Dh wants a divorce and is leaving today

[GooodMythicalMorning]

He came home last night and told me he doesn't want this any more. He's fallen foe someone else though nothings happened apparently as she too is married. We're telling the kids later after work and he's leaving. Im heartbroken. 14 years married, didn't see any problems. Thought it was forever. I don't know what to do/need. My brain has gone into panic mode about kids/dogs/house.

I think OP he’s been given an ultimatum and that’s where he is discussing it. I wish these guys would simply tell the truth - it’s awful eithercway but more insulting is expecting you to believe he’s leaving because he simply fancies someone else

He's lying to you. I'm not saying that to be unkind but just so that you remember he's not being a good person in all this now and so it's likely he won't be further down the line. Focus on your DC and making the best future possible for them and for you.

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I wonder how keen he'd be to leave if you dumped the kids on him and said you don't want them - hypothetical obviously. I bet he'd change his tune then!

Quite. Why do us women always get lumbered with the kids?! Only half joking.

He’s probably too embarrassed to show his face now that you’ve told his mother what he’s been up to
Stupid bastard

In all fairness he told his mother.

So sorry OP

So sorry

I'm so sorry.

I would focus on the practical aspects. Viewing life as a business transaction where he is concerned.

I'm so sorry. You will get through this but it will be painful. What a foolish man...it will take him years to realise what he has lost. Not just his family but the respect from others.

I’m so sorry op. Must overwhelming to have to think of everything. I’m glad you have your mum to be with you.
Hope the kids are ok

Tell him that you assume there is space at BIL's house for the children.
Not helpful, I know, but I hate the way they just get to leave.

Me too. It's disgusting they just think the wife is going to look after the children while they ride off into the night, child free, responsibility free and no guilty conscious.

Conscience

How long has his mum known. This would be icing on the cake. Obvs she won't see kids as much now anyways as u won't be visiting her with ex husband

So has he flunked out if telling the kids this evening, OP?

Being late was horrible, at a time like this.

No, it's done. Kids devastated obviously. He's packing stuff.

:( so sorry for you and the kids

I’m so sorry you’re going through this @GooodMythicalMorning

The shock is devastating 💐

Take as much support as you can

It's shit but remember this is the worst bit. It's most likely that he's been having an affair they rarely leave without having someone all lined up to go to. He won't admit it of course.

The most important thing to remember now is that he's not your friend anymore. Get as much sorted out about finances as quickly as possible while he still feels guilty because the 'I'm going to be fair and reasonable' really doesn't last long!

Most of all remember to look after yourself you'll be trying to make sure you care for the DC but you can't pour from an empty jug.

I’m so sorry I am glad you have your DM for support

Did he discuss finances with you op?

And has he organised access for the children?

He's going to regret this, it will be expensive and will likely want to come back when he discovers the grass isn't very green over the other side!

Best of luck

sounds stupid but just hit me all the family stuff we're going to miss, no family panto at Christmas, had elvis tribute booked for my birthday in sept too. no more family holidays.