He wants nothing more to do with me over a minor thing

[Hasinah101]

I’ve posted before about an incident that happened but just to a quick summary of what previously happened was, he wanted to leave me because he said he had an emotional break down due to us being an hour away from each other and him being so madly in love with me that he’ll find it hard not being able to see me everyday.. eventually he came round and was like sorry I love you, he wasn’t himself when he was having his breakdown and he said things he didn’t mean..

Currently as we speak I’m not begging for him to not leave me. I stupidly sent him a conversation between me and my ex where it was just me telling my ex I want absolutely nothing to do with him.. but a day before this my bf asked to see my phone.. more specifically look in my gallery and I have some embarrassing pics in there so I was like no but after like a min I was like ok.. but he assumed I deleted stuff..

Now he is telling me to leave him, that the whole time I have been faking our relationship.. he just wants to be alone, that his life is shit.. that I should go back to my cheating ex and why am I being so nice to him after he cheated in the past for 2 yrs…

Everything is a mess, I don’t know what to do.. please don’t be horrible.. I’m just thinking to leave him to it bc in all honesty I’m exhausted

Relationships are not supposed to be drama filled, angst ridden nightmares.
It is never, ever worth it.
Just block him on everything and move on and if he harasses you - go to the police.

If you always go for toxic men then stop dating, find a therapist and unpick why that is and how to change it before you even think about dating again.

A month! You have absolutely nothing to lose by ending this. He sounds like a dick.

A month into a relationship you should be enjoying yourselves. Laughing and doing things that are fun. Going out for meals and talking about things that interest you. Meeting each other's friends and finding out if you actually like each other.

[quote Hasinah101]@Mamanyt I always go for toxic horrible men. Never have I found myself a nice, respectful man and I really don’t know why[/quote]
You either don't see the red flags. Or you do and you go for it anyway.

Which is it?

Never mistake intensity for passion.

@pictish then why is the relationship so intense already? Everything just seems so serious like we’ve already planned that we’re gona be together forever and he already talks about us moving in together in the near future

Love bombing is a form of control, not passion.
Read about the shark cage; there are men who go cruising looking for someone who's a good fit. You have to learn not to respond.

www.oomm.live/the-shark-cage-metaphor-spotting-potential-abusers/

[quote Hasinah101]@pictish then why is the relationship so intense already? Everything just seems so serious like we’ve already planned that we’re gona be together forever and he already talks about us moving in together in the near future[/quote]
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-narcissism/202103/what-is-future-faking-and-why-do-narcissists-do-it

He actually sounds dangerous. Like the kind of man who would become violent or even kill someone. Don't be that someone. (I'm sorry, that's such a horrible thing to say!)

OP, you really need to block him and not engage anymore. And please take some time and think about why you allowed yourself to get drawn into this.

After only a month together it's way too much drama, you really don't know this person. This guy has red flags all over the place and it's worrying that you didn't enforce boundaries sooner. You say you keep meeting toxic men, but in reality you are not cutting them off soon enough. When someone tells you who they are, believe them!

Step back and spend time with your friends/ family/ hobbies.

[quote Hasinah101]@pictish then why is the relationship so intense already? Everything just seems so serious like we’ve already planned that we’re gona be together forever and he already talks about us moving in together in the near future[/quote]
Yeh, it's called an abusive relationship, mate.

[quote Hasinah101]@pictish then why is the relationship so intense already? Everything just seems so serious like we’ve already planned that we’re gona be together forever and he already talks about us moving in together in the near future[/quote]
Oh dear, this sounds like teenage nonsense. If this is real then you have really need to have some therapy or something before trying to date again.

Trust me. He hasn't gone anywhere. You'll never get rid of him peacefully.

Dear Lord... A month???
No way?
You need to put an end to this nonsense now!
171 calls???
This guy's cheese has definitely slipped off his cracker.
End, and block, for your own safety.

A healthy relationship does not go from feeling amazing to feeling like utter shit in such a short time and certainly not over and over again.

He is unstable and manipulative. The relationship is very trapping and toxic. You feeling you don't know what to do in this situation shows that you are already doubting your own perception, and is a sign that the relationship is not a healthy one.

Break up with him because things are not going to get better.

It is absolutely shocking and extremely alarming that you even need to ask if he is normal. He is an unhinged psycho and you should have ended it the day you met him. You desperately need to do the Freedom Programme and don't date anyone until you do.

The Freedom Programme
freedomprogramme.co.uk/index.php

freedomprogramme.co.uk/docs/dominator-mr-right.pdf

It’s obvious what you need to do so just block him

You sound like you are almost enjoying the drama of it all to be honest. No reasonable person would think this was anything approaching healthy, let alone post the question on a forum seeking validation that it is...

It is not a healthy relationship. Neither of you seem to be able to understand the other. There is mo point analysing, just cut your losses and move on.

171, holy trinity.

@Hasinah101

Can I just say guys aswell, I was ill the other day and wasn’t on my phone and he left me 171 missed calls that day

Just no. Block and delete life is too short for this amount of drama

I think you are loving the drama and the love bombing. You sound very young. Do you have any adults to speak to who can make sense of this and help you work on your self esteem?

My god this is shocking.

This is an abusive man. It has been one month. And you are deeply unhappy. You shouldn't be asking what to do.

You need to be single until you have developed appropriate boundaries.

Do you have any friends? I cannot imagine why you would consider a relationship like this if you have other people in your life. If you dont really have any friends, thats what you need to do, build up that network.

I cannot imagine why you would consider a relationship like this if you have other people in your life.

Excellent point. I dated a similar guy in my early twenties and the reason I put up with his craziness was that I'd moved to another country by myself so I had no friends or family near.

First of all STOP calling it a relationship! It is not a relationship after one month.

Then get some perspective. No one reasonable would call anyone 171 times- that is frighteningly obsessive.

Finally stop saying you’ll ‘try’.
Just do it. End it with him then yes block him as others have suggested. He won’t go easily and that’s scary.