Please help me get over him, I am broken

[Summerdaysx]

Making a new thread as I need help.

Dp of 8 years left me & dd. (Have another thread - don't know how to link but it's called dp night out I don't want him to go).

I am completely broken. I can't accept that it's over, I am still hoping he will come back. Although he's telling me he won't.

I am in a permanent daze, crying when dd is out of sight. Constantly texting him telling him I miss him.

What can I do? Please help me. The pain is so bad

@FlowerArranger no she offered me absolutley nothing. I have recently switched medication so it isn't fully in my system yet, I asked for something to help take the edge off of this to help me get through the next few days, nothing! Told me I need to wait on the meds kicking in. Told me I took up an emergency appointment and should have phoned at opening! I said I didn't feel this bad at opening time or I would have called then! Will try again on Monday and ask to speak to a different doctor 🤞🏼

What helped me when I was in this obsessive stage of the end of a relationship was whenever I had the urge to text something to him I didn't resist the urge, I wrote the text out in my notes on the phone or computer and NEVER SENT IT!!! So, my urge was there, I didn't dismiss it, I let it out but never sent. There is also and APP called 'Dont text that man'.....helped me a lot, it has sayings to stop you from texting when you get the urge. It actually helped a bit when I was very hurt, mad and angry and wanted to let rip!

@litterbird thank you so much. I know by texting him obsessively I am pushing him further away. My heads just not in the right mind set just now I feel so lost I'm texting anything I can think of. Will definetley try this thank you so much x

I went through a really horrible break up almost 2 years ago. At the time you don't know how you're going to live without them but I promise you each day it gets easier. I sat at my mums everyday for 2 weeks and bawled my eyes out, didn't eat, barely slept. Then I started taking short walks, my appetite gradually came back and the brain fog lifted so that I could see how much better off I was out of the toxic relationship. It will take time even though you don't see a way through just now you will. Xx

You have to accept that you're going to feel a whole rollercoaster of stuff at this point and you need to ride it out. Whatever you're feeling is normal. The relationship is over. Yes he could come back tomorrow and it's all ok for 6 months and then the cracks start to show and you're back to square 1 again.

It's not going to be easy, stay strong - you can do it.

[quote Summerdaysx]@Laineyloo322 not really that I can go and stay with, not a lot of space and I have a very large dog who would need to come aswel as me and dd. I am clinging onto hope that he will come back, everyone is telling me not to, but I can't help it. It keeps me slightly sane. Deep down I know it is over.[/quote]
If he comes back you won't be happy for more than a few days because you will be terrified he'll leave again.

You need to take back control of your own life without him

Thank you everyone for the support. I am really trying. Today has been a really bad day.

Be kind to yourself, you have had an awful shock

One moment at a time, you will get there x

@HighywayToHell thank you x

Heartbreak is the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I know it’s horrible abs not what you want to hear but the only cure is time. You just have to keep living and eventually it will start to get easier.

My heart goes out to you, it really does. It is properly over, or is he trying to prove a point?!

@SheABitSpicyToday yes this is definetley the worst pain I have ever felt, I can't seem to pull myself together. The crying is worse than normal cry's, the pain is so bad and right now I just don't see this getting any better x

@1Saymynamesaymyname I think it is properly over. I have asked him several times if he's coming back, he has told me no. This happened 3/4 years ago and he came back, I am hanging onto hope that he is coming back but he has told me not to, he's not coming back. I can't help it though. I would do anything to have him back just now for this pain to go away! X

It’s awful, it’s absolute hell but it DOES pass and you will be happy again. Take it day by day. Accept that you will have some really bad days but these will gradually get less and less. I know, I’ve been there and so have millions of others. Please look after yourself and your child.

Just let yourself be sad. There’s no point trying to stifle it as you will just be delaying it. Embrace the pain and you will heal quicker. Good luck op, I truly wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

He's an absolute bastard, He's done this before and now you hope he changes his mind and comes back, you know he'll do it again.

He's left you feeling this way and doesn't even have the decency to look after his child for a few days so you can try to come to terms with this alone.

He's awful, if he does come back you'll never question him again or argue in case he walks out and leaves again.

I'm fuming on your behalf. What a prick!

Please remember that you CAN go to A and E if you are feeling really desperate. They will have someone trained to deal with it and they can refer you to whoever is on call. I don't think this is about a relationship anymore, it's about your mental health being in crisis.

I still think he's playing with your heart. You poor thing. It is so painful, I've been there. Have you got any real life support? I will be thinking of you.

Thank you all so much for the support. I feel broken, lost. The mornings are the worst. Today was a horrible day, I was inconsolable. He had dd today, phoned me twice tonight on video call for silly things. Not phoned me in 10 days. I am clinging onto hope for another chance. Wish I had more respect for myself.

i think these are the worst days, but it will get easier.
your emotions will change from upset to anger, etc.
you are doing very well, you will come out of this stronger.
in a few years time when you look back you will realise what happened was best for you.

i would advise go for long walks with your dd.
this will help the negative energy out of your body.

to parks etc.

@bluebell34567 thank you so much. I don't feel like I am doing well, hopefully tomorrow is a better day

He has told me he wants the rest of his stuff today and he just wants to get on with it now. I still can't accept this is over, in my head I keep holding onto hope that he will come back. I feel broken x