Would you leave your 15/16yr old to move abroad?

[Horehound]

Just wondering how many parents would make this decision really.
15/16yr old fairly young for their age but adamant they don't want to move abroad and school on a foreign school for one year nor leave their boyfriend and friends.

You're moving because your husband was made redundant, no work around and has been offered a job abroad.

Would you make your child go or what would you do?

I think that's a bit different because the home base is still there. I'd also expect they get quite a good level of financial support. In OP's case, home was dismantled, and her parents charged her rent.

I suppose it's swings and roundabouts. Those positives are true but these 14 year olds would arrive in a foreign country, get picked up and taken to live with strangers. I'm not sure that financial support makes up for that, some of these seemed to go home alot but some didn't, maybe different families had different finances.

My parents did this and the repercussions were never ending. If there is anyone on here who knows me this might be outing.

I was 5 when my parents left the UK for one country leaving my 4 siblings behind and homeless. They ranged between 10-15 years older than me. 6 years later my parents moved to a second country taking me with them. The others were already adults and had to fend for themselves.

All of my siblings have spent the rest of their lives blaming my parents for breaking up the family and everything that has gone wrong in their lives. We are all now in our 50s and 60s.

Having brought up my children now and seen them grow up I would have hated not to be around to give them the support they needed; but also I would have missed out on so much joy. Why would anyone want to miss that?

@MEgirl gosh I'm not surprised. How they could have thought doing that was a good idea..it's unfathomable to me.

@Mischance

Having brought up my children now and seen them grow up I would have hated not to be around to give them the support they needed; but also I would have missed out on so much joy. Why would anyone want to miss that?

Yes and this is what goes around in my head. "Why did my parents not want to see me/be with me?" And even though we do have a better relationship now, I still feel it sometimes. I can always see mum prioritizing dad

@MiddleAgedLurker

I think that the earlier neglect your parents showed by palming you off on your grandparents while they set up their own business, evening separating you from your brother, is at the heart of this. My late DH was sent off to boarding school at 8, as was his sister. I think it was damaging. His parents loved them and they them, but it was a poor decision. They also spent lots of time in the holidays with other relatives. It wasn't a complete train wreck but it took a lot of work for DH feel emotionally secure. It does sound like your parents were very wrapped up in each other, and maybe part of it was to do with their own upbringing, how things were in those days and so on. But essentially it was ill considered and neglectful. Therapy sounds helpful, maybe focusing on acknowledging their neglect and the validity of your feelings, and how to forgive them. It doesn't mean condoning what they did, but accepting they acted badly but they do love you in their own way. It does sound as if there are good things in your relationship now.

Yes definitely and I do know they love us. It is definitely something I just need to come to acceptance with...I can't change it! All I can do is make sure I am there for my children and i know I always will be