Partner won't pay, heavily pregnant

[hattmancockk]

I've been with my partner 2 years and recently moved in, heavily pregnant now and still paying everything.

Tried and tried and tried. Today I tried some more and was called a cow, nasty, horrible woman even though I've paid everything until now (I do have family money) -have de camped to the spare room as BP sky high. I just want to protect my little baby now but am in complete turmoil as do love the man and he will be a good daddy. I don't know if I can do this on my own as I suffer depression, lingering from a breakdown 2 years ago.

I am not money orientated if that's what it seems like.

@hattmancockk He is verbally abusive, and financially really.

I have a severe mental health disability- you'll be ok with just you and your LO I promise. Access any support you need if you start to need it etc.

He will be making your mental health worse with how he acts.

What do you get from this relationship? If you stay, your DC will grow up thinking relationships like this are normal and the cycle continues.

You need to ltb. Stop paying all the bills. Stop funding your chain smoking alcoholic “D”P’s (hopefully ex) lifestyle.

Why are your standards so low?
Are you hoping when he sees his child he will somehow be inspired to stop drinking, stop smoking, stop using up your money, get a job, stop verbally abusing you, and pull his weight?

I expect he will cuddle the baby a couple times, hand her over to you and continue living his nice cosy life, stopping only to remind you how useless you are, then randomly asking if you want a cup of tea, for which will be so grateful and so tired you will have no energy to even think about leaving him until he taps your money completely dry and finds his next victim.

Jesus OP, grow the fuck up. A good daddy! You sound like a clueless teenager not a grown woman

You can't salvage this one love. And I speak as someone who has been there and knows how strong the desire is to keep it together. You need to kick him out and keep him off the birth certificate.

In what way will a man who won’t support his child be a good dad? He’s literally already a shit dad.

You've been targeted. The situation you are in now is exactly the set up he planned for himself.

You need to leave. This is domestic violence. Look at womans aid the link I posted above. They can help you find a refuge. Or you could contact any council and tell them you are fleeing domestic violence. And they will put you on to emgency accommodation. Womans aid would be the easier option though as they are more experienced.

Or you could stay where you are wait for it to be physical (if its not already) put up with all the bruises and marks on you. He will get totally into your head and turn you into a shadow of the person you are. He tells you it's your fault. I'm hoping you don't fully believe that.

By staying you will be putting your child at risk you owe it to yoir child to keep her safe. Do you think she should see/hear that sort of thing . Don't you think you are worth more.

Jesus, protect yourself, your child and your money from him at all costs!! Get rid ASAP! No wonder you feel depressed 😟

I'm renting this house after a messy divorce and obviously pay the rent but his name is on the tenancy as the agency said any adult who lived here had to be named.

Is his name on the tenancy agreement as in he had to sign the contract too and is jointly liable for paying the rent or is his name just listed as a permitted occupier @hattmancockk? I am guessing he is just listed as a permitted occupier from the way you describe what the agent said. If that's the case, he has no right to stay there if you ask him to leave.

With respect, are you a bit daft OP?

You. Need. To . Kick. Him. Out. Of. Your. Life!!!

Please phone women's aid as soon as possible.

Being pregnant with an abuser is the most dangerous time.

Please take what I am saying seriously.

Phone and discuss it.

All the best daddies verbally and financially abuse the mummies don't you know

@FatJan

With respect, are you a bit daft OP?

Maybe she's vulnerable.

Reading your posts again I would suggest you go and stay with family (don't say where) and cut him off financially. He will still be the baby's father whether you pay him to be there or not.

When is your lease up? Who will be running your business while you're on maternity?

If you are in a financially good situation at the moment then get him out asap before he takes even more money from you .
Surely you can see this is doomed ,he is not a good partner or father , simplify your life before your baby comes ,you don't need any complications in your life right now , or any time !
He sounds horrible , grabby and selfish , don't waste any more time on him , your baby deserves more too .

For fuck sake op. What the fuck are you doing?

He wont be a good daddy. At all. Becuse he is a shit person. Shit people dont make food daddys.

Won't pay? Let's take him away!

Get professional help ASAP

@CandyLeBonBon

Won't pay? Let's take him away!

oh gosh, please show your daughter self worth and kick this waste of space back to his parents.

He is sponging off you, do better

You have a little money at the moment.

Do you really want to fritter it away on a waste of space who has no intention of sharing his own money & then tries to make it your fault?

Or do you want to use it to set you & your child up for the future?

Grow up and get rid! Don't put him on the birth certificate, don't give the baby his surname, stop paying for him and put your baby first.

Today I tried some more and was called a cow, nasty, horrible woman

Oh OP, please read this back and ask yourself, is this what you want your baby to hear as he/she grows up? I grew up in a verbally abusive household, it's hell on earth. Every single day my dad would call my mum the most horrible names. It was awful to watch, me and my siblings spent hours each day crying or trying to get my mum out of bed as she didn't have energy to do anything.

When we were old enough to understand his words, he started calling US all those names. Doesn't your heart break at the thought of your baby being called those nasty things?

Please reconsider this. You and this baby deserve SO much better. You CAN do it on your own. Raising the baby alone will be so much easier than co-habiting with this horrible person. He won't help, he won't contribute financially, he won't support you and the baby. But you're strong, and you can do it on your own so much better than you think.