Why *(content warning: concerns domestic abuse)

[mcdreamymcsteamy]

I'm shaking writing this but I don't have anybody to talk to in real life. I have no family and I'm too ashamed to tell my friends. I have no where to go.

But I need to tell somebody.

Yesterday whilst holding my 12 week old baby he slapped me across the face. Then when I swore at him he put his hands around my neck and choked me until I sat down on the sofa.

Today he was holding the baby and I was sat in the comer of the sofa, he'd made a comment that I am insecure that's why I always wear black underwear?! I said he is a sick fuck for hitting me with a baby in my arms, he put the baby in the Moses basket and said I'll show hits then bang there was 3/4 hits across my head and a chunk of my hair on the floor! I tried to kick him then more fighting but it's a blur but somewhere in there he shouted at me that I'm fat as fuck and made nasty comments about my stretch marks and my arms.

What the actual fuck.

He is not here right now and im sitting plucking up the courage to ring the police.

Focus on that tiny baby and you’ll find the strength to call the police to protect them if not yourself. If need be just go for a walk and call incase he comes home. But please do ASAP. Is this the first time? I doubt it. If not then make sure you tell them that too.

[quote mcdreamymcsteamy]@MagentaRocks

Ok I'll ask them. You're right it's not the first time, although first time since I gave birth, last time was when I was 20 weeks pregnant, he was hitting me so hard across the head my ears were ringing and I ended up with bruising to
My eye. I thought once I gave birth he would develop some love or respect for me as any other time he would be so nice, what an idiot [/quote]
You are not an idiot. I expect it started with odd comments and escalated from there with him chipping away at you and your confidence until you felt you deserve what he says/does. The police will have seen this before and know that it is not your fault. Make sure you tell them what time he is expected home as that will help with their response. Also make sure you tell them about him choking you as that elevates the risk. When you call they will basically risk assess the incident and things like choking are one of the high risk indicators. Don’t downplay it, tell them everything he has done. You don’t deserve this and your child doesn’t deserve it. You are worth more. Believe that please.

Please ring the police right now. They will be able to get you to somewhere safe, or if you own the house they’ll help you with lock changes etc.

He could have killed you. He won’t change.

It's my house

That’s fantastic.

Are you married?

If not, please also call a locksmith. Have all locks changed.

You’re doing the right thing. Remember that. Calling the police and ending this cycle of abuse is the single best thing you will ever do for your baby.

Jesus Christ this is awful! Can you lock the doors from the inside and keep him out? If it's your house? Hope you're okay, please call the police ASAP!!!

Call the police. You and your baby deserve better and he is dangerous. My experience with a man who started with choking, slaps and threats was that that was just the start. Good luck. You can do this.

I hope you have called the police OP and that you’re safe. This is as bad as everyone has said here, although I think you know that. Straggling particularly is an indication of very serious DV.

Please let us know you’re safe x

You can make that call , for you and your baby ❤❤❤ you both deserve so much better. Sending you strength 💪💛

No not married. Not the first time but d
First time since baby was born. It's happened before and yes started with comments and threats and it's getting worse and worse.

I loved him at one point. I should have known it was coming, a few weeks ago he said to me I'm a shit mother, he hates me and I'm lower than a piece of shit despite the fact he does nothing with the baby, not one night feed or bath yet!

Please ring the police right away. They will know how to make you and your baby safe. You do not owe this man anything.

Please call the police ASAP
You have my respect for even posting on here as it’s not easy to admit that someone is a monster. So just take the next step and call the police.
Then pack his stuff and try and get the locks changed, text him telling him what has happened and that his stuff will be outside ready to collect.

Do not even engage with him - he will know what he’s done wrong so you don’t need to explain.

No one who likes you would ever do anything like that to you so he definitely doesn’t love you or the baby!

a few weeks ago he said to me I'm a shit mother, he hates me and I'm lower than a piece of shit

Why is he still with you then if he hates you so much - it’s because he’s a bully and likes being the big man at home. He sounds pathetic!

Please please call the police now and never go back to that disgusting scumbag.

It WILL only get worse and if the worst happened, your child will be raised by that monster.

I am sending you all the good luck I can. Be safe xx

Let us know that you’re safe please.

I know it sounds pathetic but I feel scared to ring the police because then that's it. It's really over. Even though I already know it is.

My sister is in her way over then I'll call them

Take a deep breath & call the police now. This needs to stop now before it gets worse - do it for your baby now! You are both at serious risk

WTF?! The police would've hauled his ass away by now, I've done that when my dd's father did far less than that to me.

He's crazy and an abusive arsehole.

I know I need to do it, it's hurting to hold my baby 😢 my collarbone is so sore and my jaw is killing

Call the police. He’s a nasty a*hole. You need to protect yourself and your dc. If it’s your house get the locks changed ASAP. Tell your sister everything, never look back, you’re doing the right thing. If he’s tried to strangle you before he’ll do it again, only takes a few minutes for him to kill you. Think of your dc with just him as a parent, your poor child and you deserve so much better but you won’t find it sticking with him.

Please show your sister this thread
She can phone the police if you don't feel able
Don't risk your life or the life of your baby

If not for yourself, do this for your baby.

I know it sounds pathetic but I feel scared to ring the police because then that's it. It's really over. Even though I already know it is.

I understand what you mean OP but what happens if when he attacked you you dropped your child and they got seriously hurt? Because that will happen one day. And soon they will be old enough to understand that he is hurting you - please don’t let them be a witness to that.

You can do this for your child’s sake OP!
The quicker you do it the easier it will be.

It is not pathetic at all. He’s the pathetic one who needs to bring you down to feel good about himself, who sinks so low to hit a pregnant woman! Don’t you dare see yourself as pathetic, you need the support here to do the right thing, the strong thing. He’s a worthless piece of shit that doesn’t deserve you or any child

Please make the call.

Please read this if you're wavering: www.thehotline.org/resources/the-dangers-of-strangulation/

This man could so easily kill you without even setting out to do so - strangling is a prime indicator of future lethal violence. Don't run the risk of leaving your baby motherless.

Make the call.