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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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To be disgusted with dp checking out someone else

312 replies

Lavenderfields2 · 04/07/2021 13:23

Me and dp have only recently reconciled from nearly breaking up. I've recently had our first born and he knows me confident levels have been rock bottom. I look a mess and feel just as worse. I'm not asking for sympathy for it, but he is aware. Dp is a natural stare. He is always side eyeing people when we are out and when i ask him why he is staring at someone he just says his eyes trail off. Well me and dp and baby are all in the car. We were sitting in a car park when this lady comes out pushing her pram. She is wearing a nice tight dress and even I could see she had a nice figure. I caught him staring out of the corner of my eye and when I went to face him his eyes darted away. He then did it again when he thought I wasnt looking. She turned around and she was heavily pregnant. Aibu to be disgusted by this? I know people look, and it may of not been a sexual thing in his mind he may of just generally been staring. But given the fact we were only just on verge of a break up, and our baby was also in the back of our car, and she was very much pregnant, I think it's enough to warrant some silent treatment?

OP posts:
mn2022 · 05/07/2021 14:32

@BigButtons

No, that doesn't prove your point at all Confused

LittleNibbler · 05/07/2021 14:37

@mn2022 all abusive relationships are different, you don’t get to judge the OP, you have no idea what’s going on, what’s happened whatsoever. ‘Willingly’ is debatable. Many women go back and end up dead - would you victim blame them too?

BigButtons · 05/07/2021 14:37

@mn2022 yes and so did I. Not only that but I choose to have 6 children with him despite the fact that he was controlling and violent.

The Op has also made a choice to be with an abuser. people do, that's what happens. Some get out sooner, some later, some never.

mn2022 · 05/07/2021 14:38

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LittleNibbler · 05/07/2021 14:38

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mn2022 · 05/07/2021 14:40

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BigButtons · 05/07/2021 14:42

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mn2022 · 05/07/2021 14:43

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girlmom21 · 05/07/2021 14:45

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mn2022 · 05/07/2021 14:47

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BigButtons · 05/07/2021 14:47

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BigButtons · 05/07/2021 14:49

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mn2022 · 05/07/2021 14:50

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HappyCamperT5 · 05/07/2021 14:51

I've reported this thread now. It's taken a turn for the worse and I don't think its helpful for the OP any more. I hope it's taken down.

BigButtons · 05/07/2021 14:51

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BigButtons · 05/07/2021 14:52

@HappyCamperT5

I've reported this thread now. It's taken a turn for the worse and I don't think its helpful for the OP any more. I hope it's taken down.
I agree. i reported it yesterday. Hope the OP manages to get out.
LittleNibbler · 05/07/2021 14:52

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mn2022 · 05/07/2021 14:55

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girlmom21 · 05/07/2021 14:55

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mn2022 · 05/07/2021 14:56

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BigButtons · 05/07/2021 15:00

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ThatFlamingCandle · 05/07/2021 15:04

The fact she's pregnant is irrelevant.

So true. This doesn't really make a difference. She's pregnant, so what? Men have sex with their pregnant partners too- they must all be perverts!

He noticed a woman who looked nice and you feel insecure about it. Understandable (most have been there) but it's your issue to deal with at the same time

whatthejiggeries · 05/07/2021 15:06

Yes once you are in a committed relationship you must never look at another person. In fact you should be fitted with blinkers. HTH

MichaelMumsnet · 05/07/2021 15:13

Hi all, we've removed some posts that break Talk guidelines from this thread. Hopefully things will get back on track now. Please do report any further concerns, we're always fine to take a look.