called off wedding, do I go back or leave?

[Lostandconfused21]

I called off my wedding in February 2021 (I'm 26 and he's 27) because my gut feeling was telling me that I shouldn't get married, we have been together for 3 years but have known eachother for way longer. I dreaded the future and what it may hold. We had about a 2 month break from eachother which I had intiated.

The reasons why I didn't want to get married: I lost attraction for him, he didn't make effort in his appearance and didn't want to buy any new clothes for himself ever, I had to buy it for him. He didn't make me feel special, he wasn't very sociable. I was his entire social life.

Since the break, he's been going to the gym more regularly. Buying himself new clothes which he would never dare to do before. He's making new friendships outside of me. He has more confidence and just seems more positive. Both of us used this time to talk to other people on dating apps etc. He said that it has helped him appreciate me a lot more and does not have a toxic attachment to me anymore i.e. before, he felt that if i left him he wouldn't be able to get another girl like me. He no longer feels that way, he feels he would be able to date but feels like he is choosing me for the right reasons. (I kinda forced him to date, wasn't his idea)

My feelings: I am starting to grow more attraction for him, I have dated other men and I was close to getting with someone but I stopped because of him as I thought I should give it another try and if it doesn't work then it can be ended properly. I love how maturely he handled this whole situation despite me calling off the wedding! It makes me feel like he could handle most problems in future. He is making an effort to make me feel special more. I like that he is more confident within himself. We have a laugh together, he's my best friend honestly and I never get tired of his company. He's 10/10 in bed. I know he would make a good father, he has a good job. He's not the best looking, and he is a bit short for man. I did try date taller men as per my cousins advice to see how I feel but I don't think it is the important on the list. (I know that bit is shallow)

Soooo do I go back to him despite calling off the wedding!?

You don't fancy or love him enough, and that's ok, but you have to let him go so he can find someone who does.

@Lostandconfused21

Also, I wanted to add. I'm still tempted to date other men just to see what is out there on a casual basis. I wouldn't do anything physical with them though. I think that's what I need this year as once I am married I won't get this opportunity again. My gut feeling says I will go back to him though due to his qualities.

This post right here is exactly why you should not marry him @Lostandconfused21

If you truly love someone there's no way you'd even think about wanting a casual thing with other guys to get what you're "missing" before committing to the person you intend to marry. End it now and find someone else or you'll almost certainly end up divorced or unhappily married down the line. It's totally unfair to put any future innocent children through all this too.