Why *(content warning: concerns domestic abuse)

[mcdreamymcsteamy]

I'm shaking writing this but I don't have anybody to talk to in real life. I have no family and I'm too ashamed to tell my friends. I have no where to go.

But I need to tell somebody.

Yesterday whilst holding my 12 week old baby he slapped me across the face. Then when I swore at him he put his hands around my neck and choked me until I sat down on the sofa.

Today he was holding the baby and I was sat in the comer of the sofa, he'd made a comment that I am insecure that's why I always wear black underwear?! I said he is a sick fuck for hitting me with a baby in my arms, he put the baby in the Moses basket and said I'll show hits then bang there was 3/4 hits across my head and a chunk of my hair on the floor! I tried to kick him then more fighting but it's a blur but somewhere in there he shouted at me that I'm fat as fuck and made nasty comments about my stretch marks and my arms.

What the actual fuck.

He is not here right now and im sitting plucking up the courage to ring the police.

OP I'm so sorry he did this to you. He is dangerous, please get yourself and your baby away from him right now.

Please don't ever let him back. He will tell you that he will change. He won't. My dad started like this. My mum nearly died 3x before she was able to leave him. Please don't leave your baby without their mum. Get out, stay out.

Police now. Do not allow this person to be near you or your baby.

He's going to kill you if you don't leave. My ex ripped my hair out and I now have bald patches on either side and the hair will never grow back.
Call the police and call women's aid then get a non molestation order. He will seriously hurt you if you stay.

I'm shaking writing this but I don't have anybody to talk to in real life. I have no family and I'm too ashamed to tell my friends. I have no where to go

What about your sister? If you cannot get him out tonight can you stay with her for a couple of days?

Hope you’re okay

(Although I did misread the post, thinking that the baby had slapped op)

I really hope your OK op you and your baby ate safe. I hope you called the police on him. You don't deserve to be treated like that at all he is a piece of shit..

Police. Always.

If he will do this to you, then who else? your child?
The sooner you are away from him, the sooner a new better life can begin for you and your child.

As for him, he needs help too (if it's possible). But first and foremost, you needed to be protected from him.

I'm sorry this has happened to you, please call the police and report. You need to think of your lovely baby. abusers don't change. He sounds like a vile human being. You deserve better.
Sending

[quote mcdreamymcsteamy]@MagentaRocks

Ok I'll ask them. You're right it's not the first time, although first time since I gave birth, last time was when I was 20 weeks pregnant, he was hitting me so hard across the head my ears were ringing and I ended up with bruising to
My eye. I thought once I gave birth he would develop some love or respect for me as any other time he would be so nice, what an idiot [/quote]
I'm so sorry you're going through this but in the pattern of abuse, it normally gets worse when you've had a baby with them or married them. They feel they own you and you are then trapped, so abuse can ramp up.
Call women's aid or refuge charity. They can offer confidential advice and help. I went to a womans refuge and I'm so thankful I did.
You need to get away from him, I'm sorry to say he won't change. He may go back to being nice for a bit, you'll think he's learnt his lesson but then it will happen again. This is the cycle of abuse and it happens to near every abuse case. also just a side not putting hands around someone's neck is a high indicator of that man causing serious injury or end death to their partner. He is dangerous, please get you and your baby away from him

You and your baby are in serious danger. What a bastard. Have you called the police ?

So sorry OP. If it’s your house, get an emergency locksmith (now if he’s still out) have the locks changed and leave his stuff outside. Obviously call the police if you haven’t already. So sorry, but you’re worth so so much more, a million times more love and respect. What a disgusting person to do that when you’re holding your baby. X

Police.
Don't leave your home.
Change all locks
Non molestation order
Security cameras

Get you and your baby out of there

This post has been in my mind all evening, really hope you've called the police and got help op!

Hope you’ve called the police, he sounds very dangerous

you need to call 999 now.

It's very simple. Sorry to be so harsh, but either you call them and get the wheels in motion or possibly you lose your life.

And your child loses a mother.

If you do not act, you could lose your right to be a mother to your child.

If you don't want to stay there they will get you a place in a women's refuge.

Don't worry about money, don't worry about food. They will help.

Women's aid telephone number you will find online but in an emergency which this is, they will tell you to phone the police.

You need to get out. Now. Otherwise you may lose your life and lose your child.

I have done this journey. I know.

I very much hope you are on your way love.

God speed. All those on this thread are with you in spirit.

Check out also women's aid survivors forum.

You can do this.

Hope you are ok @mcdreamymcsteamy

Call the police, they will help you! Google the freedom project too. Find so.eone who cam change the locks before he gets home to protect yourself if it is solely your house.

Stay strong...when your resolve weakens imagine how you would feel if your child came to you saying they were in the same situation

OP be practical...if it's your home please call a locksmith and get the locks changed x

And even changing locks can wait. Just get out.

If need be, just put your coat on, and walk to police station or safe place.

As soon as you are out, he won't know where you are.

Everything else can be sorted.

Watch your phone, it might have GPS tracking on it.

Refuge is often better as they place you in a different town away from where you are now. Gives you time to get your head together.

I am so sorry op but you do need to protect your baby and the only way to do this is to call the police change the locks and cut contact.

I know you don't want to feel it is really over, but it already is, it is done, finished.....now look at your gorgeous baby and start to make you both safe ....

You are lucky you are not married and have your own home and finances...

Please let us know that you are alright..x

Don't change the locks yet- let the police remove him first.
Can you go to stay with your sister for a little while while you sort out security for your home etc?

My sisters dad punched my mum full force in the face while she was holding her as a baby, he broke my mums jaw. It took 6 years to get rid of him out of our house completely, he then stalked us for 3 years afterwards. I witnessed terrible things. He also did shitty things to my sister as she got older as well.

He will not stop, he will escalate and he will eventually turn on his own daughter. You’re in a very dangerous position.

Phone the police, change the locks, get support from a domestic violence charity and protect your child.

I'm shaking writing this but I don't have anybody to talk to in real life. I have no family and I'm too ashamed to tell my friends. I have no where to go

I'm a bit confused by this because OP has then gone on to say she has a sister who's on her way over.

I'm assuming she meant she was worried to tell family rather than not having any family at all? If so I'm glad to hear she's opened up about this and hopefully is talking to police now.