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Original poster

DP's questionable posts

162 replies

RollLikeThunder · 25/06/2021 21:20

I've been with DP since our final year at university and we've been together for 3 years. He's always had a Reddit account and over the years he's sent me numerous links of posts he's made about our dog. This morning, I was looking to commission a picture of our dog into some artwork, and as I didn't have a copy of the picture, decided to have a look at his account to see if I could find it so I could surprise him with the final product.

I saw, amongst others, posts about how a woman's value in a relationship is her attractiveness while a man's is his bank account, how he doesn't understand why men oppose feminism because feminism has brought us only fans, how there's a reason women's earning power peaks at 38 while men's stand at 49, how women love objectifying themselves but cry when men do it to them etc. I know it's his account as his most recent post was about a vet appointment our dog had.

He's never voiced anything even remotely like this to me and he's made questionable jokes but I've always called him out on them and he's always apologised afterwards. Surely this is red flag though?!?

OP posts:
B1rdflyinghigh · 25/06/2021 21:46

Are these meme type photos? Because there's a huge significant difference in amusing stereotypes V basic words. I appreciate the humour in stereotypes, but would hate words to be directed at me. There's a difference .

mylovelydd · 25/06/2021 21:53

I think if my DH posted those things it would really change how I felt about him because it would make me think I really didn't know him at all.
His words smack of having zero respect for women and that he views them as pretty objects that cease to be useful after the age of 38.
And if he thinks those things he is definitely not a feminist.

Original poster
RollLikeThunder · 25/06/2021 21:57

Some were replies to memes, rest were replies to discussion or advice posts.

OP posts:
MadMadMadamMim · 25/06/2021 22:02

I'd be asking him why he posted shit like that. And if this is genuinely his opinion on women then let's just call it a day. I can do better than a misogynistic and immature twat.

What the fuck is his degree in and how is he so uneducated as to find this funny?

Unanananana · 25/06/2021 22:12

Well thats a fanny drier if I ever read one!

Thats how he sees you. Is that what you deserve?

Sakurami · 25/06/2021 23:22

Massive red flags

Cockenspiel · 25/06/2021 23:32

Well, he’s a fucking creep what you don’t know very well ConfusedSad

Cockenspiel · 25/06/2021 23:32

‘That’ not what.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 25/06/2021 23:38

Make sure you take the dog when you leave.

cheeseismydownfall · 25/06/2021 23:41

OP, it sounds like he has taken the red pill.

If you don't know what that means, google it.

I'm so sorry.

Prettybubblesintheair · 25/06/2021 23:49

Massive red flags. From you…who doesn’t have a million photos of their dog on their phone!

But seriously that is fucking awful, he sounds like he sees women as massively beneath him and he might be a subscriber to only fans. Is that really what you want in a husband?

MarshmallowAra · 26/06/2021 00:27

Sounds like he's become a "red Piller".

That's standard red pill shit.

It says nothing good about him. Their views obviously appeal to him and align with his.

MarshmallowAra · 26/06/2021 00:28

It's underpinned by quite a lot of misogyny.

MarshmallowAra · 26/06/2021 00:30

I've not actually read any red pill or mgtow stuff in so long, I hadn't seen the only fans reference/opinion bit if fits well with their general views.

MarshmallowAra · 26/06/2021 00:32

how there's a reason women's earning power peaks at 38

Oh and I'm sure that's related to the fact that women are usually the ones who sacrifice career for kids ...
But that would be a bit too fair & reasonable for red pillers to consider.

Regularsizedrudy · 26/06/2021 00:51

So youre mid twenties? He’s a moron. Just dump him. Do you really want to share your life with someone who thinks you are inferior? Grim.

Original poster
RollLikeThunder · 26/06/2021 04:16

Bloody fantastic. We were watching something on Netflix and I could see he was falling asleep so I just told him I saw his Reddit account and wondered if he was serious with those posts.

He said I was stalking him online (I don't count it as stalking as he gave me his username) and that it's nothing. I could see that he didn't want to talk about it but I pushed and pushed and he snapped and shouted well you can't deny it's true.

I asked what's true, and then he said something along the lines of women always want more despite having everything, you can already make money with no effort and yet still want to play the victim. Asked him wtf he meant, and he then said that all his male friends were so worried last year about losing their jobs whereas it doesn't matter if women lose their jobs if they're not already exchanging sex for promotions as they will all just get a sugar daddy, sell nudes, do cam stuff. He then talked about how men in the office are scared of talking to women in case they get accused of sexual harassment, how his colleagues' wife 'legally stole' his money after divorce and some other nonsense. I asked him where is this coming from and he stormed out of the house!!

The last year has been incredibly stressful and despite us both working from home we've probably spent less time together than before but he never used to be like this.

OP posts:
AdaThorne · 26/06/2021 04:23

Has he come back now? If not where could he have gone?

This is all really troubling and horrible and definitely would be ringing massive alarm bells for me I’m afraid.

Weenurse · 26/06/2021 04:30

Time for goodbye

Original poster
RollLikeThunder · 26/06/2021 04:31

Nope, not back. He's probably at his best mate's who's just down the road, who knows.

OP posts:
Standrewsschool · 26/06/2021 04:33

Do you think he actually believes all this stuff, or been feeding lots of trollop from work colleagues, and just looked things up at home. It sounds like he works in a toxic environment. Has the stress of the last year lowered his defences and got to him?

Can you have a reasoned conversation and explain that he has been misled? Explain that some women can be like that, but not all. I wouldn’t dismiss what he says altogether - I’m not saying it’s true, but obviously his work colleague has been aggrieved by his ex-wife, Theres been newspaper articles about sugar daddies etc. Maybe ask him for evidence of what he says, and who he knows has a sugar daddy. Maybe when he realises they’re very few and far between, then he’ll come to his senses.

Summerhillsquare · 26/06/2021 04:33

Just a standard sexist prick then.

Dogladyxo · 26/06/2021 04:34

Wow - just knowing he has these views on women would be enough to make me vomit and run. What a horrid man!

Dogladyxo · 26/06/2021 04:36

@Standrewsschool wow this is a lot of work! Any non sexist prick wouldn't even be thinking this never mind telling their partner this.

StuffinThePuffin · 26/06/2021 04:38

Silver lining - you found out who he really is whilst you're still very young, and before you married or had kids with him.