DP's questionable posts

[RollLikeThunder]

I've been with DP since our final year at university and we've been together for 3 years. He's always had a Reddit account and over the years he's sent me numerous links of posts he's made about our dog. This morning, I was looking to commission a picture of our dog into some artwork, and as I didn't have a copy of the picture, decided to have a look at his account to see if I could find it so I could surprise him with the final product.

I saw, amongst others, posts about how a woman's value in a relationship is her attractiveness while a man's is his bank account, how he doesn't understand why men oppose feminism because feminism has brought us only fans, how there's a reason women's earning power peaks at 38 while men's stand at 49, how women love objectifying themselves but cry when men do it to them etc. I know it's his account as his most recent post was about a vet appointment our dog had.

He's never voiced anything even remotely like this to me and he's made questionable jokes but I've always called him out on them and he's always apologised afterwards. Surely this is red flag though?!?

There's something particularly vile about hardboiled anti-feminists. I assume he makes generalisations of other groups of society based on shitty stereotypes that just happen to reinforce privileges that he has?

Sorry op this is really shit. An acquaintance ended up having to escape from her very anti-"feminazi" husband, it was quite horrible.

Be grateful you found out pre marriage or children.

I have heard these views from teen boys and it comes from their fears of losing control. They know they live in a society where being male has advantages (they see it in their home life) and they are aware women's equality threaten their power so they absorb all the misogynist venting on forums. Usually these characters are weak and lacking in empathy and by 20s they are unlikely to change.

The fact he believes a woman can steal as a result of divorce shows you cannot marry him. Scary stuff and horrible to have to face the reality of his views but you will save yourself such heartache in the future by leaving him now.

Is he an ex yet?

Certainly good perspectives and points of view on the topics.

Some men are honestly jealous of what THEY perceive as being advantages to being a woman. Does he really think that if he were a woman who lost her job that he would just go into sex work, or set up an only fans so that he didn’t go hungry, does he really genuinely think he would do it, and that it would be THAT easy if he did? Does he think that is what you would do if you lost your job? Does he see sex work or cam work as being an option for you? Say if both lost your jobs, would he expect you to take up sex work or set up an only fans so you guys didn’t starve and end up homeless, you know because it’s just so easy for women to do and as a woman you can, so you should??

See this is why getting down to what he really thinks is so important, because it’s not just what he thinks, it about what he expects, and expects from you.

If he thinks it’s some kind of advantage to be able to sell yourself for sex, then he’s deluded. If he thinks it’s some kind of advantage that he gets to be jealous of, he ought to be reminded that he himself has the exact same advantage and could become a rent boy, or do gay cams…..though I would bet that he suddenly doesn’t find it such an appealing prospect when the shoe really is on the other foot!!!

Does he ever consider that the fact that women can be sold for sex is an actual disadvantage, and a risk to women and girls become it makes them a target to be kidnapped or lured under false pretences and end up being trafficked??? Sadly it happens all the time, does he have to worry that it will ever happen to him?? Does he ever stop to think that some of the porn be watches, or some the only fans, webcam accounts feature trafficked girls and women? Or in his view is it all just full of women taking men for their money??

Honestly OP I couldn’t share the same oxygen with any man who I knew to hold these sorts of thoughts and ideas.

You could always ask him... don't worry if you lose your job, I (meaning you) could go on OnlyFans.

How would be like you (his partner) to be doing that?

Obviously, I'm not advocating that as a possibility, merely how it's ok for other women to do it, but not someone he perceives as 'his'.

But the OnlyFans comment is only one of his opinions. 'Shagging your way to the top' is another common workplace criticism amongst men, and sometimes women. No comment will be made on the middle aged bosses taking advantage of power for all manner of purposes. Of how stronger woman are often criticised as 'over the top' or 'opinionated', yet the very same attributes in a man are labelled as 'proactive' or 'leadership'.

You'd have to be utterly thick not to recognise even half of women's plight or the daily issues that affect them (fear, sexualisation, prejudice et al).

A man can never truly understand it ALL from a woman's perspective, but they can grasp a lot of it. Having no grasp at all is worrying.

Sorry for typos - using phone!

Thank fuck you found out his real opinion of women - and by extension of you - before you married this hideous man. You’ve had a very lucky escape.

Reddit is a cesspit and he’s obviously fallen for some typical MGTOW bullshit, and clearly has no idea what it’s like being a woman in our society, nor does he care. Just the idea that it wouldn’t matter if I lost my job because I have the option of debasing myself by selling my body is staggering.

He’s bought into the idea that men are hard done by, which is fucking hilarious and fucking appalling.

Please don’t let him back in ever again.

What a vile cunt he is.

Women are privileged because they can prostitute themselves more easily than a man if they're out of work.

It's almost funny.

Almost.

Oh and the only reason they can is that men are main purchasers in the sex industry.

If he and his mates are so resentful of women's privilege in having easier prostitution opportunities, why don't they campaign for men to stop paying for and using sexual services?

No? Winder why not.

IME the guys with these sort of opinions are usually porn soaked and often sex industry customers - but they wouldn't want to stop that, no.

I will never fully fathom the pleasure in sex with someone who doesn't want to be having it, and that is pretty much the overwhelming majority of pornography. Even if it's not 'with', it's 'via'. It's neither fulfilling nor erotic imo, but that's another topic entirely.

Sex for money is an option available to both sexes. There is a reason why it's predominantly for the entertainment of men, and at the expense of women - because men 'expect', and some women's options are so reduced, they have little choice.

If getting to the top of a career ladder was so easy for women, far more would manage it. If women WANTED to sleep their way to the top, they'd have done so (since there will be countless opportunities). They don't though. They often stick in undervalued jobs, endure all manner of oppression and then have to listen to how easy it all is.

OP, be careful. It sounds like your partner is deep into Red-Pill, MRA, incel, manosphere stuff.
If you found this online I can only imagine how he speaks about you behind your back to his mates.

I would not dignify this shit with anymore conversation.

I'm fucked if I'd gently be asking why he thought this and trying to pick it apart. What a waste of skin he is.

End of relationship, no question.

He came home drunk/hungover this morning crying and said he snapped because he was so frustrated at how it's a women's world and there's nothing he can do to change it. And then he said he didn't mind being a 'beta' to me if I wanted whatever the hell that means. Have walked the dog straight to my parent's house as I can't be arsed at the moment to be honest.

Hes been on those red pill/ MGTOW posts. Its only gonna get worse for YOU as you get older, those men have no value for women, even less for them as they get older

@RollLikeThunder

He came home drunk/hungover this morning crying and said he snapped because he was so frustrated at how it's a women's world and there's nothing he can do to change it. And then he said he didn't mind being a 'beta' to me if I wanted whatever the hell that means. Have walked the dog straight to my parent's house as I can't be arsed at the moment to be honest.

Just tell him to fuck off, OP.

Honestly. He's a pathetic specimen and you are wasting your time. Nasty little men like this don't change.

Alpha, beta, whatever, it's childish.

You're two equal partners with equal value, and different abilities as individuals.

A woman's world? My God.

There is nothing wrong with him feeling down. Nothing that reduces his masculinity in it. He should be expressing his worries and sharing them with you, not blaming all of womankind for how life works out.

He is indoctrinated with an abjectly unhealthy view of women. Is it fixable? maybe - but he's have to extricate himself from toxic groups of men who have nothing better to do than convince themselves that this horrifically dangerous doctrine is valid.

How can any man look into a woman's eyes - person to person, and truly believe that somehow she is the enemy? That somehow the world favours her?

Getting drunk and then returning to you to spout more of this crap is just beyond the pale. Fuelled up on alcohol, and undoubtably more toxic rhetoric is not a sign of a man who's accepting the error of his misguided belief. It's more a sign of one who is sinking ever deeper into it.

A 'beta' to you. I'm spitting feathers. Is that how he views relationships?

@RollLikeThunder

He came home drunk/hungover this morning crying and said he snapped because he was so frustrated at how it's a women's world and there's nothing he can do to change it. And then he said he didn't mind being a 'beta' to me if I wanted whatever the hell that means. Have walked the dog straight to my parent's house as I can't be arsed at the moment to be honest.

It's a woman's world?!

I don't know which I would dump him for first - being a misogynist cunt or being a stupid one. I mean I would dump him for both but fuck me, you've got yourself an ex there surely? Not a boyfriend / partner / husband?

Please tell me you aren't going to continue a relationship with someone who thinks these things?!

He hasn't even said he doesn't believe them! He's said he does, they are true and he will just squash down his bitterness and be a 'beta' for you.

If your vagina hasn't clamped shut by now it should have.

He hates women. He sees a woman in porn and simultaneously wanks while looking at her and hates her for working in the sex industry because he's so thick he thinks that an industry that puts eyes on women is the same as those women having a platform and power. Fucked up beyond belief. And like I said, stupid too.

I'm male. It's clearly not a woman's world. As the above poster states, not only misogynist but stupid!

If he was sixteen, he might be forgiven for not having experienced enough of life to realise how wrong he is, but he's what, early to mid-twenties?

You can do better.
Wait, let me rephrase that, because you shouldn't have to do better.

He doesn't deserve a relationship with a woman. I'm not quite sure why he wants one. Best place for him is probably on his Reddit group. The longer he is there, the less he's actually out in the real world interacting with women.

He doesn't deserve a relationship with a woman. I'm not quite sure why he wants one. Best place for him is probably on his Reddit group. The longer he is there, the less he's actually out in the real world interacting with women.

Alllll of this.

Reddit is welcome to these guys!

I would dump his ass. And I'm saying that as an ex escort/prostitute!

Run away, very very fast and very very far

throws in a pair of trainers for free

Oh wow! What a nightmare. But you've found out what he's like and, believe me, he is likely to get worse with age.

How happy were you in the relationship before all this came to light?