He has just used me hasn't he? Do I give up now with some dignity left?

[Nightqueen]

I met a guy through mutual friends, we hit it off from the start. He took me out, he was always avaliable, made plans to see me, never once cancelled. We sleep together for the first time and he is now suddenly unavailable. Two times I have suggested we meet and he declined one and cancelled the other. I've been used haven't I? Do I just stop all contact with him now? I've tried to give him the benefit of doubt but he has never done this before we slept together.

@QueenBee52

STOP 🔴

focus on anything.. books .. films.. tv.. exercise.. walks..

do not waste any more of your time, on a Tosser, who got what he wanted and ghosts you thereafter .. He is not a good person..

you know you deserve better.. so choose You OP.. 🌸

Best post! ❤️

I feel for you and think you have been used by a Dickhead! I wouldnt contact him any more .If his Nan had died ,then he is probably not feeling very good ATM .If not then he is just being an asshole and playing games with you .

He could be a user or it could be you just being over sensitive.
It is not going to be the sex as most men don’t really care especially the first time.

I would just be a bit more unavailable. Be nice but don’t ask him out again, let him ask you.
If it goes a couple of weeks and he’s not asked to meet up then find someone else.

But make sure it doesn’t turn into him only wanting to meet for sex.

Hey now. I crossed out limp dick 😂

Hey now. I crossed out limp dick

I was tempted at one point 😂. This thread has really helped! Thank you all

@Nightqueen if you've been getting mixed messages from the start then that's different. I couldn't be bothered with someone like that.

@Nightqueen

I met a guy through mutual friends, we hit it off from the start. He took me out, he was always avaliable, made plans to see me, never once cancelled. We sleep together for the first time and he is now suddenly unavailable. Two times I have suggested we meet and he declined one and cancelled the other. I've been used haven't I? Do I just stop all contact with him now? I've tried to give him the benefit of doubt but he has never done this before we slept together.

I think you have your answer.

Hi OP. It’s shit if he’s used you and understandable for you to feel hurt. He’s a dickhead if so.

However, it may not genuinely be the case here. His Nan has just died a few days after you two slept together. That’s quite a big variable/reason for him not being sociable and keen to meet up at the moment.

What you should have done is when he told you his Nan died was to text back something along the lines of “I’m so sorry to hear that. Thoughts with you and your family. She sounded like an amazing woman. Completely understandable that you need time right now to yourself to process and to be with your family. I’m here if you ever need support or someone to talk to xx” or something to that effect.

And then leave it for like a few weeks or so. If him and his Nan were close, it would probably be a difficult time for him and the last thing he’s thinking about is meeting up. He may need to be with his family right now and want to get the funeral arrangements out the way before commencing the relationship with you further.

Give it a few weeks and if he hasn’t reached out to you by then then you will have your answer. Don’t feel deflated now.

Oh and don’t worry about the sex OP. As other posters have said, most men don’t care at all and genuinely 100% crap sex that nobody would ever go back for seconds for is quite rare. You’d have to be pretty much like a corpse. Most people aren’t porn stars in bed and even then I’m pretty sure most porn stars have quite regular normal sex off-camera when they are in romantic relationships with people. Nobody is on their 10/10 best sex game first time round, everyone knows this and I promise 99% of people don’t care. They’re too concerned with their own performance.

@Morgoth thank you. I did send a similar text when he told me. Yes I agree time will tell.