@love15
It's just that even if you weaken and go back you will never trust him and you will be insecure. Anxious. On edge. Paranoid. You'll see every woman as a threat. You'll get lower self esteem. It's a horrible cycle. Going through the suspicion, the realisation, the denial, the fall out, the forgiveness.
It isn't that you are not good enough for him, it's that he wants more than he can have.
He's not considering his daughter or the family. He's not considering you. He's just considering himself and what attention he needs. That's selfish. He doesn't need it. He just wants it.
Not sure what his childhood was like. But according to a therapist it usually starts as a child. Some sort of fear of being alone and abandoned.
It's senseless. With my ex he would literally get in touch with old school friends from 2 hours away where he lived 30 years ago. These women are sort of late 40s. Getting divorced etc. He's in there calling them gorgeous. He doesn't know these women at all. He doesn't know if they are nice. If they smell good. If they have a good set of teeth. He doesn't know anything about their personalities. But he went to school with them so he uses that as a reason to chat them up. There was nothing to be gained. No future. No nothing. But he still needed that more than a dedicated relationship with me or his ex. I'll never understand why he continues to repeat the same mistakes again.
I think you need to realise 32 is a great age. You are young. But old enough to have that bit of life experience. Ofcourse you will have the home, the garden and the loyality. Even if it takes 2-3 years. You'll still only be 35. There's millions of men out there. So many people seperate and move on. It's life.
He's got nothing to offer you. If you want to keep the door open for the future tell him to leave you alone until he's got some solid evidence he's sorted the drink. Tell him if he ever gets as far as being in your life again he needs to stop using social media and get therapy to work out why he needs this extra attention. Can Guarantee he won't wanna do it. Or by the time he has you'll have moved on.
Also he's lost you. Not the other way round. You know you deserve better than this. You have got to ride out the next couple of months. You are going to be ok but please stick to it. Think of the long run..everytime you think about him think about him in bed with those women. Remind yourself how disrespectful he is!
Also on a lighter note I played dua lipa new rules and jamelia no more, and Joss stone you had me on repeat lol!! I personally find music helpful and kept me on track. Headphones in and a big walk in the countryside or the local park! I can't recommend being out in nature more. Lakes, woods anything. Take your child too. Just get out and refresh.
You can do it!! Keep talking to us x