DP's questionable posts

[RollLikeThunder]

I've been with DP since our final year at university and we've been together for 3 years. He's always had a Reddit account and over the years he's sent me numerous links of posts he's made about our dog. This morning, I was looking to commission a picture of our dog into some artwork, and as I didn't have a copy of the picture, decided to have a look at his account to see if I could find it so I could surprise him with the final product.

I saw, amongst others, posts about how a woman's value in a relationship is her attractiveness while a man's is his bank account, how he doesn't understand why men oppose feminism because feminism has brought us only fans, how there's a reason women's earning power peaks at 38 while men's stand at 49, how women love objectifying themselves but cry when men do it to them etc. I know it's his account as his most recent post was about a vet appointment our dog had.

He's never voiced anything even remotely like this to me and he's made questionable jokes but I've always called him out on them and he's always apologised afterwards. Surely this is red flag though?!?

Set fire to him and roast some marshmallows over his burning corpse.

If these are his true feelings, I am so so sorry

Run like the wind, he is a pig. As a woman in her 50s I doubt I'd make much money on Onlyfans if I lost my job. Seriously, you've dodged a bullet here, don't waste another second of your time on time on him.

He sounds like he hates women. Don't marry him, don't have kids with him. He will not treat you well.

Won't feel like I but you've dodged a bullet Thank goodness you've found out what he is like now and not further down the line.

I couldn't be with someone who hated women. Honestly, he isn't who you thought he is. You need to grieve for the relationship you thought you had, and get the hell out of there.

This is either what he really thinks or he’s just regurgitating whatever is being said by the toxic males he’s come into contact with. However It really doesn’t matter if it is the former or the latter, his views aren’t compatible with yours and you have to decide if you want to invest more of your life with someone who thinks so little of women.

I personally wouldn’t waste my breath trying to reason with him, he’s entitled to his views even abhorrent ones. The balls in your court, even though there’s a strong probability he will apologise profusely when he realises that you aren’t buying his bravado. Urgh, sexist twats are one thing but wet blanket ‘well Jim from accounts said it, so it must be true’ sexist twat sheep, are even more repugnant.

I’m sorry for the loss of the person you thought you were in a relationship with.

I'm sorry OP, but what a lucky narrow escape you have had.

@alwayscrashinginthesamecar1

Run like the wind, he is a pig. As a woman in her 50s I doubt I'd make much money on Onlyfans if I lost my job. Seriously, you've dodged a bullet here, don't waste another second of your time on time on him.

As another woman in her 50s I doubt I’d make much money on onlyfans either if I lost my job , which only highlights the absolutely sexist double standards of the whole thing I’m sure he thinks women of this age are worthless anyway as we are only ever worth our looks and being young Only fans , porn , favours from men all rely on one thing …. Meeting the rest for being used by men and them agreeing to consume the woman for whatever reward THEY bestow upon her The man ALWAYS has the power , never the women , despite the illusion It’s him who decides if she’s sexy enough , Worthy of being looked at or fucked And then THE MAN decides… He’s a piece of crap person and an unintelligent one at that

Urgh, he’s very sexist. Get out of the relationship OP.

Is he saying that if you both lost your jobs, he would expect you to make an income from Only Fans while he focused on his career?

Or that the courts are biased in favour of women, rather than seeing family income while one party is a caregiver as shared?

Run...

Shite! As a PP said. My nethers would slam shut so hard you would hear the clap in Fiji.

The thing is thi is what he is actually like. You have had a window in to his innermost thoughts.

I couldn't get past that to be honest. Being seen as a nothing after 38. Mmmm.....

How fortuitous that you discovered what a completely sexist bastard he is before you married or had kids with him. I’m sorry he’s not who you thought he was.

He's misogynistic and has been keeping it quiet so you'll sleep with him (and keep him company, massage his ego, etc.).

He honestly believes that if a woman loses her job she can steal it or do Web cam work?!!

Dump him. His views are disgusting.

Awful. Dump him.

Dump him

He'll only get worse and worse

Agree with pp - google red pill

Even if the stress of the last year has got to him this is still a dealbreaker for me. He thinks all women get on in life by selling themselves? Sadly you'll never be able to forget even if you tried, you're young and well educated, throw this one back and get on with yoir life

So he apologises afterwards but then keeps on doing these things. So he’s saying what you want to hear to keep the peace.
You need to consider this long term.

Tell him not to bother coming back

His views are disgusting

You are young. It will wreck you to have a breakup after three years of commitment to each other but you've been shown that he is really not a keeper. Walk away now.

I pity anyone who would settle down with this man long term.

Jesus Christ, what a massive twat!
Just shows, you can have a relationship with someone and not really know what they are like!

I can understand the stress of work and potential job losses, totally, but how that relates to women is absurd.

He is not showing any intelligence, merely regurgitating sexist and dated attitudes towards women.

Sometimes people say things they don't mean. But those situations are rare and regrettable. They aren't consistent posts on Reddit expressing misogynistic views.

Men and women often have different views, as do any two individuals. Sometimes opinions about how gender influences social behaviour might differ and these discussions are usually a respectful debate with sensible input from both sides. But sweeping generalisations about either sex is never good. When it is in a critical context, even worse. If used in anger, then there is a serious issue.

Pragmatically, I would say the best option is the talk with him rationally. Get past his male ego and find out what he truly believes.

If he does believe the nonsense he is spouting, then the choice is yours...
If he doesn't believe it, but just thinks it's OK to perpetuate it, then he needs to grow a set of balls and voice what HE believes, not what his mates think.

Either way. Change is required.
He is entirely in the wrong.

I don't think I could be with a man after seeing they're his views.

Someone who values women so little might also end up being someone who is ok abusing women.

It's wrong and it's sexist.

Crikey what a horrible discovery, so sorry OP, what a sexist twat.