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Original poster

Dating Thread 208 - sausage fest summer

991 replies

Dancerinthemoonlight · 23/07/2021 11:56

The Rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. Know your worth.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
BelladiMamma · 05/08/2021 10:43

@Bbub

Oh I tried to post but lost it...

Quick Q, does anyone have date 0 on Saturday evenings? Or is it a weird night for a date?

Mr Italy asked me out for Friday but I'm busy, want to suggest Sat but don't want him to say "oh no duhhh I'm going to a massive party on Sat night as I'm young and fun, why, aren't you already going out on a mad one you loser"

It's possible that I could be over thinking this..

Saturday is fine but you might want to make it a chilled location? I don't think it makes you look strange. Social lives aren't back to normal yet
Bbub · 05/08/2021 10:44

@BelladiMamma ah yeah lots of men may do the same on bumble and swipe on everyone without looking at profiles. So not to say they wouldn't have swiped on you anyway 😎 but one guy told me he "swiped right on everyone and sorted it out later" 🙄😂

Bbub · 05/08/2021 10:45

@BelladiMamma thank you and good point about the location. I met one guy on a Friday recently and the music was blaring we could hardly hear each other

Isitreallyme177 · 05/08/2021 10:52

@Shuffleuplove I think @BelladiMamma puts it all perfectly. I was called cold and hard work because I didn't fall over myself when someone sent me a dick pic. I was offered money by one guy for sex, another did a video call and was having a wank, another just wanted way to much personal information about why my marriage failed (Mr Cricket has never asked and I've never asked him, but he also knows I'm still friends with my ex just like he is on good terms with his ex). So after all the trauma of that I decided to quit OLD for my own sanity. I'm not sure what I was expecting but it certainly wasn't that.

VanGoghsDog · 05/08/2021 10:58

Bumble with completed profile and pictures. If match with them over half of them message so I don't think it's all bots 🤖

Bumble tells me that my snoozed profile has over fifty likes. My profile picture has my hair all over my face, you can literally see one eye. And I'm not smiling.

I'd go on a Sat night. Maybe frame it as "actually, I do happen to be free Saturday" to make it sound as if it's unusual for you?
It's never occurred to me to think what actual days I see people before.

dancemom · 05/08/2021 11:31

I get likes when my profile is hidden, I take it all with a pinch of salt

Yy to some men swiping on everyone too, it's a thing

MayEye · 05/08/2021 11:40

Have never thought about the Saturday night thing before either! Don’t think it’s an issue, if they are free and want to see you it won’t cost them a thought.
I hope to have a date zero this weekend on Saturday myself. To be decided!

Dee03 · 05/08/2021 11:59

Well I've agreed to meeting up with Mr Train on Monday....plenty of msging last night, he then says we could get a takeaway, have a few drinks at his place and I could stay over!!!! On a first date!!!
My reaction was to say i think we should meet elsewhere first and if things flowed in that direction then possibly!
Thoughts???

BelladiMamma · 05/08/2021 12:05

[quote Bbub]@BelladiMamma ah yeah lots of men may do the same on bumble and swipe on everyone without looking at profiles. So not to say they wouldn't have swiped on you anyway 😎 but one guy told me he "swiped right on everyone and sorted it out later" 🙄😂[/quote]
Really thought through strategy that isn't it 🤔🤣

BelladiMamma · 05/08/2021 12:06

[quote Isitreallyme177]**@Shuffleuplove* I think @BelladiMamma* puts it all perfectly. I was called cold and hard work because I didn't fall over myself when someone sent me a dick pic. I was offered money by one guy for sex, another did a video call and was having a wank, another just wanted way to much personal information about why my marriage failed (Mr Cricket has never asked and I've never asked him, but he also knows I'm still friends with my ex just like he is on good terms with his ex). So after all the trauma of that I decided to quit OLD for my own sanity. I'm not sure what I was expecting but it certainly wasn't that.[/quote]
🤢I've had the video call wank as well. It's possibly just the worst

BelladiMamma · 05/08/2021 12:07

@Dee03

Well I've agreed to meeting up with Mr Train on Monday....plenty of msging last night, he then says we could get a takeaway, have a few drinks at his place and I could stay over!!!! On a first date!!! My reaction was to say i think we should meet elsewhere first and if things flowed in that direction then possibly! Thoughts???
Bin him x
Misty9 · 05/08/2021 12:11

I agree with Belladi - bin him if you're looking for something more serious. That's a low effort way of him getting laid. At least work for it Mr Train!

Misty9 · 05/08/2021 12:12

I would reply and just say I think we're looking for different things, good luck on your search. If he comes back with something then see what he says

Dee03 · 05/08/2021 12:18

@BelladiMamma
I've suggested a video call before Monday....I hate them but I think I'll get more of a gist about him. If I knew I definitely fancied him I'd probably throw caution to the wind Blush but im not sure about him so don't want to put myself in an awkward position.....x

Dee03 · 05/08/2021 12:23

@Misty9
Thanks great advice....it is low effort isn't it.....at least take me out to dinner first and see if we have any connection! I did say to him he might not like me in real life and he assured me he would do..ffs

VanGoghsDog · 05/08/2021 12:27

@Dee03

Well I've agreed to meeting up with Mr Train on Monday....plenty of msging last night, he then says we could get a takeaway, have a few drinks at his place and I could stay over!!!! On a first date!!! My reaction was to say i think we should meet elsewhere first and if things flowed in that direction then possibly! Thoughts???
My thought now, given everything, is to say no and terminate the contact.

This is too forward and it feels like it's what he was aiming for all along and the rest was just bullshit.

BelladiMamma · 05/08/2021 12:27

[quote Dee03]@Misty9
Thanks great advice....it is low effort isn't it.....at least take me out to dinner first and see if we have any connection! I did say to him he might not like me in real life and he assured me he would do..ffs [/quote]
Unless you're cool with a ONS I'd leave this well alone x

BelladiMamma · 05/08/2021 12:28

@Dee03 there are also massive safety and consent issues. He'll be able to argue that you were 'up for it' by just turning up.

Dee03 · 05/08/2021 12:34

@BelladiMamma
See this is the thing, part of me thinks oh sod it, it's been bloody years for me since I've had sex and since I've been using the apps the past couple of months I just need to get it out of my system so to speak! I'm 48 and he's 50.....well I've got a few days to suss things out in my mind..I'll see if he sticks to the FaceTime call for a start and if that doesn't happen then it's a definite no!
Thanks for all your opinions....x

Languidleopard · 05/08/2021 12:35

[quote Bbub]@VanGoghsDog yes i think you are quite tall as its a good few inches above average women's height.

@Languidleopard I wouldn't have been able to not say something although it would have made it very awkward. But i bet you were already feeling awkward about having been lied to! So you shouldn't have to bare that uneasiness alone!

@BelladiMamma is this on tinder? I used to go on without a picture and got plenty of matches and lots of men admitted to swiping right on everyone to see what they got! I'm glad I did that first, as now when I match I dont assume it's because they really fancy me 😂😔[/quote]
@Bbub yep, I felt completely wrong footed by his height when he appeared. He looked like his profile pic but smaller snd rounder iyswim?

I'm thinking now his profile pics are actually quite old and he'd maybe gained weight over the lockdown. Doesn't really explain the height discrepancy though 🤔

Anyway, next time I'm going to be braver, pull out their profile and ask them WTAF?

I haven't heard anything from him btw, so I'm going to send him the thanks but no thanks message this eve.

BelladiMamma · 05/08/2021 12:37

@wontsomebodythinkofthechildren I love your update. I need to remember that I fully expected it to take a couple of years to meet someone. Hope things continue well x

Languidleopard · 05/08/2021 12:38

@Dee03

Well I've agreed to meeting up with Mr Train on Monday....plenty of msging last night, he then says we could get a takeaway, have a few drinks at his place and I could stay over!!!! On a first date!!! My reaction was to say i think we should meet elsewhere first and if things flowed in that direction then possibly! Thoughts???
@Dee03 he's looking for a hookup. Without even putting much effort in. It would be a no from me 😐
Languidleopard · 05/08/2021 12:39

[quote BelladiMamma]@Dee03 there are also massive safety and consent issues. He'll be able to argue that you were 'up for it' by just turning up. [/quote]
Agree x 100.

Bbub · 05/08/2021 12:42

Thanks for the comments about Saturday, glad to hear I was over thinking it. I suggested Sat to Mr Italy, he'll probably not be free now anyway but whatever.

@MayEye hope you get your date 0 firmed up!!

@Dee03 if you fancy him and just want a shag then fair enough but it's quite cheeky and presumptuous of him to suggest it at all if up til then you've been chatting normally and would have assumed you were having a nice date. So be cautious and see how you feel 💜

Isitreallyme177 · 05/08/2021 12:45

@Dee03

Well I've agreed to meeting up with Mr Train on Monday....plenty of msging last night, he then says we could get a takeaway, have a few drinks at his place and I could stay over!!!! On a first date!!! My reaction was to say i think we should meet elsewhere first and if things flowed in that direction then possibly! Thoughts???
If you want a shag go for it, if you want something more meaningful I'd bin him. Been there got the head fuck thought it would have been more, the ones that invite you round or want to come to yours are after one thing.

I can't even bring myself to invite Mr Cricket round for dinner because I know if I did it would probably progress and I'm not sure it's a good idea.

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