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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Fuck fuck fuck someone speak to me please

433 replies

RozHuntleysLeftHand · 25/07/2021 23:42

My fucking worst nightmare has just been fucking realised and its really bizarre and I am freaking the actual fuck out.

Too much to put in one post....I cant fucking think straight.

A while ago I posted that "D"p hencforth known as Lying Cunt Face had been talking to his ex behind my back.
(been together 12 years, 1 DC age 9, they have 2 DC both in their 20s)

He touted the idea of taking DS to visit his frail, elderly mum this week, with the DSC, great I get a break, plus he also pushed that as it was my Nans funeral last week and I was miserable, that it would give me a chance to heal.

For some reason I was suspicious that ex would be going, but I told myself I was being crazy paranoid, I don't even know why I suspected but I fucking did.

Well it turns out I was fucking right.

I got suspicious cos despite repeated requests to let DS call me/ just text me I got no reply. (and who fucking does that anyway? I just wanted a quick call at bed time ffs)

So eventually I get a call, and DS lets slip the girls Mum is fucking there.

DP refuses to discuss it and says "I knew you'd be like this which is why I didn't tell you".

Well fucking yeah!!

If he'd been honest from the start....but even then....

I had to be all bright and breezy on the phone to DS....but I'm fucking shaking and my mental health was already shot and this.....

I want my baby home.

I'm fucking shocked and angry and so so sad.

HELP ME

OP posts:
VaggieMight · 27/07/2021 10:27

I hope OP is ok too. She's had an unnecessary hard time from some posters. I do wonder why some people bother to post. OP is clearly having a crisis. I'm hoping she has some support IRL. This thread was probably the last thing she needed.

Hopingforabagofbuttons · 27/07/2021 11:14

Mzombie you sound very bitter. I feel sorry for you to be in so much pain, it sucks.

EmeraldShamrock · 27/07/2021 12:09

It's worrying she hasn't been back.
Let's hope her pal came over.

QueenCoconut · 27/07/2021 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

korawick12345 · 27/07/2021 12:52

@EmeraldShamrock

It's worrying she hasn't been back. Let's hope her pal came over.
TBF she never returned to her previous thread which was also quite heated
NoNotYou · 28/07/2021 12:04

@RozHuntleysLeftHand

Oh god he's been encouraging me to go away as often as he can recently.

I can't at the moment anyway, and thought he was being nice but now I'm sooo suspicious.

Can you track him when he's out?? See where he goes?
MZombie · 28/07/2021 19:23

Lol. Quite some presumptions there. I have nothing to be bitter about so not sure where that came from but you're welcome to make things up as you wish.

I was simply pointing out how it's odd that the OP is surprised that her husband is a liar when their entire relationship, by her own admission, was based on lies from the start.

Itstimetoquit · 29/07/2021 00:32

How are you op x

PolkadotSkies · 29/07/2021 00:44

Presumably having a row with said liar that involves much more lying. 🤷🏻‍♀️

PolkadotSkies · 29/07/2021 04:00

@korawick12345 what a shock! Or nor. 🧐

PolkadotSkies · 29/07/2021 04:01

*not!

PolkadotSkies · 29/07/2021 04:08

@VaggieMight

I hope OP is ok too. She's had an unnecessary hard time from some posters. I do wonder why some people bother to post. OP is clearly having a crisis. I'm hoping she has some support IRL. This thread was probably the last thing she needed.
Yeah. The fatjer of her children running off and leaving her with two kids was probably the last thing his wife needed when the OP decided to have an affair with him. This is all very sad, especially for the little boy stuck in the middle of the newest carnage the OP and her "DH" have created. And I'm sure it's also upsetting for the older children who are probably still damaged by their father's affair with the OP and subsequent family breakup. It's all really sad, tacky, selfish and a crappy way to treat children. It's sad so many people think this is ok.
EvenleyWitch · 29/07/2021 04:21

@Notwavingbutdrowing3

But if OP is being unreasonable and aggro about it, I'm not surprised he lied for a bit of peace
How would you feel if your husband said he was taking the children away to visit his mother and then you found out he'd taken his ex with him after lying to you about it?.

Lying is never a wise choice if u want fo keep trust in a relationship

EvenleyWitch · 29/07/2021 04:23

@ShesComeUndone

I’m confused is he cheating? I know lots of divorced women who are still friends with their ex mother-in-laws so she might have just wanted to visit too. You sound like you might be jumping to conclusions. Has he cheated before? I could understand if it was a new woman he was taking to see his mum but this is his ex-wife and with all the children in tow!
First off, the 'children' are fully grown adultS.

Secondly, he lied about it.

Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed too

EvenleyWitch · 29/07/2021 04:26

@minipie

He was making time for her (from the texts I accidentally saw a while ago) when he was not even talking to me about DS during the day.

Ok I understand why you’d be annoyed about this, but this doesn’t mean there’s anything sinister going on.

More likely he didn’t tell you she was coming with because you’d reacted so badly to him texting her

People are allowed to stay friends with their exes…

And go on overnight stays with them while lying about it.

Oh yep, no problems there.

PolkadotSkies · 29/07/2021 04:39

First off, the 'children' are fully grown adultS.

They are now. They weren't when the OP started having an affair with their father, who was still married to and living with their mother at the time. According to her the children were 8 years old when she did that. Uuugh.

PolkadotSkies · 29/07/2021 04:41

And is shocked that he's still a liar now. Why the surprise? She's so special he would never do it to her? 😂 Or what?

fourminutestosavetheworld · 29/07/2021 07:10

It doesn't sound as if the relationship will survive this does it. It's not just the trip with his ex, but the fact he doesn't care that op is at home worrying about it and anxious. He won't even answer the phone or reply to texts, which seems contemptuous to me. I'd expect him to come back and end it op, not necessarily a bad thing as sounds like you'll be better off without him.

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 29/07/2021 07:40

Hey @RozHuntleysLeftHand are you ok? Did they come home yesterday?

VanGoSunflowers · 29/07/2021 07:40

If I was the OP, I’d want this thread removed now. There are so many bitter women posting on here. I just can’t fathom anyone who gets a thrill out of kicking someone when they’re down. Complete lack of compassion and empathy.

aSofaNearYou · 29/07/2021 10:26

@PolkadotSkies

And is shocked that he's still a liar now. Why the surprise? She's so special he would never do it to her? 😂 Or what?
The irony is you think you have the moral high ground here but you're actually coming across as absolutely fucking awful.
AlexisRoseBoop · 29/07/2021 10:48

How are things now OP? I hope you’re ok.

iamtheoneandonlyyy · 30/07/2021 16:38

OP has probably abandoned the post after so many nasty replies.
If you read this OP, I hope you're ok. The behaviour is not ok

Myshitisreal · 30/07/2021 16:54

It is appalling. I can't put into words how disgusting it is to read.

People just love to get the boot in. Vile.

PolkadotSkies · 30/07/2021 21:01

It is not "bitter" or "vile" or "absolutely fucking awful" to point out the facts of a situation.