Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Leaving an abusive affair/relationship. Warning: discussion of rape. **OP post edited by MNHQ at OP's request***

291 replies

Finallydonewithhim · 21/07/2021 07:11

Long complicated history. Man and I have always gravitated towards each other. Tried friendship - it’s great until the attraction takes hold. We always end up in a dark sexual relationship. Pure lust.

I’m married. He’s had several relationships over this time too. I was prepared at one point to give everything up for him. He couldn’t do it.

Earlier this year he got involved with someone I know. She was warned clearly by a friend of his cheating behaviour and all his flaws. He managed 4 months of staying away then he returned and took advantage of my vulnerable state.

2 months on he has showed me that he is more than happy to be carrying on this without thought or care. He won’t ever stop. He has been very dangerous to me this time around.

I can do my best to keep him away but he’ll always return. The girlfriend is airing her suspicions. I want to do the right thing and go and tell her. I’ve never felt this way about any of the other girlfriends but she deserves so much more.

I do too. My husband does too.

Talk or walk.
Pull the pin on my own grenade.

I want him to stay away forever. I feel this will be the only way to make him.

OP posts:
Hanger0n · 21/07/2021 20:19

@Naunet

Some women on this thread are absolutely disgusting. Minimising rape, ignoring actual physical damage, complete ignorance or lack of interest in the trauma previous sexual abuse can do…you should be utterly ashamed of yourselves. There’s a reason rape is illegal and cheating isn’t for fuck sake. Revolting.

OP, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. If you tell your husband, what do you think would happen? Do you have anywhere you could go, somewhere this rapist pig can’t find you?

Nobody is minimising rape or ignoring physical damage. Some of us are able to widen our view to the fact multiple parties lives are impacted by this but they are not being given a fair opportunity to decide if they want to be involved in it.
minatrina · 21/07/2021 20:21

@Hanger0n not really the time or the place though is it?

youvegottenminuteslynn · 21/07/2021 20:29

@Hanger0n

You've really, really, really made your point now. Please. Stop.

Naunet · 21/07/2021 20:31

Nobody is minimising rape or ignoring physical damage. Some of us are able to widen our view to the fact multiple parties lives are impacted by this but they are not being given a fair opportunity to decide if they want to be involved in it

Yes they have, very clearly on here rape has been minimised several times, including it being referred to just sex that got too kinky for OPs taste. Revolting, and pretending that hasn’t happened is yet more minimising, congratulations.

toocold54 · 21/07/2021 20:33

There’s a reason rape is illegal and cheating isn’t for fuck sake. Revolting

I’ve not read everyone else’s replies and I am in no way minimising rape and sexual abuse but OP is married but yet is still in contact and has met up with someone who she knows is sexually abusive and has raped her. Which is so frustrating to read as she should be getting as far away from him as possible and reporting him. A lot of people are abused by their partners and can’t get away but she has a husband so there no reason for her to be in contact with this man at all.

Naunet · 21/07/2021 20:36

@toocold54

There’s a reason rape is illegal and cheating isn’t for fuck sake. Revolting

I’ve not read everyone else’s replies and I am in no way minimising rape and sexual abuse but OP is married but yet is still in contact and has met up with someone who she knows is sexually abusive and has raped her. Which is so frustrating to read as she should be getting as far away from him as possible and reporting him. A lot of people are abused by their partners and can’t get away but she has a husband so there no reason for her to be in contact with this man at all.

Really not interested in hearing your “she’s asking for it” defence, and it doesn’t help OP in any way.
toocold54 · 21/07/2021 20:42

Really not interested in hearing your “she’s asking for it” defence, and it doesn’t help OP in any way

I did not say or imply that ‘she’s asking for it’ don’t put words into my mouth.

Naunet · 21/07/2021 20:47

@toocold54

Really not interested in hearing your “she’s asking for it” defence, and it doesn’t help OP in any way

I did not say or imply that ‘she’s asking for it’ don’t put words into my mouth.

Re read what you wrote, because you absolutely did. You also seem to think it’s more important to tell OP off for being in this situation, than helping and supporting her - why?

By the way, when you type “I’m not minimising rape BUT…”, you’re off to a bad start.

toocold54 · 21/07/2021 20:52

Re read what you wrote, because you absolutely did. You also seem to think it’s more important to tell OP off for being in this situation, than helping and supporting her - why?

Tell her off what are you talking about! Every single one of my posts have been supportive of the OP. Stop trying to derail the thread to fit your own narrative.

Naunet · 21/07/2021 20:54

@toocold54

Re read what you wrote, because you absolutely did. You also seem to think it’s more important to tell OP off for being in this situation, than helping and supporting her - why?

Tell her off what are you talking about! Every single one of my posts have been supportive of the OP. Stop trying to derail the thread to fit your own narrative.

A lot of people are abused by their partners and can’t get away but she has a husband so there no reason for her to be in contact with this man at all

So supportive. 👍

I’m not engaging anymore, this is a space for OP to get support.

toocold54 · 21/07/2021 21:04

I’m not engaging anymore, this is a space for OP to get support.

Good one Confused

JustLyra · 21/07/2021 21:25

@toocold54

There’s a reason rape is illegal and cheating isn’t for fuck sake. Revolting

I’ve not read everyone else’s replies and I am in no way minimising rape and sexual abuse but OP is married but yet is still in contact and has met up with someone who she knows is sexually abusive and has raped her. Which is so frustrating to read as she should be getting as far away from him as possible and reporting him. A lot of people are abused by their partners and can’t get away but she has a husband so there no reason for her to be in contact with this man at all.

You have a staggering lack of understanding and empathy.

The fact she has a husband is one of the things her abuser is using against her.

You are massively minimising rape when you use sentences like "she should be getting as far away from him as possible and reporting him" because it clearly shows that you don't understand how situations like the one she is in play out.

Abusers are not just husbands - that's why Women's Aids remit is partners, ex partners, family, carers and others because it's not as black and white as people like yourself are trying to make it sound.

JustLyra · 21/07/2021 21:27

Nobody is minimising rape or ignoring physical damage. Some of us are able to widen our view to the fact multiple parties lives are impacted by this but they are not being given a fair opportunity to decide if they want to be involved in it.

And some of us are able to see that the wider picture can be dealt with once the actual risk to someone's physical safety, and life, is dealt with.

Hill1991 · 21/07/2021 21:34

I'm sorry for what you are going through but you need to tell your husband if not only to protect your children, if this man can't get to you he could go after your children or husband.

This man is on a downward spiral and is getting more and more dangerous by the minute you need to ring the police and tell your husband.

Wineandroses3 · 21/07/2021 21:39

Can you just imagine if the husband was ever to read this; that his wife is in a “dark sexual relationship” with another man? Grim. My sympathy is with the husband.

Notmyregularnameforthis · 21/07/2021 21:47

I think what some PPs are missing is the fact that this kind of pseudo BDSM relationship, which has a very insidious and yet seductive and addicting thrall to it (especially in its early stages), can be extremely difficult to get out of further down the road, moreso as the severity of the manipulation and abuse ramps up. Often the victim (in this case the OP) tries multiple times to reset or renegotiate boundaries and/or withdraw from the web of intimidation, abuse, lies and manipulation perpetrated by the abuser. However, the abusers are adept at intimidation and experts at using fear to paralyse their victims, leaving them feeling incapable of making any meaningful and effective decisions towards actually escaping the abuse.

Victims will often express hopes such as "I could keep going through it if he just eases up on me a bit" or "I can keep playing this game if he just shows me he really cares for me." But of course the abusers don't ease up, and they certainly don't care.

This victims mindset of trying to barter or negotiate better treatment because "I don't have any real power to decide things" , combined with a historical acceptance of their designated (and initially welcomed) submissive / obedient role in this relationship leaves the victim feeling emotionally torn and especially vulnerable to the abuser to exploit.

This is especially true if you are not very emotionally robust, which it is clear the OP is not due to past SA experiences.

This is why people find it so incredibly hard to extricate themselves from this type of abuse. I really wish it was as simple as "block him and ignore and move on", but emotionally the OP has been so thoroughly conditioned to not see that as an option, to believe she does not have the power to impose her will over his, that even now, she is paralysed and simply waiting (fearing) for his next contact, instead of actively seeking her escape.

Also, I don't think anyone can deny there are some parties involved (OPs husband and current girlfriend of the abuser) who are either wholly or largely ignorant of what has been going on, and that will, at some point, need to be addressed by the OP both directly and indirectly.

Clearly the OP will, at some point, need to make a decision about what she wants the outcome of all this to be, beyond the simple solution of having nothing more to do with this rapist.

Then she will need to decide whether that includes telling her husband and then trying to rescue that relationship, or eventually concluding that it cannot be saved.

I agree with PPs that we know very little about what calibre of man the OPs husband is, and how he would potentially react if, or when, he is apprised of what has happened. We can only hope that he will have enough courage to look beyond the simple but brutal act of betrayal that an extra marital affair represents and see that the OP has been a victim, albeit an initially ignorant but willing one.

Equally we need to hope that whatever information is eventually given to the girlfriend about what type of lowlife her boyfriend is, will lead her to make the sensible decision to walk away as quickly as possible. Although, given that the OP has already stated that the gf has been warned about his behaviour by someone else (not the OP) and yet is still seeing him leaves me feeling somewhat doubtful that she will make her escape before she too suffers some kind of abusive treatment from him.

All in all it is a sorry tale, and my heart goes out to all involved ... barring one person of course!

toocold54 · 21/07/2021 21:50

You are massively minimising rape when you use sentences like "she should be getting as far away from him as possible and reporting him" because it clearly shows that you don't understand how situations like the one she is in play out.

@JustLyra so if OP had come on here saying it was her husband who was the abuser you wouldn’t tell her to leave him and report him?
Because that’s minimising rape and implying that OP deserves it because she’s the one who has chosen to be with him?

Of course you would (hopefully) tell her to leave her husband if he was abusing her.
So why when I say to get away from her abuser and report him to the police does it mean I am minimising rape??

Hanger0n · 21/07/2021 21:51
Flowers
Hanger0n · 21/07/2021 21:57

@Wineandroses3

Can you just imagine if the husband was ever to read this; that his wife is in a “dark sexual relationship” with another man? Grim. My sympathy is with the husband.
Careful, you'll be accused of minimising rape if you talk like that. You shouldn't even be thinking about the husband, his feeling are irrelevant right now.
youvegottenminuteslynn · 21/07/2021 21:57

@Wineandroses3

Can you just imagine if the husband was ever to read this; that his wife is in a “dark sexual relationship” with another man? Grim. My sympathy is with the husband.
I suggest you use the option to at least read OP's posts throughout the thread as hopefully you wouldn't say this if you had done so. Only if the hypothetical husband you mention been anally raped during an affair would it would be a comparable situation.
Hanger0n · 21/07/2021 22:01

@Notmyregularnameforthis

I think what some PPs are missing is the fact that this kind of pseudo BDSM relationship, which has a very insidious and yet seductive and addicting thrall to it (especially in its early stages), can be extremely difficult to get out of further down the road, moreso as the severity of the manipulation and abuse ramps up. Often the victim (in this case the OP) tries multiple times to reset or renegotiate boundaries and/or withdraw from the web of intimidation, abuse, lies and manipulation perpetrated by the abuser. However, the abusers are adept at intimidation and experts at using fear to paralyse their victims, leaving them feeling incapable of making any meaningful and effective decisions towards actually escaping the abuse.

Victims will often express hopes such as "I could keep going through it if he just eases up on me a bit" or "I can keep playing this game if he just shows me he really cares for me." But of course the abusers don't ease up, and they certainly don't care.

This victims mindset of trying to barter or negotiate better treatment because "I don't have any real power to decide things" , combined with a historical acceptance of their designated (and initially welcomed) submissive / obedient role in this relationship leaves the victim feeling emotionally torn and especially vulnerable to the abuser to exploit.

This is especially true if you are not very emotionally robust, which it is clear the OP is not due to past SA experiences.

This is why people find it so incredibly hard to extricate themselves from this type of abuse. I really wish it was as simple as "block him and ignore and move on", but emotionally the OP has been so thoroughly conditioned to not see that as an option, to believe she does not have the power to impose her will over his, that even now, she is paralysed and simply waiting (fearing) for his next contact, instead of actively seeking her escape.

Also, I don't think anyone can deny there are some parties involved (OPs husband and current girlfriend of the abuser) who are either wholly or largely ignorant of what has been going on, and that will, at some point, need to be addressed by the OP both directly and indirectly.

Clearly the OP will, at some point, need to make a decision about what she wants the outcome of all this to be, beyond the simple solution of having nothing more to do with this rapist.

Then she will need to decide whether that includes telling her husband and then trying to rescue that relationship, or eventually concluding that it cannot be saved.

I agree with PPs that we know very little about what calibre of man the OPs husband is, and how he would potentially react if, or when, he is apprised of what has happened. We can only hope that he will have enough courage to look beyond the simple but brutal act of betrayal that an extra marital affair represents and see that the OP has been a victim, albeit an initially ignorant but willing one.

Equally we need to hope that whatever information is eventually given to the girlfriend about what type of lowlife her boyfriend is, will lead her to make the sensible decision to walk away as quickly as possible. Although, given that the OP has already stated that the gf has been warned about his behaviour by someone else (not the OP) and yet is still seeing him leaves me feeling somewhat doubtful that she will make her escape before she too suffers some kind of abusive treatment from him.

All in all it is a sorry tale, and my heart goes out to all involved ... barring one person of course!

Agree with everything you said. It's also entirety possible that if the OW does find out, she might solve the current dilemma by telling everyone herself. She's already asking questions.
youvegottenminuteslynn · 21/07/2021 22:05

You shouldn't even be thinking about the husband, his feeling are irrelevant right now.

Do you genuinely not get that people can have huge sympathy for her husband being in the dark about this and have huge sympathy for her being a victim of rape and think that minimising the risk of her abuser escalating and having some emotional support on here is the most important thing right now. People can think all those things simultaneously. You seem to think this is a childish 'whose side are you on' thing. It's not. Right now, OP is the victim of a rape perpetrated by her affair partner. Does that mean it's ok she had an affair? Nope. Does that mean it's ok her husband doesn't know? Nope. Does it mean that people should push and push and push the guilt factor and keep mentioning the husband should know when OP already feels terrible about it and has been recovering from being anally raped? NO. Please have some compassion.

To even make a sarcy, snarky comment like 'his feelings are irrelevant" (as if anyone has implied such a thing) on such a sensitive thread is unreal. Flippant and callous.

People can feel incredibly sorry for both her husband being betrayed AND her being assaulted. The immediate priority is for OP to be safe. That may or may not involve her telling her husband immediately, or in a week, or in a month. Her health and wellbeing is priority right now.

I'm gutted that women have said the things they've said to a rape victim on this thread.

Again, it's possible for most people to empathise with both parties. There's no need to pick a side. This is bigger and more serious than sides.

You're doing so much more harm than good on this thread. I really think it's bordering on cruel now.

Wineandroses3 · 21/07/2021 22:06

I of course have sympathy for OP too, it sounds horrendous.

Notmyregularnameforthis · 21/07/2021 22:06

@Hanger0n .. you make a good point. I do hope that the OP takes some decisive action herself before that happens. Much better to face the music through your own choice than be cornered by someone else revealing the truth.

Taliskerskye · 21/07/2021 22:09

Why do people on this thread think that only if you live with someone it’s hard to get away from abuse?
It’s much more than just the physical interactions that keep abusers tied in.

People can be abused in many ways, and saying just block him he’s not even living with you so it should be easy is insane.

I’m amazed at how many women on this thread feel that certain behaviour means you deserve abuse more and also don’t understand the complex nuances of how you get trapped with an abuser