What would you expect a man to say to this question?

[Goldsnow]

He had his computer desk top messages open in view and a message was there from his ex asking if he wants her to give him a massage. He reply was 'sounds nice'.
Would you think he was still interested in her? Or just a nice brush off? What would you expect a man to say to this if he wasn't interested and didn't want to lead her on? Would his response be the same as this mans?

@Anordinarymum what is it that is so hard to believe? Its not exactly a shocking hard to believe scenario

This thread is still going?!

I think Goldsnow is trying to break the Mumsnet record for longest running thread based on asking the same question repeatedly

It just keeps on giving . Can anyone tell me the overall concensus of the thread before we wrap it up?

OP, are you compiling the responses into categories? I hope we get at least a graph out of this...

No, you should provide US with the summary!

Majority opinion has been yes he's flirting.

Significant number came on just to tell you that's you're an awful awful person for snooping. Some quite vociferously.

Tiny minority thought it was possible he's gently rebuffing her.

@Blackbird2020

@category12 Thank you

And for the record - I was not SNOOPING

You'll bring 'em all back saying that

I thought it would be funny to give you some figures, so I counted some responses:

41 Not a brush offs
6 Could be a brush-off/why's it any of your business anyway you're not exclusives
5 why are you snooping, snoopy-face
A few "is she a masseuse" and other random/pertinent questions

At which point I got bored and I wondered what the hell I'm doing with my life .

You both have piss-poor boundaries, which is going to be a big problem.

@WhatMattersMost

Well I for one, if I’d been on a date with a guy and popped into his office and there were messages on the screen for all and sundry to look at FROM HIS EX, I’d definitely read them.

Who wouldn’t in that scenario?

I mean, if she’d hacked into his phone fair enough. But then maybe I too have piss poor boundaries (or I’m just bloody normal)

Goldsnow how did the first date go?

@category12 brilliant!

@Baberuthie it went well. He is a nice guy, very laid back. The only red flag is his message exchange with his ex.

[quote Bookworm20]@WhatMattersMost

Well I for one, if I’d been on a date with a guy and popped into his office and there were messages on the screen for all and sundry to look at FROM HIS EX, I’d definitely read them.

Who wouldn’t in that scenario?

I mean, if she’d hacked into his phone fair enough. But then maybe I too have piss poor boundaries (or I’m just bloody normal)[/quote]
I'm not talking about reading the messages; I'm talking about not acting on that information immediately and calling it quits with him.

Goldsnow I suppose see how it goes? Realise you might not be his only option right now? Keep your own options open, too, would be my advice.

I'm not talking about reading the messages; I'm talking about not acting on that information immediately and calling it quits with him

We have only been on one date, he's not exactly cheating on me

[quote Goldsnow]@Baberuthie it went well. He is a nice guy, very laid back. The only red flag is his message exchange with his ex.[/quote]
Oh if the only red flag is his ex then he must be an absolute catch...

You're thinking too much into this. He's obviously still got a connection with her, but you've been on one date, so just bin.

@cookiecreampie bin him for his response? He hasn't cheated nor are we together

The only red flag is his message exchange with his ex.
If you keep ignoring anything you deem as a red flag then it's set up for failure.
Before you read the messages did any part of you have seond thoughts about doing it?

You'll likely never know the full story with his ex. If you ask him, he'll tell you a version that's suitable for a woman who he's only been out with once. He could be vague, he could play it down for the benefit of keeping you as an option.

You know more about them than you'll let on because you're not going to tell him that you read their messages when he had left the room.

You'll go on the second date knowing about the messages but with more questions than answers and he'll go on the date not knowing that you've invaded his privacy.

No good has came from reading the messages, unless you were going to do something about the red flag. I'm not sure why you would want to read the messages of a man you've only had one date with.

@Goldsnow

I'm not talking about reading the messages; I'm talking about not acting on that information immediately and calling it quits with him

We have only been on one date, he's not exactly cheating on me

I don't think you're aware of what I'm talking about, so I'll leave it at that.

I"m confused what the point of this thread is.

You've asked if we think he's still interested in his ex. The majority of us have said 'Yes.'

But you've ignored that, and are still planning a second date with him anyway.

Well, your life, your choice etc.

I’m also very confused at the point of this thread too .greenfingers , even after 249 messages from different people giving opinions, she’s saying they aren’t together but planning a second date, so she wants to continue, that’s her choice obviously, trying to fathom all this is making me go stir crazy 🙄🙄 I’m out!

@WhatMattersMost I don't think you are actually aware of what you're talking about yourself to be quite honest.