He has just used me hasn't he? Do I give up now with some dignity left?

[Nightqueen]

I met a guy through mutual friends, we hit it off from the start. He took me out, he was always avaliable, made plans to see me, never once cancelled. We sleep together for the first time and he is now suddenly unavailable. Two times I have suggested we meet and he declined one and cancelled the other. I've been used haven't I? Do I just stop all contact with him now? I've tried to give him the benefit of doubt but he has never done this before we slept together.

Yes give up with dignity. Right now.

Or…If you want to you could text something like, “oh - I get it, you used me. Go fuck yourself from now on.”

Just leave it. If he was into you he would be seeing you. He may not have used you- he may have his own issues or maybe he didn't enjoy the sex. Who knows? Either way just leave him to it

Give up now. When you get the likely late night booty call a bit further on, you can send a withering put down and then block. That's the best denouement.

maybe he didn't enjoy the sex. Who knows? Either way just leave him to it

Can you really judge from the first time? I mean it wasn't mind blowing but it very rarely is the first time.

Does it matter if he enjoyed it, if he has disappeared?
No doubt he'll resurface in a couple of weeks time, with an excuse.
Then tell him to piss off.

I really liked him I do believe it was the sex. It was very boring and now I'm hoping to see him to prove it can be better. Make up for the first time if you will. He doesn't seem interested it that - just wants to write it off after one time

Aww, it is horrible to think someone can switch the charm on and off like a tap.
Will it help to say you're worth better? Because you are.
Nobody should be discarded like that.

Agree with others just walk away with dignity. Whatever his issues you're worth much more OP x

Ugh I really hate when people tell a woman it was that the sex was rubbish and that’s why she hasn’t heard from him?! I mean seriously what a shit thing to say and make someone feel bad, that’s just excusing bad behaviour of men who sleep with people then disappear as a way to blame the woman when in reality it’s far more likely he was only after sex and has now lost interest and it’s nothing personal to the op! Nothing to do with the sex being rubbish and him not enjoying it

Sounds like a prize bell end that you’re better off without op. Lucky escape I say. It’s awful to think that people actually do this shit just to get a shag

Bad manners from him 100%

You may not have been used, but the man child you let into your bed maybe having a hard time telling you how he feels post-coitus.

Whatever the reason. Probably not someone you want to associate yourself with. Hope you enjoyed the sex at least.

His nan had just died a couple of days prior to him cancelling and we kept in contact after sleeping together albeit getting mixed messages from him.

Just leave it.

This has never happened to me before and I feel embarrassed that I kept trying with him. To be fair it's only been one week today but tonight I have been reading back the messages I sent him and wish I didn't send them (just overly nice messages) but he didn't deserve them and was probably viewing me as weak or desperate

His nan died. Stop overthinking it and back off quietly. Bluntly, you seem too keen.

STOP 🔴

focus on anything.. books .. films.. tv.. exercise.. walks..

do not waste any more of your time, on a Tosser, who got what he wanted and ghosts you thereafter .. He is not a good person..

you know you deserve better.. so choose You OP.. 🌸

So he slept with you after his Gran died .. then ghosted you

what a Prince 🙄

If he was interested, he would show some interest, but he isn't interested now, so don't contact him, and don't bother about him now.

Oh dear his nan died. Or did she? Perfect bullshit excuse from a practised liar, possibly?

You were unlucky OP because he’s a twat but it really is best that you found out quickly and your feelings about it all will settle sooner than you think. He’s probably done it to plenty of women.

I’m not sure used is the right term. Unless you feel that you’re owed a relationship if you have sex with someone? He has behaved poorly but if it’s not working it’s not working, move on.

You wanted to meet again and prove to him the sex could be better? Why should you be the one to prove it? It takes two to tango. If it was boring it may be that he needs to up his game, not you!

@AtrociousCircumstance I know his nan did die 2 days before he cancelled because I know a couple of his family members but I'm also aware he could have still seen me if he wanted to.

@Bluntness100 I wish it was so easy.

He has been contacting me and being affectionate but when I suggested meeting he seems uninterested

I feel so sad I can feel he is no longer interested in me but he won't tell me.

@PumpkinKlNG totally agree.
This guy doesn’t deserve another thought. It’s only been a week and you are def over invested. Next time keep your guard up…for months if not years.