Husband Taking Trip With Other Women??

[jennnn4444]

My husband has gotten involved in boxing classes over the past year and the place he takes classes is having a getaway/retreat for 4 days away where they will "do a lot of boxing and fun stuff too". There are about 10-15 people attending (half are women, several women are recently divorced). I do not know these women personally, but from things I've seen and heard they enjoy partying, drinking, and going out a lot. They will share a house with a hot tub for 3-4 nights.

I trust my husband and can't see him cheating, but at the same time I worry that he's putting himself in dangerous territory going away for a long weekend, spending every waking hour with these people, and staying in a house with single women and alcohol.

What are your thoughts?

And if a woman came on here and said that she wanted to go away for a fun weekend for an activity she enjoys but her husband won't let her go because there will be (gasp) other men he would get torn to shreds. And rightly so.

Honestly - he's a grown adult not a student going away at the end of school.

Doesn't matter the situation. If someone wants to cheat they will.

Actually I'm not sure that's true. A lot of people wouldn't go out looking for a fling, but with the right amount of alcohol and in the right circumstances it could happen (I speak from personal experience)

I go away 3 - 5 weekends a year with a set group of people mixed sex. Lots of alcohol. Emotional work so it's quite bonding. Plenty of places to have sex. No one directly attached to my family who would ever tell DH. Also do several working weekends away woth less alcohol but def opportunity for sex and again v emotional work so v bonding.

If DH didnt trust me to not have sex whilst away, we wouldn't be married any more.

@MayorGoodwaysChicken

I wouldn’t like it either and I trust my husband implicitly. It’s about respect-would I like to be at home caring for our children while my husband got drunk with women I didn’t know in a hot tub? Maybe I’m not cool wife enough but no, that wouldn’t be ok with me and it doesn’t at all mean I don’t trust him. These situations aren’t black and white like that. You can trust someone but still want to feel like you and your marriage are respected.

What about men you didnt know? Or women you did know? Does that mean youre ok never going away with friends either because it would disrespect your man if you had fun without him ?

@Wearywithteens

Can you go along too?

Hi guys this is my wife Mandy. Shes come along because you divorced women covet my penis and will lure me to temptation with your sinful ways.

If any of my exes did this I would have hit the fucking roof and called it a day instantly. If my current boyfriend did it I wouldn't be concerned in the slightest. One reason why - this one can actually be trusted!

The trust him or you don't group live in fantasy land.

I'm sorry but 90% of not cheating is not putting yourself in situations where things will escalate. We are all humans, humans are just animals at the end of the day. If you're relying on your willpower in the moment to stop you, it's too late you've lost. It's like trying to diet with a house filled with crisps, chocolate and ice cream.. it's just not going to happen. The time to be strong on your diet is at the grocery store.. and in this case the time to not cheat is to not go to overnight booze filled events with lots of single opposite sex (or same sex if that's your thing) without your partner.

What exactly does respecting a marriage mean?
To never be around single people of the sex that you are attracted to?
Alcohol can well lower inhibitions but it doesn’t make you do things that you don’t want to do. It especially won’t make someone want to be unfaithful just for the sake of it.
It’s not about being a cool wife or not, it’s the notion that because certain types of events can lead to certain outcomes that it’s inevitable and that your DH would therefore have to go along with it.
He doesn’t have to go if it was something he felt would be likely.
But clearly he wants to go.
Either you tell him that you have concerns and see where that goes or you stew and worry the entire time he’s away.
There’s no way I would tolerate my spouse telling me I couldn’t go to a scenario like that. I e had married men etc make a move on me and I have no problem putting those people in their place, booze or not.
Assault is a wholly different matter of course but it seems that you are worried about something that’s actually very unlikely to happen

Honestly if you’ve got to control where your husband goes to be able to trust him and suspect if he’s alone with women and booze involved he will shag them then your marriage is totally fucked

Either you trust him or you don’t. And you don’t. Just because women are there doesn’t mean any of them will remotely fancy him. Your issue is your husband.

Telling him he can’t go as you think he will shag someone is not going to be some form of marriage enhancing act.

If you're relying on your willpower in the moment to stop you, it's too late you've lost. It's like trying to diet with a house filled with crisps, chocolate and ice cream.. it's just not going to happen

Such nonsense, I can diet in a house full of crap and not eat it and I can’t sit and get pissed with a bunch of blokes and not shag them.

Please don’t tar all of us with your personal lack of will power.

Hi guys this is my wife Mandy. Shes come along because you divorced women covet my penis and will lure me to temptation with your sinful ways.

I also find the women who tend to think their husbands are catnip to any single women who comes near them tend to be married to th type of bloke that no other woman would ever W ant to shag ever.

It’s a weird dichotomy, this if the women are there they will want him, they will be chucking their knickers off, he’s such a sex god, in most instances the reality is the absolute opposite.

Op just becayse you think he’s gods gift doesn’t mean any one else will.

@Bluntness100

If you're relying on your willpower in the moment to stop you, it's too late you've lost. It's like trying to diet with a house filled with crisps, chocolate and ice cream.. it's just not going to happen

Such nonsense, I can diet in a house full of crap and not eat it and I can’t sit and get pissed with a bunch of blokes and not shag them.

Please don’t tar all of us with your personal lack of will power.

That's great you are like that, 99% of people are not.

Considering this site has a cross section of people.. what are we supposed to do just all compete for that 1% of people? Or are we realistic with ourselves and setup our environments for success.

Bluntness!

I can’t sit and get pissed with a bunch of blokes and not shag them.

My wife, married daughter, and married sister in law went on a mixed sex week long hobby retreat a couple of years ago, and the behaviour almost cost my daughter and sister in law their marriages.

While they didn't actually have sex with anyone, lines were spectacularly crossed. My wife saw where things were going and cut back her own alcohol consumption to try and keep my daughter and sister in law in check. Didn't work real well.

My daughter and sister in law have cool husbands who know and are fine that their wives do things like take off their rings to get free drinks from guys...

I’ve done at least 10 boot camps residential ones over the years . Both in the uk and abroad .
At pretty much every camp someone sleeps with one of the instructors or owners .
I’At one in Spain 2 women who were married slept with the two main instructors on the last night after a meal out and loads of alcohol

One younger woman who I was sharing a room with who was single slept with the owner of the company who was getting married the following month .
The women who was semi in charge of everyone so sort of a housekeeper / mother hen had to take her to to the chemist to get the morning after pill .
This was all on the same camp in Spain
Another camp that was a year long residential type in the uk where a lot of the Z list celebrities go the instructors were sleeping with different women each week .
Another different camp same thing happened but the owner did marry that lady 😂
The only one where it didn’t happen was in Morocco but the instructors may have been sleeping with the goats

@Shelddd

The trust him or you don't group live in fantasy land.

I'm sorry but 90% of not cheating is not putting yourself in situations where things will escalate. We are all humans, humans are just animals at the end of the day. If you're relying on your willpower in the moment to stop you, it's too late you've lost. It's like trying to diet with a house filled with crisps, chocolate and ice cream.. it's just not going to happen. The time to be strong on your diet is at the grocery store.. and in this case the time to not cheat is to not go to overnight booze filled events with lots of single opposite sex (or same sex if that's your thing) without your partner.

Ive been doing them for 15 years. Single / not single / married. Kissed / slept woth one guy in all that time. Both single until we had a relationship with each other. And as well as training weekends weve also had weekends away where weve got very drunk. Maybe im jist hideously ugly or maybe not everyone wants to habe sex with random people

@OrchestraOfWankery

Bluntness!

I can’t sit and get pissed with a bunch of blokes and not shag them.

Jeez woman, learn some control 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@SleepingStandingUp

I think you're taking this personally as are a couple others on this thread who like to drink and go overnight with single opposite sex individuals.

You can do whatever you like... No one on this thread is going to take that away from you...

That's great you are like that, 99% of people are not

99 percent aren’t like that for goodness sake, you can’t seriously think 99 percent of the population habe a binge eating disorder or can’t control themselves round food?

Ans sorry, I mean I can sit with blokes and not shag them, darn autocorrect, 😂

[quote Shelddd]@SleepingStandingUp

I think you're taking this personally as are a couple others on this thread who like to drink and go overnight with single opposite sex individuals.

You can do whatever you like... No one on this thread is going to take that away from you...[/quote]
Not at all, but the whole "you can only stop yourself from cheating by not leaving your vagina around men" or vice versa is ridiculous and excuses people who do cheat because it implies they understandably couldn't help themselves. Bollocks. You dont cheat by choosing not to. And if you get drunk and choose to, there's something wrong with your relationship any wah

My DH travels with his hobby. The men are outnumbered 1:4. He loves it.

But I know it is fine.

Why not let him go, follow him there and spend the entire time outside the house silently watching through a window from behind a tree? If there is a suitable parking space you could also pretend to read a newspaper with eye holes cut out.
This way, not only will you be sure to know if he's cheated, but you can also catch him out when he says he had ten beers but you fine well saw him have three thousand seven hundred and nine beers and sixty one Jaeger bombs.

The only one where it didn’t happen was in Morocco but the instructors may have been sleeping with the goats

That’s really not an acceptable comment