nor anyone else and to also repeat, the messages were there on show, I did not go looking for them. So yes with the above facts I feel the outrage and confusion is absolutely bizarre.

I don't believe he is interested in her anyhow.

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldsnow · 12/08/2021 12:30

@summercupcake why should he call her up on it? How do you know he doesn't like it? How would you know he doesn't want to get back with her?

He is single, I repeat HE IS SINGLE.

OP posts:
Peach01 · 12/08/2021 13:52

You had no obligation to read his private messages. You barely have a connection to him after 1 date. You've been saying he has no loyalties to you prior to you mentioning you deem it as a red flag, unsure why that's all of a sudden a justification for it to somehow not be a red flag. If you need clarity on why it's confusing - After 1 date you invaded his privacy, obsessed over the deeper meaning of their exchanges, then use any excuse to turn a blind eye anyway. Makes the whole ordeal pointless. Why would you read through his messages, what was your motivation?
You're saying he has no loyalties- that sounds sensible at this stage but your actions suggest you're heavily invested.

The only thing bizarre is how messy it is after 1 date, mainly because you read through his private messages when he had left a room. If you can do that after 1 date, it's a habit you'll no doubt continue throughout dating this man.

He is single, I repeat HE IS SINGLE
What is the problem then? Pointless. I give in. You're right he's not interested in her, they probably don't speak already and have no intention to rub each other naked.

Original poster
Goldsnow · 12/08/2021 14:41

@Peach01 if you would care to read my posts before responding, you will see my saying now that it is put in perspective, I do not see it as a red flag. Again if you care to read my posts you will also find out no one's privacy was invaded.

OP posts:
Peach01 · 12/08/2021 14:59

I read them before responding, thanks and you'll find a way to over look anything that you see as problematic.

You went to see him, he wasn't in the room, instead of leaving you stayed and read through private messages between him and another woman (his ex) without his knowledge. A man whom you've been on 1 date with. There's something wrong here if you believe that's not an invasion of privacy. This is something else. You must be aware you were doing something you shouldn't be, or you would ask him rather than obsess on MN about what it may or may not mean. OP I'm out.

category12 · 12/08/2021 20:08

But who will keep the thread going, if you give up now?

CambsAlways · 12/08/2021 21:44

Not me 🤣

Original poster
Goldsnow · 12/08/2021 21:54

@Peach01 he left them in clear view therefore no invasion of privacy occurred. I posted to hear others opinions of 'it sounds nice' in which you appear to be outraged about. Gosh the poor man is single 😂 he hadn't exactly committed adultry has he.

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Original poster
Goldsnow · 12/08/2021 21:56

@category12 😂 I have a feeling she will be back.

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Starseeking · 12/08/2021 22:46

It sounds like he is keeping all options open.

So not outright turning her down with his sounds nice, but leaving the door ajar, as he is clearly aware she is still interested.

If he's also going on dates with you, and it doesn't work out, he wants to make sure he has a fallback to keep his bed warm.

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