DP's questionable posts

[RollLikeThunder]

I've been with DP since our final year at university and we've been together for 3 years. He's always had a Reddit account and over the years he's sent me numerous links of posts he's made about our dog. This morning, I was looking to commission a picture of our dog into some artwork, and as I didn't have a copy of the picture, decided to have a look at his account to see if I could find it so I could surprise him with the final product.

I saw, amongst others, posts about how a woman's value in a relationship is her attractiveness while a man's is his bank account, how he doesn't understand why men oppose feminism because feminism has brought us only fans, how there's a reason women's earning power peaks at 38 while men's stand at 49, how women love objectifying themselves but cry when men do it to them etc. I know it's his account as his most recent post was about a vet appointment our dog had.

He's never voiced anything even remotely like this to me and he's made questionable jokes but I've always called him out on them and he's always apologised afterwards. Surely this is red flag though?!?

This man is an idiot OP. As a young woman with no children together you've got a lot of years to find someone decent to have a family with.

His online self is his real self.

How you behave when you think you won't face consequences says a lot about you.

As everyone else is saying - this is who he really is.

Ignoring this shit isn't going to make it go away.

OP, this must have really thrown you 🤯

He sounds very immature and quite deeply misogynistic - but worse than that, he sounds a bit dim, like he’s spouting all sort of half-baked theories. This sort of weakness of mind would be what really put me off him for good. He wants to blame others (women) for ‘society’, which is just tedious and narrow minded and not even worth arguing with (it’s very draining to argue with ‘stupid’).

On the other hand, you sound like you have your shit together and you’re justifiably angry, which is how you should feel given it’s taken a few years for the mask to slip. I expect you will actually be able to look back now and a few other comments / incidents from him will pop up as questionable too.

You get one life and as you get older most of us realise it’s not worth wasting time and energy on dead-end relationships (love, friends and even family)…

Imho this is likely to be a case of you not being able to un-see and un-read what you know to be true about him. So cut your losses…

Yeah he has well and truly fallen down the incel rabbit hole. Good to know up front.

Don't underestimate how corrupting that kind of online environment can be. It's like a cult. That doesn't help you of course but it does make me somewhat pity underachieving men who put their energies into blaming women instead of improving their own lots. That pity evaporates once they start getting hatey.

There is a small window of opportunity to talk to him v honestly about this but I imagine it's been pretty off putting.

It's a 'woman's world'? PMSL Since when?!??? It's a MAN'S world. He is ignorant of the struggles of women.

'Legally stole' his money in the divorce? See OP, this shows that your 'D'P thinks any money a husband makes is HIS money and not family money, and that the wife is a 'freeloader'.

OP, your 'D'P is a bit of shit. He truly hates women. When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. Get out of this relationship pronto before you marry, have a kid to him, be a SAHM and are seen as a freeloader who is 'stealing' his money. If you have no children to him, consider that you've dodged a bullet. You are free to leave him with no strings attached. What a lowlife maggot he is!

He has shown you what he thinks of women. BELIEVE HIM! Do not breed with him, get out now.

KNOW YOUR WORTH!

He does realise there’s lots of sex work online for men too, right? There’s a huge market for ‘straight’ gay porn and lots of straight men do it to make money. Or is that too ‘beta’ for him?

Really, he’s just regurgitating crazy incel stuff. You’re young and have no real ties to him. Take your dog and run and never look back. Nothing good can come from this and there are lots of lovely men out there who think this is as wacky as you do. Chuck this yucky fish back in the sea for someone more stupid than you.

It also shows exactly why some men who consume a lot of porn have some mighty weird attitudes that women are all only too willing to accept sleazy men if putting out and getting paid to do so-

@RollLikeThunder

The thing is he's not like this day to day! Granted we've been a bit distant the past year as we've both probably spent more time on our phones or watching Netflix instead of talking to each other like we did before but it's a shock.

Ofcourse he's not like this day-to-day. He is hiding from you what he really thinks of you and all women, because if you knew you would have left him a long time ago.

He has his use for women, but it's not as partners and equals. Being in a relationship with him means he will manipulate you until you are totally dependant on him and cleaning up after him all day long. That's what he wants from you. But if he was honest about this, would you have stayed?

I laughed out loud when I read "it's a woman's world." Honestly, I'd have to dump him for that.

You can't go through life with this man knowing he resents women's success and sexuality, despises them and worst of all views them as one homogenous group.

What next...racism?

He's a whiny baby, and deceptive to boot.

You can do so much better.

This is a garbage man. Sorry. There’s no recovery from this. Throw him to the curb and find a man who understands women are real live people. Not sex toys that ‘hit the wall’ at 30. Ugh. Men like this are repulsive.