Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Original poster

He wants nothing more to do with me over a minor thing

182 replies

Hasinah101 · 24/06/2021 19:07

I’ve posted before about an incident that happened but just to a quick summary of what previously happened was, he wanted to leave me because he said he had an emotional break down due to us being an hour away from each other and him being so madly in love with me that he’ll find it hard not being able to see me everyday.. eventually he came round and was like sorry I love you, he wasn’t himself when he was having his breakdown and he said things he didn’t mean..

Currently as we speak I’m not begging for him to not leave me. I stupidly sent him a conversation between me and my ex where it was just me telling my ex I want absolutely nothing to do with him.. but a day before this my bf asked to see my phone.. more specifically look in my gallery and I have some embarrassing pics in there so I was like no but after like a min I was like ok.. but he assumed I deleted stuff..

Now he is telling me to leave him, that the whole time I have been faking our relationship.. he just wants to be alone, that his life is shit.. that I should go back to my cheating ex and why am I being so nice to him after he cheated in the past for 2 yrs…

Everything is a mess, I don’t know what to do.. please don’t be horrible.. I’m just thinking to leave him to it bc in all honesty I’m exhausted

OP posts:

Original poster

Hasinah101 · 25/06/2021 15:53

@Closetbeanmuncher I have blocked a few now. He’s constantly begging to be my friend but doesn’t want a relationship anymore and now he’s saying he’s decided he never wants a gf or a family or kids but he can’t lose me and wants to see me tomorrow 😕

I just want to know why he’s saying all of this now after he told me to leave him for the whole day yesterday

OP posts:

pictish · 25/06/2021 15:58

So you’ll remain in his soul-sucking thrall I guess.

You barely know each other. You don’t owe him a thing. Fuck off demanding little man.

MingeofDeath · 25/06/2021 16:15

Grow up

Mamanyt · 25/06/2021 16:18

Disengage. And seriously consider counseling for yourself. Every word you say shows how very vulnerable you are emotionally, and how easily an abuser, physical and/or emotional, could push just the right buttons to pull you in. PLEASE, block this guy...do not engage in any way. Delete messages unanswered. BUT GET THAT COUNSELING! You are worth more than that. EVERY woman is worth more than that.

excelledyourself · 25/06/2021 16:20

[quote Hasinah101]@Closetbeanmuncher I have blocked a few now. He’s constantly begging to be my friend but doesn’t want a relationship anymore and now he’s saying he’s decided he never wants a gf or a family or kids but he can’t lose me and wants to see me tomorrow 😕

I just want to know why he’s saying all of this now after he told me to leave him for the whole day yesterday[/quote]
Because he knows you're lapping it up and that he has you thing yourself in knots over him.

DinaofCloud9 · 25/06/2021 16:31

If this is real then you need to stop enjoying the drama and just never reply again. Seriously it's so obvious.

ChequerBoard · 25/06/2021 16:34

I just want to know why he’s saying all of this now after he told me to leave him for the whole day yesterday[/quote]
Because he's a weirdo.

Why are you so overinvested in this loser?

xsquared · 25/06/2021 16:36

I just want to know why he’s saying all of this now after he told me to leave him for the whole day yesterday[/quote]
Again, this is him manipulating your feelings and making you think you owe him some sort of relationship. Just because he wants to see you, it doesn't mean you have to if you don't want to.

He is saying all this because he knows you will bite.

He tells you to jump, you ask "How high?"

He tells you to fetch and you do.

Stop playing his games and eventually he will get bored and leave you alone or he will shrivel up and die as he wants you to believe. Either way the only way to stop the drama is if you remove yourself from it, so block him already.

FayCarew · 25/06/2021 16:39

OP has not posted on any other thread.

OP if you are real, block his number and his SM accounts, leave him alone and get some counselling.

MadMadMadamMim · 25/06/2021 16:40

I just want to know why he’s saying all of this now after he told me to leave him for the whole day yesterday

Because he loves the drama. And so do you. Be honest - you're gaining something, however pathetic, from 150 posts from other women telling you to block him and gain some self respect. Is it just the attention you enjoy?

Crack on with it. There's no point anyone else telling you that he's a loser and so are you if you stay with him, one month into knowing him. You seem desperate to keep on agonising over it.

excelledyourself · 25/06/2021 16:40

@FayCarew

OP has not posted on any other thread.

OP if you are real, block his number and his SM accounts, leave him alone and get some counselling.

How do you know?

MondayMorningYetAgain · 25/06/2021 16:45

I hope you're not replying to these messages...

FayCarew · 25/06/2021 16:47

@excelledyourself, you can look on Advanced Search. It won't show posts made with a different username though

youvegottenminuteslynn · 25/06/2021 16:50

He's behaving like this because he has an audience willing to indulge it - you.

And the thing is OP, some arseholes simply want what they can't have. It often isn't any more complicated than that.

So when you're together, there's drama and you end it. When you end it and no longer want to be together, suddenly you're appealing to him again.

Then when he wins you over, he will get bored again. Because for him, being with someone nice, in a calmly secure relationship is boring.

You're getting something out of romanticising and ruminating over this 'intense' dynamic that is actually just unhealthy, immature and boring.

Both exhibiting unhealthy behaviours. Both lacking sensible boundaries.
Both desperate to continue these dramatics.

Both need to work on yourselves before dating anyone.

velvetpeach · 25/06/2021 17:02

Why on earth bother asking for advice if you have no intention of disengaging?! Take some responsibility for your own mental health and happiness and walk away. But you won't. Very little sympathy for this self-inflicted drama.

excelledyourself · 25/06/2021 17:05

[quote FayCarew]@excelledyourself, you can look on Advanced Search. It won't show posts made with a different username though[/quote]
Oh right. I thought you meant something else, as I assume she has namechanged

Nancydrawn · 25/06/2021 18:23

You have known this man for four weeks.

In that time, he has told you he's unstable, called you 171 times in a day (or roughly once every four to five minutes for 12 hours), searched through your phone, accused you of cheating, told you he loved you, broke up with you, and had an emotional breakdown because you live an hour away.

You need to step away from this. You need to work on yourself. And you need to decide exactly what kind of life you want to live.

Dontbeme · 25/06/2021 18:50

@Hasinah101

I blocked him and he got a new number And messaged me saying we can be friends and he can’t be in a relationship as he is too toxic And he doesn’t want to ruin what we have and still wants me in his life

Doesn't want to ruin what you have? You've know him four weeks you don't "have" anything. We can't decipher what he means when spouting off his nonsense, he most likely doesn't mean anything he says but anyway why does it matter what it means? Message him one time to tell him you want no further contact and if he does you will be calling the police. Then follow through on this, this guy is waving giant red flags all over the place.

toocold54 · 25/06/2021 18:53

but doesn’t want a relationship anymore and now he’s saying he’s decided he never wants a gf or a family or kids but he can’t lose me and wants to see me tomorrow

Let me guess he wants to still have sex with you but not be in a relationship with you.
Do not let him treat you like such a mug.

PartTimeLegend · 25/06/2021 19:06

I just want to know why he’s saying all of this now after he told me to leave him for the whole day yesterday[/quote]
Tell him to stop. You do not want him to contact you any more, it is over.

He is harassing you now. If he persists, call the police.

blacksax · 25/06/2021 19:08

he can't lose me and wants to see me tomorrow

How come he gets to make all the decisions? Who cares what he wants, what do you want? You decide.

Original poster

Hasinah101 · 25/06/2021 19:25

I have told him to never contact me again

OP posts:

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 25/06/2021 19:27

Hooray! Now block him.

ChequerBoard · 25/06/2021 19:30

Honestly OP, I think you should consider changing your number so he can't reach you at all and you won't be tempted to respond in a weak moment.

toocold54 · 25/06/2021 19:32

I have told him to never contact me again

Good job OP.
Next time he contacts you don’t even reply to say stop contacting me.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Swipe left for the next trending thread